Will there be a second date?

[Curlyhairdonotcare]

Trying to be proactive about dating

I met a guy yesterday afternoon - met at one and left about six. Coffee - jubilee screen in the park and a pizza. I texted when I got home and we texted back and forward a bit. He did not reply to my last message about my new Monstera plant. He also did not cross the touch barrier.

He has not asked me out again. Does that mean he is not interested and I should continue my search?

Sounds like a nice date, but yes continue your search and as they say do not put all your eggs in one basket. Good luck.

Yes it was nice - but if he wanted to see me again he would have asked by now wouldnt he?

Yes, sounds like it was nice enough but I think he would have said something by now if he was interested in another date

I dunno if I’d have a great deal to say about a near-stranger’s plant, tbh. There’s such a thing as less is more when it comes to early dating and communication.

If yours was the last message then I’d say the ball is in his court to suggest meeting again. But equally, he may be as in the dark as you are about whether you actually want another date, if there was no attempt at even a peck of a kiss from you and you didn’t mention a next time. If you want to be proactive and know where you stand, just come right out with it. You’ve met him once and have nothing to lose.

Yes it was nice - but if he wanted to see me again he would have asked by now wouldnt he?

Maybe he's thinking the same OP.
A 5 hour first date is encouraging - why not ask him out again?

Ok what do I say?

My friend says I can come across as an ice queen. I also do not want to humilate myself.

omg Don’t ask him out again, did you miss the part where the op said he didn’t reply to her last message?! Seriously don’t ask him out again 😑

If you liked him enough to want to see him again, I'd send him a short text to say so.

Then leave it be.

If he's interested, he'll reply. If not, just move on. Plan a date with a good mate. Have fun.

I could never be doing with any game playing myself!

This was my instinct
just leave it and if i hear nothing by tomorrow hes not wanting to go out again

There’s nothing humiliating in just saying you thought it was a nice afternoon and were wondering if he wanted to do it again sometime. If he says no then what have you lost? You won’t be seeing him again and in a few weeks’ time he won’t even cross your mind.

Somebody has to make the move and suggest another date and it’s not as if you’ve given him anything to go on, if you didn’t make any more attempt than he did at touching and with a bit of casual chit-chat texting after the date.

Don’t message him. In my experience men will message you ASAP and let you know if they are interested. Are you new to OLD? Definitely keep dating and forget about this one.

No but I am trying to keep it moving quicker and stop wasting a few weeks with duds
That is why I am looking for advice

Goodness, all this guessing about people sounds exhausting. I’m glad I am too old for OLD.

OP, if you liked him, enjoyed his company, and would like to see him again, then I cannot see why playing games and waiting around is helpful. Just send a message to ask if he would like to do it again, and suggest an activity. Really, what is there to lose? And why should you wait around to see if he contacts you first? You’re both grown ups. We don’t have to wait for men to take the lead any more.

The quickest way to avoid wasting time with this dude is not to text him again and get on with dating other people. You instigated the texting after the date and he left your last text unanswered. He didn’t touch you over a five hour date, either. Move on. If he wants to see you again, he’ll let you know.

Yep agreed

Really, what is there to lose?

The OP’s self-respect and confidence, maybe?

And why should you wait around to see if he contacts you first?

She’s already left the ball in his court. She doesn’t need to run after him again.

You’re both grown ups.

Yes, that is why the OP is being advised to behave like one.

We don’t have to wait for men to take the lead any more.

Well, this one certainly isn’t. Why should the OP chase after him when she could be going out with someone who really likes her and shows it?

Be careful OP. You don’t want to be drawn into a beribboned book situation after being egged on by MN!

At least hes not a love bomber

Haha yes, small mercies! Keep going, the right one will be out there.

I wouldn't instigate texting again and see what he does.

Wouldn't write him off quite yet though, sounds like it's been less than 24hrs since the date? He may think it's obvious he likes you and he might be planning to ask

Some men are better at texting about this n thing at night if he's busy in work. You chatted last night, he may have gone to bed and might text tonight.

Leave it to him to make the move but based on what you've said it doesnt sound like a lost cause yet

Aye maybe
I will give it a bit of breathing space and wait until tomorrow anyway before I right him off

aye agree - he put a bit of chewing gum in his mouth just before we were going to say byeeee - made me think he wanted to be fresh for a kiss 😎🤣

Whether you text him or don’t, it’s useful to remember for future first dates that you’re both trying to get a read of the other as to whether they want to see you again and whether or not to risk the humiliation of asking for a second date and potentially being rejected. If I went on a date with somebody and then after it, we had a bit of to-ing and fro-ing by text which culminated in them telling me about their houseplant, my conclusion would be that I was supposed to infer they did not feel a spark and I was being gently friend-zoned - and I probably wouldn’t bother with any further response.

I don’t buy into wasting energy or time on wondering and game playing. A quick ‘I had fun yesterday. Would you like to do it again sometime?’ will let you know where you stand.

Agree with others on continuing to date.

Dont hold back 🥲