Husband wants more sex..I'm just too shattered! AIBU?

[GreenSippyCup77]

Title says it all really! My DH has complained that we don't have enough sex. I try to make sure we do it once a week, but more recently its more like once a fortnight. I understand where he's coming from as I'm embarrassed that this doesn't sound like much for a couple in their 30's. However I have zero libido at the moment as I'm just permanently exhausted! I'm a SAHM to our wonderful 17 month old DS who is currently going through quite a rough patch with sleep (think it's the dreaded molars). He's up 2-3 times a night and will only settle back to sleep on me, which can take 1-2 hours before he's back in his cot and I'm back in bed. I'm probably averaging 4-5 hours broken sleep a night which for someone who pre kids needed at least 8 hours a night, it's a killer! So understandably, sleep is very precious to me right now and sex is the last thing on my mind. DH just doesn't seem to understand this. Last night for example, I get back into bed at 4am, ready to make the most of the 2 hours before DS is up for the day. DH decides this is a good time to initiate some sexy time, then gets in a massive mood when I'm not up for it. He's still not really talking to me properly this evening! He seems to think it means I don't find him attractive or that I don't love him anymore which is far from the truth. I know in my head that our sex life will improve once DS starts sleeping a bit better again and I'm not so knackered, but I'm worried it's starting to affect our relationship now. Just wanted to get some opinions - AIBU? Should I be trying harder to fulfill my DH's needs at the expense of my own need for sleep? How can I explain to my DH without him getting the hump and taking it all so personally?

She's exhausted, he's not. From that alone I think it is pretty clear who is doing the hardest work over the most hours.
Women often don't want to shag men who don't make them feel sexy.
Doesn't sound like he's done anything sexy for her.
At all.
For some time now.
Just manky.
Shit behaviour.
He is thinking just being an ATM is OK. It Is not.
He needs to property pull his weight.
He should be able to let her have a good sleep, encourage her back into work, be a decent, sexy, caring, loving partner.
If he can't or won't, have a really good think OP. Your life may well be better without him.

How can I explain to my DH without him getting the hump and taking it all so personally?

Have your DH do night wakings for the next week

@AntonHeck
When people enter into an exclusive relationship they both agree to go out of their comfort zone to fulfil the needs of their OH. While nobody is saying you need to do it twice a day regardless of how you feel, doing it fortnightly is the other extreme and seems far too little.

If you expect him to keep his end of the bargain and remain exclusive, you have to keep yours and make an effort. This is only fair.

While no one is saying OP’s DH should get up during the night every single night, and get as little sleep as she does, he should be ensuring that she gets to sleep all night long at least half the time.

If her DH expects him to stay with him, he should keep up the bargain he made when he took on the responsibility of marriage and children and his promise to love and to cherish his wife, to go out of his comfort zone, do night wakings while his wife sleeps, and be a bit more patient until life with a teething toddler gets easier.

That is if he expects her to stay with him. That’s only fair.

Is anyone up for sex at 4am?

husband gets rejected multiple times, usually for no major reason

@HeadOnShoulders Not being in the mood for sex is reason enough to not have it in and of itself.

Who gives a fuck if he gets the hump, he needs to get up with the baby. This is not good enough from him, why are you expending energy on thinking about his feelings when he has clearly expended absolutely none thinking about how you may be feeling. Would you expect him to stay up with the baby then be up for a shag at 4am?

Fair enough but let's be honest, there usually IS a reason.

She's doing everything with the kids and is shattered whether she works or not.
There are no kids and he still doesn't pull his weight.
He thinks foreplay is squeezing her arse whilst she's washing up after dinner.
He might pull his weight but has no emotional intelligence.
The sex is shit.
She's has medical issues.
The only time he's affectionate is when he wants sex.
Etc

Because actually lots of women DO like sex. Good sex, anyway. So if your wife is constantly saying no, instead of assuming it's just to be awkward, perhaps the men should be looking at why.