Will there be a second date?

[Curlyhairdonotcare]

Trying to be proactive about dating

I met a guy yesterday afternoon - met at one and left about six. Coffee - jubilee screen in the park and a pizza. I texted when I got home and we texted back and forward a bit. He did not reply to my last message about my new Monstera plant. He also did not cross the touch barrier.

He has not asked me out again. Does that mean he is not interested and I should continue my search?

Who said that it was representative of all dating experiences? Not me.

What is being represented is the ropy advice doled out to OPs who ask the “is he interested, we had a first date, I texted him afterwards, he’s stopped texting me” question. That’s very consistent on every thread!

I just would rather know one way or the other tbh
i dont have anytime for games
i find multi dating too exhausting and prefer to see one person at a time

I would not text first after a first date.

I would expect a man to either mention wanting to see me again at the end of the date face to face or to message me that evening afterwards or the next day to say he had a nice time and could we do it again.

I am sure many women will say we should also be able to take the initiative but personally I always found that it does not work after a first date ...if a man is interested you will know.

In this case you already contacted him first after the date and it is up to him to get back in touch and initiate another conversation. If he doesn't he is not interested.

Agree @Whitehorsegirl that has been my expierence
although I did have a guy last week arrange a follow up at the end of the last date and never heard from him again either?? i havent heard from
this guy yet today so I think its done

Look it's boring, it doesn't feel feminist or 'modern', but a man who is interested won't leave you in any doubt he is interested and will secure the next date asap. Let them take the lead. They like it.

Maybe a small, small proportion of men aren't like that, but then what woman wants to go out with a ditherer who can't make up their mind or be assertive, or who isn't confident? This is how women get into shit relationships with useless men.

Move on, he's just not that into you. The end.

Agreed. Next

I think you'll waste less time if you just don't play the games. If you want to see him again, ask him. If he is not interested then you will know and can move on

Ask him in a day or two.
If I'm not interested in someone I don't even stay an hour. 5 hours he was there, that's a good sign. Maybe he's playing it cool, doesn't mean he's playing games!

Its true - we have about four or five friends in common though (which is kinda weird as we met on bumble) so he really might just see me as one of them - like friend.

More likely the fact that you have friends in common makes it more awkward. He’s scarcely going to ghost you under those circumstances, in case you badmouth him to your mutual friends, and it makes the “I’m not feeling a spark” conversation tricky because you might meet again socially. That’s why he has just stopped texting, in my opinion.

That’s all the more reason not to chase after him, by the way.

yes i get where he is coming from - poor guy; I am a very unawkward person though so I would rather know if he seen me as a friend or potential loverrrr

he has ghosted me if I havent heard from him though 🥲

My husband took a WEEK to get back in touch after our first date, though he did kiss me.
But I had learned in the dozen guys I met before him to not do the chasing - it never went well. If they're interested they will get in touch. But give the guy more than 24 hours.

Excatly leave him to it
i suppose my text to him yesterday was more to let him know i got home ok (1 hour drive)
he did message a few questions and loads of pictures he just didnt get back to me after the cheese plant one 🍃🍃🍃

Were you not dyingggg after a week!!! Thr patience woman!!!!!

I eould have had four mumsnet threads going by then 😂😂🥲😂🥲

I often used to tell myself if I had to ask the question then that probably revealed the answer. He's not that into you op and unfortunately your definition of ghosting is unlikely to be his. Going on a date or two and then following up is very very common in old line dating. Just means there's no interest.

Preserve your dignity and move on

You sound a bit intense after one date. Maybe he doesn't want a second date or maybe he does but doesn't want to come across too keen.

You could always ask him out too?'

Hes dated loads in london too so probably has a lot more expierence

He messaged asking me out again for when I get back from surfing school next week

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

There you go OP! Have fun x

Kinda wants to make me say I told you so to the idiot with the superpowers. How dare a man ask someone out on another date the very next day after they’d already had a date 🙄
Anyway, good news and good luck to you op x

You just needed to let him Branch out 🪴

After one date I was sent repeated messages about Arsenal. I inferred the guy saw me as one of the lads and I let it lie.

I love these will he/won’t he threads!! So glad the cheese plant didn’t put him off . I like the sound of you. Please update us on the next date.

Tbh I did think I was heading for a ghost situation it was getting tense but with friends in common I just think he would have to say something. He wants to facetime me tonight also so I can meet his cat. 🤣

will keep you all updated!! I am heading away this week for 2 weeks so wont see him for a little while anyway