My husband asked me to change my shorts to leggings because men were in the house working!!!!!

[bananamuffin89]

I was wearing shorts... we had men in the house doing work and my husband asked me if I was changing into leggings??
He said they would be 'looking at my hole'
What the helllllllll!!

I didn't change and we haven't mentioned it.

It's very simple. Her body. Her house. Her choice.

Because it's her body and her choice.

If she wanted to walk around in her underwear then it would still be nobody else's business.

@pedropony76 people are asking if you are from the UK as the OP's husband told her to put on leggings.

Unless you are blind you would realise leggings are tight fitting and highlight women's bums. Some men (and women - depends on who you are attracted to) like looking at women's bums.

In my 20s and 30s before I moved I use to run around the streets where I lived in shorts rather than leggings, as less men looked at and the few gits commented on my bum.

The point is that it's not up to you or the DH to have a view on what the OP is wearing in her own house when it's clearly respectable - sports shorts, as she makes obvious. Your figure is irrelevant to the OP.

It's very simple.
Her body.
Her house.
Her choice.

If it distracts a man that's his issue and shouldn't look.

If he comments or worse touches then that's assault and that's on him.

He may have overheard them talking, op. Men can talk differently amongst them than in front of their spouses. Everyone knows that.

If we had workmen in and my husband overheard them talking about me in a derogatory way he would kick them out the house. He would NOT suggest I change my clothing or behaviour to account for their sleaziness.

So it’s okay to walk around in your underwear when you have strangers in your home?? This literally goes for men and women. Not only strangers, but people that come to offer a professional service. How offensive and unnecessary is that

Yup. Gross.

@Portiasparty as you can see, I was having a conversation with someone else. I went on to explain my own figure but there was some confusion as to why I understood the OPs husband point, hence why I explained it further.

Where did I have a view on what the OP was wearing? I clearly said she was comfortable in what she was wearing and the problem clearly lies with her DH suggesting otherwise

Anyway I have a baby in NICU. I really can’t spend time arguing back and forth with strangers on the Internet😂 this is why I just come to browse what people post and hardly comment. Things get purposely misinterpreted or people comment back nonsense when they clearly have comprehension issues!

Because what random men may or may not be thinking isn’t really my concern. I dress for comfort, particularly in my own home. If that means wearing shorts on a certain day, then that means wearing shorts.

Why are you so determined to put the onus on women to contort themselves around men and what they might be thinking? I’d genuinely like an answer to that.

This 100%

A woman should feel safe in her home wearing what she feels comfortable in without pandering to the needs of men who might not be able to keep their eyes and thoughts to themselves.

Does anyone tell builders to put a tshirt on when they go topless in the summer incase women can't contain themselves?

And his response to that was to ask his wife to change rather than address the conduct of the men in question? And you think that’s acceptable?

Nobody has comprehension issues, you are siding with a man who thinks it's ok to tell a woman to cover up her body in her own home incase a workman looks.

Sad really that women are being made to feel like they can't just wear what they want in their home.

We are talking about sports shorts. Probably something like this. Utterly ridiculous and offensive to suggest covering up.

@pedropony76

This is my point though. Why would you WANT to wear really short short when random men are going to be in your house? I’d genuinely like an answer to that

My answer would be why not? I can wear what I want in my own home. It shouldn't be an issue. If the men have an issue, they can not look/leave/get on with the job I'm paying them for rather than think about what I'm wearing. They are there to do a professional job or service. If they are not able to do that without wasting time gawking, they are not fit for purpose.

Your question reveals an underlying internalised attitude. You're assuming all men will be as base and gross as the OP's husband. That's quite a thought.

People are literally putting words in my mouth and are coming up with their own agendas.

To clarify, I said. I understand the OPs husband’s point as SOME women may want to change into different clothes when having random men in the house. For example, I would personally change from shorts to trousers if I had workmen in the house. HOWEVER. The OP was comfortable enough and the issue lies with the fact that her husband suggested she changed instead of her wanting to change herself. If you cannot comprehend that SOME women (and men) may change into different clothes when having strangers in the house then honestly, sorry to you.

All the talk about misogyny and assuming the all men are as gross as the OP’s husband, literally what are you talking about??

"Looking at your hole"? WTAF?

I dread to think what he writes in your valentines card 😂

Your H has a number of issues:
He sees you as a possession that other men should not be able to look at.
He is intimidated by other men and wouldn't feel confident to address any inappropriate behaviour towards you by them should it occur, so is attempting to avoid it by policing you.
He is crude and vulgar in his self expression.
Overall the picture emerges of a not very bright, sexist, weak and easily intimated man. So, in short, not his finest hour.

pedropony76 nobody is misinterpreting you or putting words in your mouth.
You can't question why someone would want to wear a particular item if clothing and not expected to be challenged!!
Where does that stop? Should women be mindful of their clothing when they're in the presence of men in general? What difference does being in your own home make?

He may have overheard them talking, op. Men can talk differently amongst them than in front of their spouses. Everyone knows that.

And you think the appropriate response would be to tell his wife to change?
They appropriate response is to kick them out of the house sharpish.

To me it makes no sense to ask to wear something tight fitting as leggings. But I am not telling op where to send her husband either as I would tell mine if he told me that. However, has any of you thought that the husband may have asked her to change into something not drastically different because:

1. he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it


2. he doesn’t like confrontation with other men or


3. he chose the easy way of telling her instead of addressing the issue with them as he didn’t want to end up with an unfinished job and workmen making their way out. So it may have seemed more practical for him from all points of view just to say something to her in passing. She said her self it was the last she heard of it

I'm sure that's exactly what it is. A cowardly man who takes the easy option of policing his wife rather than risk having to make a stand against unacceptable behaviour from other men. Other men he is paying and who are in his own home. Pathetic behaviour.

I wouldn’t like this at all. Is he controlling in any other ways?

Glad you didn’t give in.

Some men are creepy and it’s almost impossible to tell which ones they are. So I would honestly feel better a bit more covered.

your husband’s turn of phrase about “your hole” makes me wonder whether he is one of the creeps!

He sounds gross. I'd wonder what he's looking at.