I want regular sex but not a relationship

[ButteredStrumpetWithJam]

I'm in my 50s and have realised I just don't have the headspace or time for a relationship, but I'm really missing sex and flirty male company. My ideal scenario would be a hot man who is on the other end of the phone to come round when I call for sex, do some chores, fuck me, feed me, then fuck off and leave me alone until the next time I call him for sex.

Seriously though, I'd love to meet up once a week maybe once a fortnight, they can cut the grass (or another job I hate), have something to eat (that they buy or prepare), have sex, and if they don't snore they can sleep over. Maybe sex in the morning then they leave. I've had this FWB scenario 3 times in my life and it worked well for me, but these were years ago and I feel out of touch with how to find one of these men now.

What's the most stress-free way of finding someone for this? Do I just go onto an OLD site and state what I'm looking for? I'm a bit concerned about my age making me "invisible" TBH, and I don't want someone married as I don't want to facilitate cheating, so any ideas please?

How well it works will depend purely on how good looking the OP is. If she's gorgeous, they'll be all over it. If she's average, then she'll get some interest, but the quality will be lower.

It's called Ashley Madison 😀

Love your style, OP.

I’m 32 and seek practically the same as you. I’ve had some success on the app Pure but be warned: some of the adverts will make your hair curl!

Geez, well it'd be a "pass" from me and I'm someone who'd describe his looks as being (putting it politely) "unconventional". So how many honest-to-God "hot" guys you'd get beating your way to your door, I don't know. I mean, hot guys like that are going to be inundated with offers themselves. They can probably choose to be picky (or shag everyone once, like a kid in a sweet shop, and then move on to the next conquest).

Loving this thread. I feel the same OP but don't have a lawn or want him doing chores besides cleaning up his own mess while at mine.

My bio on tinder is "if a man islooking forward to the menopause, which will hopefully kill off my desire for sex.an't feeding me, fucking me, or financing me, I'm probably not interested".
Love it!

looking forward to the menopause, which will hopefully kill off my desire for sex.
It hasn't mine..... (and not on HRT)

Tend to agree with this ^^ most “hot” guys can pretty much get sex whenever they want with today’s hookup culture, few are going to trade sex for domestic chores, or a pizza and a beer,.

I'd get a tradesperson to do the chores once a month or whatever which would increase the FWB pool

@PeekAtYou Although I love a tradesman they’re a bugger to pin down (metaphorically), and those who turn up and are vaguely attractive are married. Besides, any tradesman who actually does do work for me is so valuable that I'm not going to risk that working relationship by potentially embarrassing myself propositioning them.

@TossCointoYerWitcher when I say “hot” it may not be what people imagine. The “hottest” man I know is my plummer. He’s physically fit looking without being a gym bunny (I’m not into 6 packs), got a weather-beaten face, a twinkle in his eye, is a nice bloke, and is in his 50s. If he wasn’t married I’d be on a charm offensive with him.
If a man has a twinkle in his eye, can make me laugh, and isn't overweight, he's pretty high on my hottness scale straight away. Male models, gym bunnies, "gorgeous" men generally leave me cold

physically fit looking without being a gym bunny (I’m not into 6 packs), got a weather-beaten face, a twinkle in his eye, is a nice bloke, and is in his 50s. If he wasn’t married I’d be on a charm offensive with him.
If a man has a twinkle in his eye, can make me laugh, and isn't overweight, he's pretty high on my hottness scale straight away. Male models, gym bunnies, "gorgeous" men generally leave me cold

lol, ^ that’s me your taking about 😂😂, 50’s physical fit(ish), tall (ish) I would describe myself as “Luke warm” rather than hot, and I don’t mind mowing an lawn to within an inch of its life….

I’ve found the best way to get regular no-strings sex is to have a few FWBs. That way none of them call too frequently and therefore you don’t get sick of them. I have just acquired my 4th 😁

one of them stays a full weekend when he’s here, as he lives too far away to do a day trip, and he often does little handyman type jobs for me but the others just bring glorious sex!

😂watchout lawn! 😄

Sounds ideal @sammylady37 😊

My last few fwb were actually one night stands that turned into something more long running. I think our idea of fwb differs somewhat though, as for me, having them hanging around to help in the house or eat dinner turns it into a semi relationship. As soon as one of the fwb starts looking like they are getting comfortable, I end it, I've got no interest in any of that and having someone pottering around my house would definitely be fake relationship territory. I don't encourage food or sleepovers.

