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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ghosted

90 replies

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 18:51

Hello everyone

Been seeing someone about a year and a half. Wasn't the best relationship, was always put second best, to his friends.

Was ignored last week for a few days but he got in touch, texting was a bit hitty missy, but wasn't bothered.

Now I have been blocked on facebook, no messages answered, to be fair I haven't messages since Monday,

I have been completely ghosted by a 41 year old male. I probably know he has someone else, but god it hurts, my head is just thinking "wtf"

He once ghosted me for a few weeks but I was stupid enough to go back, but I was never blocked.

Has this happened to anyone before?

Nice answers only please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 19/05/2022 21:46

YorkshireTea72 · 19/05/2022 20:21

I think women really fall in love and are more emotionally connected in a relationship than men are - hence why, in situations like this, the woman gets hurt, badly.

How are you feeling today?

Much better today, if I keep myself busy it's better! Was more shock yesterday!

Thank you all so much x

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 19/05/2022 21:47

It'll get easier as each day goes by Flowers

Hairbear2 · 19/05/2022 21:59

Sounds like my ex. I always came bottom of his priorities. As soon as I’d end it he’d come crawling back a few weeks later saying all the right things. He ghosted me (for a week) a year ago, I was devastated. Somehow saw the best in him, took him back. Too much game playing. Life’s too short, I’m well shot of him, you will start to care less about the reason and realise life’s easier without these dramas.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 20/05/2022 08:42

Yeah I am starting to think that already! Thank you all again xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 20/05/2022 20:04

Thank you all again for your support xx

OP posts:
Shirl2022 · 20/05/2022 22:07

very good advice on here listen to it as i have
get rid hold your head up 😘

Original poster
Oscarbin · 21/05/2022 20:49

Yeah really good advice! Things are getting a bit better, my head is still filled with "what ifs?" "Why?"

It's traumatic

OP posts:
SophSoSo · 21/05/2022 22:49

Oscarbin · 21/05/2022 20:49

Yeah really good advice! Things are getting a bit better, my head is still filled with "what ifs?" "Why?"

It's traumatic

It is traumatic. It’s like they died, and I say that as someone who suffered an extremely traumatic bereavement.

The good news is it gets better, you get your own closure. A decent person wouldn’t do this, the fault is with him not you and that’s really all you need to know.

4 weeks in for me and I’m actually ok now!

mumieone · 22/05/2022 00:32

Possibly someone else visiting for a few days. These type of men block you so they can tell the other woman they are not chatting to anyone. It's to make sure while he is playing nice guy with his phone on the table while they are cuddling that no sweet messages from you POP up and mess up his game.

If you ever doubt just look at Thier blocked list....tells quite a story!

DrBrennerFan · 22/05/2022 00:40

Thousand hugs for you hand hold..

Original poster
Oscarbin · 22/05/2022 07:55

I actually have a date next week! Nothing really in it, just a few day drinks and this crazy golf thing with a bloke I went to school with 😳

OP posts:
Charliec12 · 22/05/2022 09:16

I am going through similar from a 41 year old man. It is so childish we have been close for 9 months but he is obsessed with his ex and she has become single in the last few days so I think it is something to do with that. Also he got angry with me last Monday and hasn’t spoken to me since and he still owes me £50 🙄 He has got issues though so I am putting it all down to that and also that I don’t want to be in a 3 way relationship. You can do much better than this guy this isn’t normal behaviour. Just leave him alone and let him miss your presence and move on :) I think if we keep messaging these ghosters they like it as it gives them a power boost

Lovemusic33 · 22/05/2022 09:21

This happened to me over Christmas although it wasn’t really a serious relationship, more casual but it had been going on a long time, suddenly got blocked on Facebook and WhatsApp, no explanation 😬. Although it wasn’t a serious relationship it still messed with my head, not know what had happened, if I had done something wrong or if he had found someone else. I now don’t waste my energy thinking about it, the issues was obviously his and not mine and at the end of the day I probably had a lucky escape.

andtheycalledthewindmoriah · 22/05/2022 09:28

Yes, it's happened to lots of people. It's closure in itself. He's said to you 'leave me alone. I'm a twat, you can do better'

Take that, thank him in your head, and move on.

Charliec12 · 22/05/2022 09:33

mumieone · 22/05/2022 00:32

Possibly someone else visiting for a few days. These type of men block you so they can tell the other woman they are not chatting to anyone. It's to make sure while he is playing nice guy with his phone on the table while they are cuddling that no sweet messages from you POP up and mess up his game.

If you ever doubt just look at Thier blocked list....tells quite a story!

How can you look at someone’s blocked list? I can only see my own on facebook

Original poster
Oscarbin · 23/05/2022 18:39

I actually feel guilty for having a drink with someone 🙄

OP posts:
Rubyroseyposey · 23/05/2022 18:42

I know it hurts, but please dont second guess yourself on this waste of space. Onwards and upwards.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 23/05/2022 19:14

I know thank you @rosieposie trying hard x

OP posts:
Charliec12 · 23/05/2022 22:05

How are you feeling today? It is hard I agree but I also think ghosters love all of the attention we give them when trying to contact them. For example my ex he could see all of my messages on messenger but choose to keep ignoring me. Some men don’t have the balls to say something is not working 🙄

Backtoblack1 · 23/05/2022 22:15

Block him back! He sounds like an absolute arse and you shouldn’t waste time on someone like this.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 26/05/2022 23:10

Hey sorry for the late reply. I did block him back. Hope I start to feel better soon x

OP posts:
DrBrennerFan · 27/05/2022 01:34

Oscarbin · 26/05/2022 23:10

Hey sorry for the late reply. I did block him back. Hope I start to feel better soon x

You will hugs I’ve had two weeks of being Poorly as well and that business but now it’s my time you’ll get there.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 27/05/2022 22:39

You lot have been so lovely!

Thank you so much xx

OP posts:
allboysherebutme · 27/05/2022 22:45

Personality disorder. X

Redglitter · 27/05/2022 22:46

I was ghosted by my partner of 12 YEARS - we didn't live together, stayed about 90 mins away from each other- it was awful. Apart from being blindsided by it I felt cheated out of my chance to say some things & get proper closure. Like you I don't know how someone can do that to another person. It's horrible

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