Best response or just block?

[RosaMoline]

Hi all,
bit of background- almost three years ago j met this bloke on a notorious dating site. We met up, and hit it off straightaway. There was an instant attraction & chemistry (or so I thought)
he told me that he’d recently broken up with someone. I just didn’t realise how recent - it had literally been two weeks before, so effectively I was the rebound.
He immediately love bombed me, wanting to see me all the time, go on holiday together, I met his mum and brother. I am a hopeless romantic & was absolutely thrilled and swept off my feet. He was effusive with his compliments and gave me flowers, wined and dined me, lovely days out.
For context, at the time, I was 52 and he was 57. No spring chickens. I really, really liked him. A lot.
He was constantly leaving gushing updates on his Facebook page about his gorgeous new GF.
Six weeks later, one morning he sent me his usual ‘hello gorgeous xx’ text. A few hours went by, he called me & was really cold. He’d literally done a 180 in a matter of hours. It was over, because he wasn’t developing feelings for me & he thought he should have by then. Although it had only been six weeks I was completely blindsided by this. Came from nowhere. I was really upset.
He ended it in person, 2 days later.
I did a bit of social media stalking and it was obvious he was back with the original woman. He wanted to make her jealous - he left his Facebook page open, so she could see his comments about me. It worked & She took the bait. Upon this discovery (there was no doubt. The evidence was overwhelming) I tried to confront him for using me so despicably. His reaction was to block me as he didn’t want to face the truth.
As I said, that was almost three years ago. I got over it, but I’m not proud to admit I social media stalked from time to time out of curiosity. It looked like they moved in together.
I know I shouldn’t be checking, but a few days ago I noticed that he’s cropped her out of his profile pic on Facebook. And selling a load of furniture that looks new.
Lo and behold, this morning I receive this message from him on WhatsApp:

‘Rosa. I’ve been thinking about contacting you for a while now. I’m really sorry about the way I treated you and have no excuses. You can just ignore me and that’s fine. I do think about our time together and wonder how you are ?

I just want to say sorry and I hope you are well.’

Ugh. I always knew this would happen. He’s such a shallow needy twat, who cannot be without someone, so he’s clearly testing the water. I’ve done a lot of work
on myself and boundaries since he did that to me, so I’ve no intention of seeing him. It’s clearly gone tits up with her (again) hence the selling of stuff and the profile pic.
I know that 99% of MN will say, block and delete, but I’m dying to fire off an absolute zinger and tell him exactly what I think of him. If I do reply, I’m going up leave it at least 24 hours. Is it ever justified to have the last word do you think?
Sorry this is so long!
Thank you all in advance xx

The opposite of love and hate is indifference.

I’d go with ‘Hi, long time no see. I’m good thanks.’

And keep it neutral. No emotion at all. No snark, no anger, no bitterness. Just…….nothing.

I'd say no response at all or he'll see it as an opening for a conversation, but I'd also be sorely tempted to let him know that you know exactly what his little game is.

Do look up narcsite.com as suggested.

Then do as TunaSalad says. Ignore, update your profile, and leave him dangling.

Sit on your hands if necessary to keep them from touching that keyboard.

Ignore him. It’ll piss him off royally.

Whilst it's sooooo tempting to send him some sort of message, don't... just don't

I'm old and I've learned through life that silence is so so powerful.

What it will do to a man like this is.... he will never know anything. Did the message go through. Did she read it. What does she think. Why oh why hasn't she replied, I'm such a catch. It will drive him mad with not knowing. The uncertainty of why you haven't replied will really get to him.

I’ve had similar recently. I ignore the message and a few hours later I got “so sorry! Wrong person!”

I ignored that too and I know it would have really stung! 😬

I had this some years back. Complete twat. He’ll do the same again to you until some other poor sucker gets taken in by him. Just ignore him.

I’d just say “sorry I think you have the wrong number”.

Agreed, I put myself in his stinky shoes for a moment and this would really bloody hurt. If causing pain is what you’re after, then send these exact words. Then block, obviously.

I agree he's likely sent this msg to a few of you. Do whatever you want, some of those women will ignore him and some won't. But don't expect him to give a shit either way which is why silence would be my choice.

I’d make him grovel and beg, then send the crying laughing emojis, but I’m a twat.

As tempting as it is to message him, it is best to just ignore. I wouldn't block just yet because that shows a reaction. After a few weeks, block him and don't look him up or think about him again.

I would reply.

I'd reply I am really not interested in being used again to make your ex want you back.

Do not contact me again.

Then I'd block him.

Hello lovely mumsnet people.
Update: I thought about it for ages and ages, and decided to send this;

‘Oh this is absolutely priceless! 😂😂😂
It’s all gone tits up with xxxx, so you thought you’d test the waters with me, under the ruse of some kind of pathetic ‘apology’

One word. Karma.
Piss off & kindly do not contact me again.’

He replied;
’no it hasn’t gone tits up, but that’s fine’

then he blocked me, which was really fucking annoying as I wanted to get in there first.

Ah well - onwards and upwards, eh? Thanks again for all your brilliant replies, I’ve really enjoyed reading them ❤️

Oof he’s smarting! Well done op. Time to move on now - you deserve way way waaaay better.

No response IS a response.

Just seen im too late but you could have gone with
Oh its lovely to hear from you I do think of you often xx
Then immediately
Sorry wrong person

Brilliant, well done! You told him not to contact you again, so you got the blocking 'order' in, he just pressed the button to comply 😉

I used to be someone who felt that something more was always needed to be said. As time went on, I discovered that silence IS saying volumes and can be very powerful.

I've two ex's who came sniffing around who remained unread in my inbox. Both of them ghosted me way back in the day so this is just a taste of their own medicine. I literally had nothing to say to them. Even telling them to fuck off would take more energy than I care to expend on them.

This is how you do it 💐

Blocking him is a response - so don't do that.

Just don't reply (ever) and he'll keep waiting and waiting and waiting, checking his phone day in day out and then weekly....see where this is going? He's deserves it.

I've had tears with my friend. She's been "talking to" a guy since August last year. Never met, only ever seen photos and talked on the phone and messenger. Not even zoom. Picked her up and dropped her several times. Always blocking her and coming back.

He's constantly dropped another woman into the conversation and in March told my friend she wouldn't like what he was about to say but Jayne was back on the scene. Said how perfect Jayne is then blocked my friend.

Contacted her again last week "hey I'm back". She's chatting to him again. Thought she'd give him a "right telling off" about how he treats people but he just laughed. He's got the attention he wanted.

She still won't block him because he's interesting she says. I'm baffled.

Ignore this guy and my friend should do the same.

Nope. Not even worthy of a response. Ignore and get on with your life