Winking

[MatchPoint100]

There is a girl at work who really brightens my day. Not Pershing anything one because it's work and 2 because she has a boyfriend.

Anyway. I walk to my desk a different route sometimes to see her, she often looks towards me (she might at all that pass) often waves, acknowledges me most of the time, smiles etc. She is lovely basically, very bubbly.

The other day I walked past and she gave me a wink and as I sat at my desk I was like : 'Did she just wink at me'

Thoughts?

Doesn't matter either way just looking for a women's perspective. Won't act on anything, she just makes me feel good at the moment and it's lovely 😀

They must be single as being bitter and nasty about others would put any man off. That's makes them even more bitter and nasty. it's a vicious circle for the poor things.😂😂

OP you're single you're doing nothing wrong, if she wants to flirt with you let her.

She is either playfully flirting with you as she has noticed you giving her extra attention and is enjoying it, but has no intentions of pursuing anything, or she does like you in the way you hope, but she has a boyfriend so until this isn't the case, tread carefully), or (you won't like this one, sorry), she winked by accident. Sounds daft, but I have had a twitch in my eyelid before and accidentally winked at people 😂.

I'd hold off acting on anything for now, see how things go and take it from there.

I'm a 32 year old girl? Why strange? I was in the office yesterday and me and my 37 year old colleague were asked 'do you want anything from the shop girls?'

To be serious about the 'girl' thing for a moment: I'm aware women often choose to describe themselves / their friends as 'girls' and that's their prerogative. But it's a different thing in the workplace because it can carry a connotation of women being undervalued and not taken seriously. It's rare for men to be referred to as "boys" at work - you might occasionally get it in the situation of an older woman talking about a young man her son's age or similar, but not routinely the way women have been dismissed, especially by senior male colleagues, as "girls". Some of us are sensitive to it because we've been on the receiving end of it or seen it in action.

Women don't usually wink at men.
Grow up.

Yet if you don't live with a person you are dating and call them your partner you have them all telling you no, they are your boyfriend/girlfriend 😏 even if you are both in your 40s

She has a boyfriend and she touched you casually in conversation and winked at you one time. It sounds like you’re reading/ analysing a lot into what amounts to very little. If she’s younger than you and less senior then I don’t think dialling up the flirting as some posters have recommended is a good idea. Maybe try connecting with people outside work instead and for the time being just focussing on being friendly and professional in work.

She sounds friendly and outgoing.

I wouldn't read anything into the wink - I wink at people of either sex and it's generally a "hi, I acknowledge you but can't talk right now" or a shared joke.

The wink is a sort of ramped up hello. Its an acknowledgement of your presence in a vaguely conspiratal singling you out kind of way. It definitely means you have her attention in a positive way, but that could mean she just likes you in a way that's more matey than the average colleague.
Tbh a lot depends on how attractive you are. If you're a man women tend to fancy, she possibly does. If you're not, I'd say it's just friendly. Worse case, if you're a man who no woman ever fancies ,and she's attractive (and horrible) she may even be teasing you (sorry).

As a girl/woman/lady/female, I would wink:

If we were sharing an “in” joke.

If I had something in my eye.

I would not wink if I fancied someone because it’s the wrong kind of flirting for a woman to do.

If a man winked at me I’d be thinking oh aye (‘scuse the pun) you’re a bit sure of yourself ain’tcha and would actually find it a turn-off.

If another woman winked at me I’d be wondering what she knew that I didn’t.

OP, what you’ve said she does – the winking and touching - DOES sound like she’s flirting with you, tbh. But think on, she has a boyfriend/partner so should she really be doing any of that? And if so, why?

No harm in enjoying the attention but just keep a level head about you.

I had this once. I used to walk in my eldest to school and one day I noticed one of the mums was one of the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen (still 6 years later!). I physically did a double take and silently mouthed ‘wow!’ completely by accident.

She noticed and whenever we passed each other on the walk to dropping of our children we’d smile and say hi. I was married so never took it further and started a conversation with her but it was a nice, safe kind of flirty thing and really cheered up dull mornings.

Anyway drop off at school became chucking the kids out of the car so I didn’t see her for years until I noticed she works at the same place I started at last year…and I’m not married anymore and have a gf and she’s way out of my league anyway so haven’t even tried again :)

OP just enjoy a bit of brightness to your day!

Come on MN and call us manhaters. What a good look. 😒
I know it’s only those you disagree with and not everyone. Like that’s better.

As far as I’m aware, OP didn’t disagree with me and I still believe that 80% of the females on MN are man-haters and I am a female myself. Literally, the majority of females have just attacked this man simply because he’s posted a thread asking for advice from females regarding his situation and has been attacked as a result. Not cool.

Unless you are engaged in a game of wink murder then she's definitely flirting with you.

You are being a bit snippy with some posters though.

OP there are a large amount of women on here that hate men. Simply ignore them, they have issues. I dont know if its the majority of the site but it certainly feels that way at times.

Im a girl, Im over 50!!

She probably is just one of those bubbly, gregarious types who is chatty and friendly with people. I find people like that just make everyone feel good about themselves which can only be positive.

Unless you are engaged in a game of wink murder then she's definitely flirting with you.

Not necessarily. I occasionally wink at my male colleagues & vice versa. It's just a friendly thing with us.

If you work with children, you really shouldn’t be thinking like this

I’ve read OP’s post 3 times and can’t see where he mentions working with children

He didnt and I dont think he does.
It was a dick comment back at him because he dared to use the word ' girls' instead of ' women'
Incidentally many women use the word ' girls' as a generic term to refer to themselves and their friends by (including myself). Others cant cope and come down like a ton of bricks on anyone that wants to use it! ( esp6a man!!!) And gets all buffy and smart ass

Would you refer to a male colleague as “a boy at work”? why not? We do in our work place and the guys refer to themselves as that so what's your story.....🤷‍♀️

Either way she likes you! Might just be being friendly.

Some posters on here literally get off on typing nasty replies as fast as they can and pressing ‘post’.

@Took If you look back it was other women that said it. I agreed because, we'll, it's true. I've been around here long enough to experience the double standard.

@bellac11 I agree. All I can say is she has made me feel good and she brightens up my day and I'm just going to enjoy it.

We're not a bunch of man haters on MN. We're a bunch of arsehole haters.
Unfortunately many many men are arseholes.

Didn’t call the op an arsehole before anyone has to come shout me down and call me a man hater. 🙄 Just making my point more clearly.

She's probably just friendly. Some people are like this. I think you're reading too much in to it given she has a boyfriend.

To add, unless you are also a naturally friendly/flirt person and do so with everyone I'd seriously rein in the flirting with this woman - it's going to stand out a lot unlike would be the case with someone who's default is like that.

Many many women are also arseholes - you only need to look at the top few threads to see this.

Is she from another country? A friend of mine used to wink at the builders when she gave them a cup of tea. They all thought she was coming onto them and I had to explain that winking is often flirty in Britain. She said that in her country it was like saying "There you go!" when delivering the tea 😂