Best response or just block?

[RosaMoline]

Hi all,
bit of background- almost three years ago j met this bloke on a notorious dating site. We met up, and hit it off straightaway. There was an instant attraction & chemistry (or so I thought)
he told me that he’d recently broken up with someone. I just didn’t realise how recent - it had literally been two weeks before, so effectively I was the rebound.
He immediately love bombed me, wanting to see me all the time, go on holiday together, I met his mum and brother. I am a hopeless romantic & was absolutely thrilled and swept off my feet. He was effusive with his compliments and gave me flowers, wined and dined me, lovely days out.
For context, at the time, I was 52 and he was 57. No spring chickens. I really, really liked him. A lot.
He was constantly leaving gushing updates on his Facebook page about his gorgeous new GF.
Six weeks later, one morning he sent me his usual ‘hello gorgeous xx’ text. A few hours went by, he called me & was really cold. He’d literally done a 180 in a matter of hours. It was over, because he wasn’t developing feelings for me & he thought he should have by then. Although it had only been six weeks I was completely blindsided by this. Came from nowhere. I was really upset.
He ended it in person, 2 days later.
I did a bit of social media stalking and it was obvious he was back with the original woman. He wanted to make her jealous - he left his Facebook page open, so she could see his comments about me. It worked & She took the bait. Upon this discovery (there was no doubt. The evidence was overwhelming) I tried to confront him for using me so despicably. His reaction was to block me as he didn’t want to face the truth.
As I said, that was almost three years ago. I got over it, but I’m not proud to admit I social media stalked from time to time out of curiosity. It looked like they moved in together.
I know I shouldn’t be checking, but a few days ago I noticed that he’s cropped her out of his profile pic on Facebook. And selling a load of furniture that looks new.
Lo and behold, this morning I receive this message from him on WhatsApp:

‘Rosa. I’ve been thinking about contacting you for a while now. I’m really sorry about the way I treated you and have no excuses. You can just ignore me and that’s fine. I do think about our time together and wonder how you are ?

I just want to say sorry and I hope you are well.’

Ugh. I always knew this would happen. He’s such a shallow needy twat, who cannot be without someone, so he’s clearly testing the water. I’ve done a lot of work
on myself and boundaries since he did that to me, so I’ve no intention of seeing him. It’s clearly gone tits up with her (again) hence the selling of stuff and the profile pic.
I know that 99% of MN will say, block and delete, but I’m dying to fire off an absolute zinger and tell him exactly what I think of him. If I do reply, I’m going up leave it at least 24 hours. Is it ever justified to have the last word do you think?
Sorry this is so long!
Thank you all in advance xx

Leave him on read
Take a selfie with some good looking chap and change your profile picture
Leave it a few days
Then block

Fire off that zinger, then block. Sounds like it would be fun, and cathartic, and if you don't do it, you might regret it later. I have never ever regretted having my say in situations like this, but I've often regretted keeping silent.

I don't understand this radio silence thing, sounds a bit boring. Have your say and enjoy it.

All the best op

He wants to use you AGAIN @RosaMoline either to get back at his ex again or to have a shag whilst he carries on looking. He cannot bear to be alone without anyone so you will 'do' for now.

Don't be desperate and go back, don't even grace him with a reply...why would you lower yourself to reply to that piece of worthless space? Just move on.

He did the idealise, devalue, discard relationship cycle on you, a technique so beloved of narcissists. You were an ideal target for him, you being a hopeless romantic and all that; he read you like a book and used you accordingly.

Radio silence from you needs to be maintained. If you respond that is the "reward" to such types. And why would you want to do so anyway after 3 years?.

Silence is dignity, OP.

Any digs at him tell him that you still give a shit about what he did. Do you want him to think you still care, even though it makes you unpleasant to him? Or would you rather he thinks you don't care at all?

Don't let him see he's touched you.

Brilliant!!!

Nobody else think she should arrange a date with him and then stand him up? And then do it again? Just me then.

This ^^

Any response gives him the impression that you care and he’ll likely send you further messages, because he’ll assume that you still like him enough to respond.

No response sends a bigger message to him than anything you could ever write.

You should obviously ignore him and his message. Delete any SM links. Then try and forget him.

Radio silence. And here’s why. Any response, any at all, will show you care enough to respond. Don’t even be tempted.

He is beneath you now. Keep him there. You are a class act who is treated as such by all. Therefore, he does not occupy the same lofty air as you and those who encircle you with love, admiration, and respect. Proceed accordingly.

@RosaMoline
I had a bloke like this at 37
carbon copy of love bombing and then going ice cold suddenly.

He was just an utter arsehole in retrospect.
He too wanted to re ignite the flanes as he called it.

Bye Felicia!

Don’t even answer.

Men like this will Dump you again, so take your power and ignore the twat.

The thing is he sounds like a narcissist. And he clearly got under your skin for six weeks of intense relationship three years ago.

I know you want to show him you don't care, he's a dick etc. but the chances are he'll reel you in. He has that power over you still.

Just ignore. Or laughing face emoji. Then block straight away. Don't get sucked in

I'd be really childish and go with "nu phone, who dis?"

Whilst I believe that if you really want to say something, then you absolutely should, in this situation I agree with others that indefinite radio silence would make him squirm.
He sounds repulsive.

Absolutely don’t do this

Look at www.narcsite.com to see very good reasons why ignore and block are in your best interests

It is a bad idea. Stop obsessing over him and block. You’ve had the last laugh and I’m sure you can do much better.

Oh, and I have a story to be told. So a friend of sorts was ghosted out of the blue by a man she’d been seeing. He met her kid, stayed over more than he should have, ate plenty whilst at hers and cooked for her (at her expense of course). You can probably tell I was never taken with him but obviously kept out of it.

He ghosted her and it broke her, and I thought the only good thing from the situation was that she was rid of him.

Lo and behold and he reared his head again. Even got his mother to contact her on his behalf. What a coward. I don’t want to say anything outing but either way she ended up taking him back.

What a shitty situation. Do NOT be like her. Do not message him, you might get sucked in and have some more years of your life written off.

Don't block or reply, but be sure to update your profile picture so he knows your account is active and you are just ignoring him.

Exactly this 😂

@DivorcedAndDelighted the radio silence is necessary in these kinds of situations because they are abusive people. The whole thing is just a game to them and it continues as long as there's 2 participants. Other posters are asking the op why she's giving so much thought to a short fling, it's because they get in to your head. Before I had counselling I did the very not boring thing, I've never told anyone what a bastard they are like I did him and yeah it felt great at the time. But he still came back every time and I went round in circles for months. The best thing the op can do is ignore for her own sanity, it's a dangerous personality disorder.

Just say ...

"Hi,

I was very sorry to receive your message as it shows clearly just how desperate you must be for you to resort to breadcrumbing.

I don't need breadcrumbs in my life, so I strongly suggest you send your message to someone else who might give a duck! "

Then block him.

If nothing else you can have a private laugh at the idea he will probably have to Google exactly what breadcrumbing is 😂

Ignore. But he will definitely text you again regardless.

Nothing sends a stronger message than silence.

It drives wankers mad.