Winking

[MatchPoint100]

There is a girl at work who really brightens my day. Not Pershing anything one because it's work and 2 because she has a boyfriend.

Anyway. I walk to my desk a different route sometimes to see her, she often looks towards me (she might at all that pass) often waves, acknowledges me most of the time, smiles etc. She is lovely basically, very bubbly.

The other day I walked past and she gave me a wink and as I sat at my desk I was like : 'Did she just wink at me'

Thoughts?

Doesn't matter either way just looking for a women's perspective. Won't act on anything, she just makes me feel good at the moment and it's lovely 😀

@YRGAM clearly a mumsnet man hater !

MatchPoint100 ·

• *I think there's nothing wrong in your post, mumsnet can be cruel at times but overall offers a balanced perspective. I would just enjoy the moments and let it build your confidence. Everyone likes to feel a bit of flirty interaction it's good for your soul once in a while. See how it goes perhaps nothing wrong in it for now.

Oh OP I'm sorry you're having a hard time on here from some people. Personally, I still go out with 'the girls' and I'm 45, I knew what you meant without any clarification!

Anyway to your question, I actually think you sound like a breath of fresh air, it's a lovely feeling wondering if there's something there, just enjoy it for what it is and don't lose your moral compass, you know she has a boyfriend at the moment....I repeat though, enjoy the moment, makes the day go by quicker!

It’s interesting that you have ignored the questions about her age, is she much younger than you?

OP how old is she? If she is in her early 20s i will feel very uncomfortable for a 40s year old man to overthink of my “bubbly” personality

I’m 58 you can call me a girl if you like 😉

YABU Coming on mumsnet with a question about a girl winking at you at work and expecting not to get rinsed, especially if you’ve been on here for years! And in fairness if the sexes were reversed I think you get a similar level of savagery or more; “man at work winks at me. I like it. He’s in a relationship. So confused what should I do?”
Anyway OP, I think given what you’ve written I’d say there is an 80%+ chance she is low level fucking with you. But who knows? You clearly fancy her so maybe shoot your shot, see what happens, & what could possibly go wrong?

I wouldn't read too much into the wink. It's a cheeky, fun "Hi! I see you" gesture. Touching is a friendly thing too. So, unless she actually says something differently, you should just assume she's being friendly and enjoy it.

I think that if you’re noticing this woman enough to ask other women about their thoughts on her flirty behaviour you might be a little more interested than you are telling yourself you are! 😃

OP, this girl could almost be me! A little about me first, I'm early 40s and refer to myself as a girl; I'm a bloody powerful one though and not to be messed with. To sum up, we are not all offended by being called a girl. A little girl, yes, I would be offended or, in contrast, similarly, an old girl. I regularly have a night out with the girls and some are older than me.

Sadly for you, I think you are over-reading the situation though. I wink at work colleagues (both genders) that I am close to, it's a friendship wink rather than a trying to pull wink. I almost regard it as a wave or another way of saying hello. I don't think it's ever been misinterpreted.

I love being called a girl. She's flirting, enjoy it but let her lead imo.
Mumsnet really should change its name to bitchnet

I've responded previously. Re: "Girl".

This is my anthem.

I’m also curious.

I miss being 'a girl'. I still remember when it stopped. Was standing in Tesco beside a woman and her young daughter. She said to the child, "Stand back so the lady can pass." I moved back too, assuming there was an older person beside me. But no. It was me. I was the lady. 😭

@BadNomad - The next stage is when you get offered a seat on a train. 😂

Oh Starlight I love the videocto that song - I've not seen it before. (Admitedly my current song would more accurately be "this girl.... is so tired zzz and is struggling!). Will see if I can be more "on fire!" Love the positivity.

So you're over 40, how old is she ?

Thanks for all the kind responses.

She's say 35

I hate it when people actually tell me what I'm thinking. I have no desires, I'm just enjoying it. Yes she is nice and if no boyfriend and if not at work, yeah I would maybe persue something

It's nice to have a little crush.

It is nice to have a crush, enjoy it but just enjoy it for what it is and let her take the lead in progressing things if that's what she wants. She knows you fancy her, trust me

Whilst I think many of the early posters on this thread we're totally OTT and very unkind, I also do think it's inappropriate for 40+ men to refer to grown women as girls, and I do think that's something you could acknowledge OP.

Please understand that casual language is part of a wider problem and it shouldn't just be glossed over. I'm not saying you intended it badly at all, but it would be a positive step to try to use more equal language in future.

A friend's DH used to dislike being called a boy as in "boys' night out" or whatever.
Somehow it used to look a bit ridiculous seeing a bloke in his late 40s saying, crossly, "I'm a man, not a boy!" as if we'd genuinely mistaken him for a teenager.

Anyway, sorry - just a by-the-by.

Calm down, can nobody say anything any more without it being scrutinised for offence 🙄

@Nogreenfingers83 - My view is that girls are powerful and I will never stop being one.

That's lovely for you, but it's your choice to identify yourself as a girl if you want to. Imo men shouldn't automatically refer to women as girls, especially in the workplace.

35 year old girl? Seems strange.