Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So hurt

104 replies

IcePoppy2 · 01/05/2022 11:31

I have nobody to talk to about this. Me and dp have been arguing this morning, mainly about the kids/house work. Because he realised eventually he was in the wrong, he decided to get personal. He said I’m fat, ugly and scruffy. I should go and look in the mirror to see just how ugly I am. Even if I lose weight, it won’t matter because the damage is done and I’ll end up with loads of saggy skin. Nobody else will find me attractive and if they do they will be desperate. He feels sorry for the next person that would end up on top of me. He wouldn’t leave the house if he looked like me. He looked me up and down and laughed at me. He will have no trouble moving on because he gets lots of looks/flirting when he goes out apparently according to him. This is everything he said to me. How am I meant to get past this? I have never been so hurt. I never, ever said anything personal about him during this argument. I can’t imagine carrying on the relationship after what he’s said. I know that eventually he will apologise and say he didn’t mean it and that he only said to hurt me. But I genuinely can’t imagine ever moving on from his words. My self esteem was already non-existent before this which he knows. He’s gone out somewhere now in a strop. Actually hoping he doesn’t return

OP posts:
KangFang · 02/05/2022 05:06

Oh my god.
That is appalling.
I would be out of there this week and would tell him to go fuck himslf.
What an absolute ppick.
Leave him to his fantasies and stop being his unpaid skivvy.

KangFang · 02/05/2022 05:07

Bellieboo33 · 01/05/2022 23:02

You can go onward and upward from this OP! LTB!
im not saying it will be easy, but you can have a lovely happy, cosy little life with you and your DC to look forward to- full of happiness! without this awful, abusive bloke dragging you down.
once the dust settles and he’s gone, I bet you will feel utterly relieved! You are solid gold- dont let him make you believe otherwise.

good luck & stay strong x

The kids are his kids, not hers.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 02/05/2022 05:22

I took OPs statement that the kids are his to mean that he’s the father of her kids.

Agree with everyone else - you’ve got the power to put a stop to this abuse now, don’t wait another few weeks or months until he does it again, make plans and get out, leave him to his toxic little life. Do it for yourself and do it for the kids, you don’t want them to hear that this is the way you speak to people (women) and get away with it.

timeisnotaline · 02/05/2022 05:31

That is cruel and I’d be done. There is no coming back. If it helps, say calmly I wrote down what you said. Would you come meet some friends, read it out and then explain I should get over it because you didn’t mean it? And wait. He’s not an idiot, he knows what they would think. Offer to send him a copy as if he ever anyone to stay in a relationship with him he needs to work on what kind of person he is, so he should read it out to his therapist.
but for your relationship, just end it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page