Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4

Relationships

Best response or just block?

98 replies

RosaMoline · 17/05/2022 15:01

Hi all,
bit of background- almost three years ago j met this bloke on a notorious dating site. We met up, and hit it off straightaway. There was an instant attraction & chemistry (or so I thought)
he told me that he’d recently broken up with someone. I just didn’t realise how recent - it had literally been two weeks before, so effectively I was the rebound.
He immediately love bombed me, wanting to see me all the time, go on holiday together, I met his mum and brother. I am a hopeless romantic & was absolutely thrilled and swept off my feet. He was effusive with his compliments and gave me flowers, wined and dined me, lovely days out.
For context, at the time, I was 52 and he was 57. No spring chickens. I really, really liked him. A lot.
He was constantly leaving gushing updates on his Facebook page about his gorgeous new GF.
Six weeks later, one morning he sent me his usual ‘hello gorgeous xx’ text. A few hours went by, he called me & was really cold. He’d literally done a 180 in a matter of hours. It was over, because he wasn’t developing feelings for me & he thought he should have by then. Although it had only been six weeks I was completely blindsided by this. Came from nowhere. I was really upset.
He ended it in person, 2 days later.
I did a bit of social media stalking and it was obvious he was back with the original woman. He wanted to make her jealous - he left his Facebook page open, so she could see his comments about me. It worked & She took the bait. Upon this discovery (there was no doubt. The evidence was overwhelming) I tried to confront him for using me so despicably. His reaction was to block me as he didn’t want to face the truth.
As I said, that was almost three years ago. I got over it, but I’m not proud to admit I social media stalked from time to time out of curiosity. It looked like they moved in together.
I know I shouldn’t be checking, but a few days ago I noticed that he’s cropped her out of his profile pic on Facebook. And selling a load of furniture that looks new.
Lo and behold, this morning I receive this message from him on WhatsApp:

‘Rosa. I’ve been thinking about contacting you for a while now. I’m really sorry about the way I treated you and have no excuses. You can just ignore me and that’s fine. I do think about our time together and wonder how you are ?

I just want to say sorry and I hope you are well.’

Ugh. I always knew this would happen. He’s such a shallow needy twat, who cannot be without someone, so he’s clearly testing the water. I’ve done a lot of work
on myself and boundaries since he did that to me, so I’ve no intention of seeing him. It’s clearly gone tits up with her (again) hence the selling of stuff and the profile pic.
I know that 99% of MN will say, block and delete, but I’m dying to fire off an absolute zinger and tell him exactly what I think of him. If I do reply, I’m going up leave it at least 24 hours. Is it ever justified to have the last word do you think?
Sorry this is so long!
Thank you all in advance xx

OP posts:

Report

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/05/2022 15:03

“Who is this?” - and then block!