I don't know on what planet you think hot guys have access to limitless sex. I can only assume you don't know many, or you believe some tall tales from those you do. As far as sex without strings is concerned, there are far fewer women up for it than men, and nowhere near enough to go round. Pubs and clubs are full of hot men working very hard to get sex, and in the majority of cases going home alone.

Just risk it and go online on fabswingers or similar

I can guarantee there will be interest and probably plenty of men in 20s and 30s who would be interested in ladies your age if that's something that appeals

I think a chore in exchange for a shag would be seen as a good deal but could imagine some would not want to cook for you on top as well

@Imsittinginthekitchensink because the terminology (fuck buddy, FWB, booty call, relationship, "just want fun" etc) is rather subjective and can be interpreted differently by people, it's important to clarify isn't it. So I'd be up front about what I'm looking for so there's no misunderstandings. I'm not after a booty call (what I see as an unashamed turn up, fuck, leave immediately situation) but a FRIENDS with benefits, and as friends I want to like them enough that it's not just about sex. However, that doesn't mean exclusivity/monogamy, or expectations of developing into more, just sex with people I consider friends and like the company of too.

I think a chore in exchange for a shag would be seen as a good deal but could imagine some would not want to cook for you on top as well

@LampLighter414 a chore and food would be the best case scenario, but I'm open to negotiation. Besides, if you don't ask you definitely don't get 😉

I’m not sure what planet you are on if you think otherwise?,

I’m not talking about me, I’m middle aged, but young fit men, yes,

Exactly this.

This place is so backwards it's a joke. Absolutely nothing to do with power imbalance. 'Calling' for sex, to 'fuck' you (boak) and do chores and the fact the OP thinks just because there's a power imbalance that makes it okay.

Cringeeeee

A planet inhabited by a fair few good looking men! My sons, my young male colleagues, my younger DP and his mates. Not to mention my own lived experience. I'm attractive, but not young enough to be a hot man's dream; yet enough of them resort to trying to pull me for me to know they're not inundated with opportunities!

Surely there must be an outsourcing arrangement for things like this. I am in a wonderful relationship with a gorgeous man and can’t be arsed with sex most of the time. I’ll keep the relationship and outsource the sex part.

Although, I don’t actually think DH would go for this, sadly…

Can't you just find a FWB, hire a gardener and order takeaway?

5128gap will have to disagree with you then , I don’t visit this forum very often , but there are always threads along these lines of this one with ppl looking for sex without relationships, so the demand is clearly there, and the advice is (almost always) the same, find a hot young man.
also there almost always seems threads despairing about the quality of men on OLD, which raises the question where are all the “good hot” men ?, either married or having a good time , if you look at the collapse in marriage numbers across the western world, men are not getting married, if you look how badly boys and young men are doing in education compared to girls and young women it would suggest that lack of hot, well educated men,, so those that are available will their choice of female partners.

I see this disparity at work now, the majority of grads are talented young females, the majority of ppl on management fast track are young females, I don’t what the young men doing, probably playing Xbox and working in McDonalds.

i believe that the parent of any boys needs to encourage them to study hard and learn as much as possible, as those that do well will be in demand

The availability of hot men for relationships is entirely different from the availability of hot men for sex though.
I agree that men that women might consider relationship material appear to be rarer. But that's because for a life partner, women require a great deal more from a man than merely being hot.
Women wanting no strings sex (and a few threads on MN should not be taken as reflective that they are as numerous as men wanting the same) are typically not going to be bothered about a man's career prospects, financial security, how many A levels he has, whether he would make a good father. Even some of his less desirable character traits will be tolerable in a purely physical relationship.
Basically if all a man is required to do is show up with energy and enthusiasm, and be easy on the eye, well, they're a dime a dozen, particularly in the 20s/30s bracket.
Meanwhile, a woman who is happy to have regular sex with zero other expectations is a rare find indeed.

You absolutely will find men who are happy with this sort of arrangement, although he mows lawn while you cook would be a more equitable set up which would actually, IME, help you set bedroom boundaries. It's easier to state your wants/needs sexually if you're not worrying about "yes, but he did take my bin out..."

Your age is not a barrier and I wouldn't focus too much on their age either - but be prepared to audition a lot of them. Far too many men who think they're good at sex and can't take direction. Or think having a large cock = good in bed.

I think this arrangement is realistic.

You admit love been hurt by men. Having a man fuck you and fuck off probably won't make you feel great, regardless of whether you fancy him back.

Your probably not going to get someone who's willing to do chores, and then just fuck off afterwards unless they have extremely low self esteem- in which case they probably won't be very attractive.

Even for an FWB, someone leaving straight after sex never made me feel good. Maybe your different, hey ho.