Would you want to be told by an unknown person if your husband was cheating on you?

[Anonladyx]

It’s a very long story and can’t post too much on here without spilling out a lot of information, but would you want to know?

If I'd anyway find out eventually, then the earlier I know the better. But if I might never find out, and the marriage continues happily, ignorance is bliss.

If you are going to drop that bombshell on a stranger, you better have cast iron proof.

I would 100% want to know.

Yes 100%

Yes, I'd want to know. I don't care who tells me, I just want the truth.

I would want to know.

To the person who wants to tell me, they have to decide if they are being helpful or plain malicious, as they have to live with what they did/are about to do

hey girly, ABSOBLUTLY

Please don't do it anonymously.

If you tell, you need to be 100% sure and have proof and be willing to give details.

I would yes. But why is this your business when it's simply a colleague at work 😮

Theres a reason people tell a cheated on spouse from an anonymous account. So often the spouse will take your name to the cheater to ask about it and the cheater can then turn around and try to wreck you. This happened to me and it was bad. Police intervention bad.

Yes.

I would mind my own business

Yes I'd want to know. This wife could be making serious life decisions not knowing the truth of her world. Decisions around having children, finances, that she wouldn't make if she knew. The affair couple are putting her sexual health at risk, stealing her personal agency. I would def want to know!

If you’re going to be instrumental in destroying someone’s marriage then you need to own it.

I have no time for people who decide to do this anonymously. It’s gutless and absolves them of responsibility.

And for the people who say that it’s the cheater who is destroying the marriage, the anonymous busy body knows absolutely nothing about this marriage, nothing about the person they’re telling, nothing about what might happen afterwards. And as the person who drops the bombshell then walks away they’re not there to support the person afterwards.

So in essence, if you’re not going to own it then stay out of it.

Personally I think that most people who tell anonymously are either the OW/OM or they’re jealous that they’re not.

As long as t

@SabbyD exactly this! I received an anonymous message with enough detail to know they knew my husband as a work colleague but not enough actual detail that I felt I knew the truth. They sent me links to 'how to know your husband is cheating on you' articles and made statements such as they've been seen together in local town by other people.
They did it twice and the second time was completely unbelievable as they made claims of him spending days out with her (and supposedly his little girl) during lockdown whilst we were living an hour away with my parents renovating a house, we spent every single minute today at that point

I said to the anonymous person at this point, please don't contact me again unless you have proof.
I would really actually appreciate someone telling me but for fuck sake please have some proof (or at least don't be vague).

Sorry i posted too soon

I was told anonymously and not in a nice way. So there are certainly 'ways' in which you can be told.

i was told by the OW pretending to be someone else but her purpose was to cause as much pain as possible (probably to my DH but through me)

so yes glad i got to know 100%. But it was a particularly distressing time made all the worst by the way in which i was told x

Yes.
Especially if he were likely to have DC with the unsuspecting woman.

Agree with this.

Just telling someone that their partner/husband is cheating on them is no help at all. Some details need to be provided too. Knowledge is power.

@AlternativePerspective No. It can be dangerous to give your name as I mentioned above. If you're telling the spouse genuinely without ulterior motive except to let them know then in no way should anyone compromise their own safety. Cheaters stand to lose a lot and can turn badly on the messenger.

I wish someone had told me. I spent a long painful year being gaslighted, sank into a depression and lost my will to live. I genuinely felt like I was in the wrong for suspecting him.

It all came out in the end but it would have been so much better to have my suspicions confirmed early on.

I was in a similar position and seriously considered writing the wife a letter (husband was using prostitutes in the home when she was away). I didn’t in the end and they are now divorced. Never met her but, glad she is rid of him without my involvement.

I just don’t understand those saying yes if they have solid proof. The posters must know there is absolutely no way anyone other than the other woman could have proof, unless they are photographing them or hacking their phone. Why not just say no. I don’t want to know then.

So it’s ok to put the wife in danger just as long as you’re alright? Okayyyy.