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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ghosted

90 replies

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 18:51

Hello everyone

Been seeing someone about a year and a half. Wasn't the best relationship, was always put second best, to his friends.

Was ignored last week for a few days but he got in touch, texting was a bit hitty missy, but wasn't bothered.

Now I have been blocked on facebook, no messages answered, to be fair I haven't messages since Monday,

I have been completely ghosted by a 41 year old male. I probably know he has someone else, but god it hurts, my head is just thinking "wtf"

He once ghosted me for a few weeks but I was stupid enough to go back, but I was never blocked.

Has this happened to anyone before?

Nice answers only please?

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 18:55

He sounds like a prick. Don't take him back - you deserve better. For you to have a 'relationship' with this man for over a year and only to be treated like that is shocking.
You've had a lucky escape.

seensome · 18/05/2022 18:57

It's for best, he's done you favour, don't put up with being second best, you've given him a chance and he's off again.
I wouldn't be surprised that he'll be back at some point, just completely ignore him.

SophSoSo · 18/05/2022 18:58

He is a prick.

Please block him everywhere because he WILL come back. Don’t go there again, just don’t. I’ve had a year of this shit, mine blocked me and ghosted me again four weeks ago - this is the longest he’s ever done it for, but even if he did come back I’m done.

Please, please block him. It’s cruel and it hurts but it says everything about him and nothing about you x

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:06

Is it because there is someone else?

Have I done anything wrong?

It's mad I would never treat anyone like that?

I am done with men

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 19:08

Probably. Sounds like he has someone else. I'd never treat anyone like that either but there are plenty out there who would.
Block him. Hard as it will be for you to do but you must. He's a waste of space!

SophSoSo · 18/05/2022 19:09

No you haven’t done anything wrong.

There is possibly someone else - let her have him if so, he’s no prize is he?

Thats because you’re a decent human being.

Its disgusting, cowardly, hurtful behaviour but it’s on HIM, not you. I’m four weeks in after being blocked and ghosted again in a two year relationship. I’m just starting to feel stronger, and part of that is I’ve blocked him back and I’m not watching what he’s doing online.

Dont accept this behaviour x

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:11

Thank you for that! I think I am in shock that I can't believe that people do this.

I am so tired and drained, I've had a bad head all day urghhh

OP posts:
doitwithlove · 18/05/2022 19:13

As hard as it is @Oscarbin please try not to over analyse the situation. You have done nothing wrong .... The bloke is obviously an absolute idiot

MEN 🤬

YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 19:16
Flowers
Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:22

I was only ever nice.

He doesn't like be far away either which makes it hard also.

I am scared to go on a dating site incase I see him there. That happened the last time and he reeled me in

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 19:24

What do you mean he reeled you in? What was he doing on a dating site anyway?

Inthesameboatatmo · 18/05/2022 19:28

You've done absolutely nothing wrong op. Hes shown you who he is and before he comes crawling back block and delete. Then try to move on .

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:34

YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 19:24

What do you mean he reeled you in? What was he doing on a dating site anyway?

No no

He has done it once before. I blocked him on everything, he seen me on a dating site and that's how we started chatting again.

OP posts:
Onwards22 · 18/05/2022 19:37

Wasn't the best relationship, was always put second best, to his friends.

It sounds like he just wanted you for sex tbh.

You’ve dodged a bullet.

How did he reel you in last time?
Can you block him on everything so he can’t get in touch?

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:39

Yeah I think that about the sex too

Yeah he's blocked now on everything

OP posts:
PissedOffNeighbour22 · 18/05/2022 19:46

Yep, happened to me a few years ago. He also put me second to his friends (and a LOT of drinking with them).
He used to go hot and cold with me, then just stop contacting me and his only excuse was that I was stressing him out by asking him if he was ok when he'd disappear for days at a time.

I don't think he had anyone else on the side, but I caught him messaging other women. He turned out to be an even bigger prick than I thought. I got pregnant and he was absolutely vile to me. He didn't give a toss I had to go through a termination either.

Honestly, don't give him the time of day ever again. My ex used to reel me back in everytime we broke up and I should have called it a day the first time we split up.

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:50

Oh god I am so sorry to hear that. I must be so naive to think that people didn't do this.

Honestly it's brutal

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 19:53

Where did you meet him in the first place?

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 19:57

I knew him through mutual friends

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 19:59

Ahh, ok.

So sorry he has done this to you. Hopefully, Karma will prevail!

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 20:01

I am so sick, at least I won't be worrying when he goes missing on his sessions

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 20:02

It'll take time to heal but be good to yourself. Do stuff that you like doing. You'll find someone else one day.

Oscarbin · 18/05/2022 20:03

Thank you @YorkshireTea72

My head is just a mess at the moment

OP posts:
YorkshireTea72 · 18/05/2022 20:03

Big hugs Flowers

Onwards22 · 18/05/2022 20:12

It’s always hard at first but I promise you if you stay strong you’ll wake up from his spell and look back and wonder why you wasted so much energy on him.

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