Running around after teenagers.

[gardenhelpneeded]

Anyone else got a husband like this? Loves looking after people but completely ruining our teenagers. Much more noticeable since he’s wfh. Forgot their games kit - no problem I’ll hand it in to school etc… they’re 17 and 15! Cooks for them and doesn’t ask them to help.

Yesterday I lost the plot as I was about to have a nap (insomnia) and he asked me to help him look for a cricket jumper as my son had texted to say his was too small and he’s playing in a match that afternoon. Back to school he goes. (He’d already been down that morning taking tennis stuff for my eldest ). Although I thwarted that by texting my son to walk home (15 mins) and get it himself. This was all after me calmly talking to him about it and thinking he was on board.

The eldest in particular is quite lazy and a bit entitled. I’ve told DH he’s ruining them and it’s his fault. So mad. I said a couple of days ago- we need to look for opportunities for them to take responsibility and also natural consequences when they don’t, he agreed and then this!

What do I do? I’ve really lost my temper with him. But he agrees with me then does it anyway. He tells the boys off but then gets in the car to help them out anyway.

He lost his dad young which is probably a part of it but it’s so detrimental. Arghhhhhh

@tomatoandherbs

Sleep is up and down. Some good nights some not so good. I tick along usually but have just had Covid so was exhausted last week. A lot better this week so far.

I am not surprised this week is better sleep
why?
because your last post seems more balanced and less arrrrrgggghhhh!

As I said early on in thread, I suspect your insomnia lies at the root of your frustration and even anger

@tomatoandherbs no doubt it has an impact on my reaction. I’m totally aware of that. Doesn’t take away the underlying issues though which have been rumbling on for a while. Anyway it’s been good to get a lot of differing viewpoints. Thanks!

As a parent of 5, all in 20s & 30s now I would say cut your teenagers some slack.
None of us are perfect & teenage years are so challenging.
We still all help each other when we can. Doesn’t seem to have created anyone particularly entitled or selfish.
In fact the kids often say they appreciate us so much, now they are older & have children of their own. The time goes so quickly & before you know where you are they will have flown the nest.

Some further patronising responses here sort-of-blaming-you OP for "over-reacting" when its clearly an ongoing issue at some level, but it is MN after all . Also their grown up children may be nothing like yours, but that doesn't seem to occur to them in balancing things. Its good to get others' views sometimes, but they don't know you or your family and make all kinds of assumptions, so you don't have to take their advice.

You sound much more on it that them to be honest! Good luck. I hope your DH is more understanding that maybe his DW needs some rest too, btw. Adios :).

Or @LastMinuteLama

an understanding of the devastating impact insomnia can have in outlook, perspective and relationships