What should a father be expected to do?

[amazingworldofgumball]

For context

I am a first time mother. My DD is two months old.

My DH is now a second time father.

We both run a successful business together which means we're able to take about 6 months off together with our newborn.

My Question

I say he should be doing equal to what I do - ie feeding, changing, bathing, night feeds as well as general household chores.

He says he's willing to feed, bathe and look after DD while I cook/shower/clean/sleep.

I grew up in a pretty traditional household so my mother did the majority of pretty much everything while my father worked. DH's parents were the same, and he was the same with his first child.

I do feel a little cheated, but I'm not sure if I'm expecting too much or not enough?

I hate threads like this.

50/50, when you’re off work and back at work. Everything. It might be you have your own jobs? For example DH does all the cooking because he enjoys it.

its 50% his child so 50% his responsibility. I have no idea why he’d think otherwise.

So basically at the moment he's just causing you more work and later - be prepared for the many and varied extraordinary excuses about why he can do less and less - he'll just be a wallet? Cut out the middle-man and use him as a wallet now, get rid of the cleaning up after him/cooking meals forhim crap now.

So it is. 👀

What's he doing with his time? If he has taken paternity leave, he needs to be doing 50% of everything for the duration!

He’s having a laugh! My DH went back to work when DC3 was 5mo. Prior to that it started as I was 90% baby-carer (breastfeeding) and he was 90% housekeeper, although the ratios shifted/equalised more as the baby has got older. We also have a cleaner because we hate housework plus we have 2 other children so it’s basically chaos.

I especially like how he’s “preparing” you for him going back to work by making you do everything - surely he should be doing extra now to give you a break before he goes back? We’ve used us both being off to get jobs done we don’t normally have time for. Honestly the man needs to give his head a wobble. And if you’re bottle/combi feeding get him on night duty pronto!

And why why why... wasnt this discussed BEFORE having your baby.

You even said it yourself that he treated his other kid with the same attitude. Why did you think he'd be different now?

Sorry but you made your bed. But dont lay on it though....! make him parent his God damn kid. He sounds like a useless twat

Hes not helping now so you don’t get used to it? So why isn’t he working then? What is the point of him being there?
wheres his other kid?
and what does he mean it doesn’t sit right with him to get a cleaner or a nanny - that’s funny isn’t it since it’s not him that it would be helping.

who gives a flying fuck what his mum thinks as well?

you need to really put your foot down here because you are being taken for an absolute ride.

Did you not notice how sexist he was before now? Obviously if you're both off work you should be doing an equal share. Your DH is basically telling you he's superior to you and you need to serve and wait on him

this is the most 1950's post I've ever read.

Your DP is a lazy twat. He wants to be off work, have you look after hima nd baby - and play dad 10% of the time whilst you treat yourself to a shower?

No wonder Mum No.1 left him. Id be doing the same, he clearly see's you as lesser

I would love for him to help more than what he currently does, but he says I'm expecting too much because he won't always be here to help when he goes back to work (more than likely before I will), which makes sense.

wtf are you talking about? it makes no sense at all. He's off now so he should look after his child now, he isn't "helping" you jesus christ. Why is her taking paternity leave if he isn't looking after his child in that time? What does he do when you're doing everything? Is he watching TV? and if so maybe tell him he can't watch TV in the day now because he'll be back in work in 4 months and he won't be able to watch TV in the day then.........

OP, I know it's normal to change some details but this seems a bit extreme?

In fairness to the OP the other posts were 2017 so it is plausible (given that the user name is a fairly well known show) that the 2017 poster deregged therefore when the OP came to join and post the username was free.