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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Utterly heartbroken pt2 - baby steps forward

101 replies

colouringindoors · 23/04/2022 13:27

I've had so much amazing support and advice on thread 1:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4447267-Utterly-utterly-heartbroken?page=10&reply=116823741

My first and very significant relationship, following the end of a long traumatic marriage, ended in January leaving me devastated. A lot of trauma plus single parent to two teens with disabilities/asd plus severe chronic pain folowing back injury 2 years ago mean my resilience is very small.

Seems the end of this first relationship post unhappy marriage has also been v difficult for many others. As is the end of others' relationships.

So this thread is here for me as I try to make progress, and for anyone else struggling who'd like to join.

Lots of excellent advice on first thread too.

💐

OP posts:
colouringindoors · 22/05/2022 15:27

Oh wow that's really encouraging thank you!

OP posts:
colouringindoors · 22/05/2022 15:28

Though someone fit and strong would be lovely 😍

OP posts:
DrBrennerFan · 22/05/2022 16:28

How is everyone today? Hugs handhold where needed . Still getting over cold/chest infection be glad when I stop feeling weak physically. Mentally well band days get this week out the way. Bathroom going in next weekend treats ordered in-laws visit planned. My dreams shattered.

DrBrennerFan · 22/05/2022 16:59

just spoken to father law deleted the lot apparently loads ops them being investigated by FBI off to hide and dream of Brenner

DrBrennerFan · 23/05/2022 15:55

Gave cigarettes to Brandon yesterday for tablets so means another £10 0n smokes past caring now.

DrBrennerFan · 23/05/2022 17:15

My weekend sorted binge watching stranger things so won’t be around much, bathroom going in.

milkandhoneyy · 01/06/2022 21:26

Hope everyone is doing ok and hopefully making some progress even if just small Flowers

colouringindoors · 01/06/2022 22:49

Hey lovely @milkandhoneyy thanks for checking in. I am doing sooo much better than January. I don't really miss him now. I have a low level of thinking he was a bit shit to me, and a bit sad it didn't work out as there were Many good aspects to our relationship. But I don't have regrets. I am lonely but CBA with OLD at the moment. How are you doing?

OP posts:
milkandhoneyy · 02/06/2022 20:24

@colouringindoors that's great! You are inspiring all of us with how far you've come! I'm better, good and bad days obviously, but there's no easy way through. I do keep thinking to myself that the next time I meet someone this HAS to be it, he has to be the one...as I can't go through the heart break again, it's too much to bare.
I do have a date next week...so we shall see.

colouringindoors · 15/06/2022 23:46

how was the date @milkandhoneyy ?

Tonight I'm really missing having that person you can message crap to and feel special to.

OP posts:
milkandhoneyy · 20/06/2022 19:57

It was good actually, surprisingly. It's going well. Very cautious though. How is everyone feeling?

Mosso · 28/08/2022 16:27

How are you doing OP?

DrBrennerFan · 28/08/2022 22:02

I’m back not saying much but all dreams shattered. Life is crap at least soon to be ex have agreed divorce not been happy for years. We’ve agreed no nastiness. I’ll help,as much as possible for his new home the in-laws won’t do much. Once he’s in his new home they won’t bother..

colouringindoors · 29/08/2022 00:50

Mosso · 28/08/2022 16:27

How are you doing OP?

I'm doing ok @Mosso thanks so much.

Interestingly I actually kissed someone new last night! It's not going to go anywhere, but it was really nice and so good after the carnage of January...

Take care DrBrennerFan, sorry to hear things are so crap.

OP posts:
Wildflowerbeauty · 29/08/2022 03:42

Just found this tread after reading first one as often wondered how you were OP. It really does sound like things are about to fall into place with you as you have come so far since Jan . How are you too milknhoney ?

DrBrennerFan · 29/08/2022 16:08

Thankyou colouringindoor I’ll get there will take time I’m looking at gumtree for things that can be delivered all hoping neighbour moves out I can move in (if council will let us do this) we’re still going going to be friends. I can’t wait to cover my bedroom in posters my sanctuary.

colouringindoors · 31/08/2022 18:42

Well I can't stop thinking about the man i kissed 🙄

OP posts:
DrBrennerFan · 31/08/2022 20:56

Delighted for you @colouringindoors we've decided I’m going wish me tried two warden assisted complexes for over 55s I’d feel safer there no I’ve not been hit ever.

DrBrennerFan · 31/08/2022 22:11

Opinions on folding camp bed for a few weeks when I move out I’ll need a bed so thought for the first few weeks one of these then I go with a bed at least. Then I’ll get a proper bed.

DrBrennerFan · 01/09/2022 16:37

Done a lot today prepaid metres sorted for stbx water as well, tomorrow the bank very civil we are, no nastiness. We don’t see the point until I move out when ever that is I’m helping him get sorted. And saving as much as I can now I’m not funding fags booze weed I’ll be rich well not rich but can save for things for my new home.

colouringindoors · 04/09/2022 00:29

And

Crash.

OP posts:
Mosso · 04/09/2022 08:05

Glad you're okay, Kiss him again! Or kiss someone else, it's great to get an update and know you're moving on x

Mosso · 04/09/2022 08:05

colouringindoors · 04/09/2022 00:29

And

Crash.

Sorry didn't see this. Are you okay?

colouringindoors · 04/09/2022 21:15

Turns out he's another emotional car crash of a bloke. ffs. Are there any emotionally healthy men out there?!

OP posts:
LondonMiss1 · 16/07/2023 16:24

I know this is an old thread, but wanted to say thank you it’s really helped me.. came out of a 3 year relationship with an alcoholic in November met the most amazing man, I could see our future and even got close to his daughter but he started saying he couldn’t commit and I didn’t see the signs the next thing he moved on felt like before I even had chance to breathe. I had to drive past them going out last night as we live in same street, something he never tried to make an effort with for me.. I feel absolutely broken.. we have still been chatting but he’s just playing games