Do I still leave this bloke a thank you present for having me??

[Animalism]

Regular poster, NC! A very new man invited me to spend the weekend (he lives somewhere nice). I knew him a bit previously for a while through work so was happy to go.

Had a good time, did my own thing a lot as he was in work part of the time so not too full on. He's working today, early start so I won't see him.

I was planning to leave him a present and note to say thanks for having me. He's been generous and paid for my ticket as a bit of an impromptu surprise.

However, last night in bed he snapped at me for something that genuinely didn't deserve it. I decided to sleep in the spare room. I didn't make a scene but don't feel comfortable sharing a bed with someone I don't know well who has just told me off like a kid (he didn't shout or anything was just very shitty).

I won't be seeing him again, he turned out to be a monologuer and talked over me a lot, didn't seem interested in anything I had to say. Was dismissive about several points I did make.

He's paid for maybe 4 or 5 meals, he insisted, plus my ticket. He's well off so this won't have left him skint.

What would be the right/ polite thing to do here, should I still leave him something to say thanks/ send a text? I promise that the thing he had a go about didn't justify snapping.

Did you have sex with him after he snapped at you? You said sex didn't happen the first night and you were there for a weekend.
I personally could doze off very quickly. One minute I'm chatting and then I've drifted.

Hearing a noise can make me cranky and I might say something out of irritation but not really mean it. It's almost painful being jilted like that when you're about to drop off. I think he was very generous and paid for far too much.

You said you offered but I would have been more insistent and forthcoming, for example choosing and paying for somethings before he gets a chance to.

He probably didn't apologize because he saw this as minor and didn't want to make a big deal of it. If I had a bloke so nice and generous to me and then at night was annoyed at some noise I made I would've let it go.

It's very hard finding a decent guy. Everyone gets annoyed and snippy at times. Abuse is serious and inexcusable but I wouldn't have discounted him on this.

Sorry I meant jolted not jilted!

Sex was before. It was a long weekend.

I hear you and understand he was tired.

He wasn't abusive but went further than I was willing to accept at such an early stage without an acknowledgement from him to restore good humour between us.

That plus his other behaviour.

I have no ill feeling but came away confident that I wouldn't be happy with him. I think he is extremely wrapped up in work and treated me like a sloppy junior rather than a potential girlfriend.

I don't think the toilet door thing had pervy intentions. Hardly the way to ask if so!

Thanks DFOD you should write a book on this! xx

@Animalism perfectly viewed and handled. This is right at the start, the time where he is on his absolute BEST behaviour, imagine how he'd talk to you 5 years down the line

Bloody hell, this is one of the nastier comments I've seen on here. What a foul attitude.

What a nasty comment. OP had a consensual encounter with a newish man and she was optimistic about the relationship's potential. She said she wanted and enjoyed the encounter. In no way is this "trading sex for a weekend getaway with a near-stranger" - your nasty phrase implies the woman didn't want sex but considered putting out a fair price to pay for the weekend away. How ridiculous. If she fancied him and wanted to have sex, good for her. It's a shame he revealed himself as a grump afterwards. This could happen after 6 hours, 6 days, 6 weeks or 6 months. It's not falling into your arbitrary definition of an acceptable courtship period that defines whether sex is "traded" or not - it's whether the woman actually wanted sex.