Shared a bed with married colleague…

[Bueno89]

I started a new job a few months ago and found myself to gravitate towards a more senior married male colleague at monthly post-work drinks - we had a lot of banter.

Fast forward to last week where we’re attending an exhibition for the company and I get stuck with a colleague me and the more senior colleague have a mutual dislike for in the evening - the more senior colleague then invites me back to his hotel to have dinner with him to ‘rescue’ me. I get an Uber to the station to get my train home but I missed my train and the hotel my colleague was staying in had no rooms left available. He insisted he would sleep on the floor and I could have the bed so we did that and just spent ages chatting. However, he then got uncomfortable so joined me on the bed.

it got touchy so he brought up that it was crossing a line as both work and the fact he is married with kids and I’m in a long term relationship. We discussed we had both thought about it but he said he didn’t think it would ever happen as I was ‘young and hot’ and because of our relationships. We ended up kissing and a lot of touching but I stopped it going further and explained aside from morally, I also didn’t want to ruin our working relationship. I asked if he would feel guilty after and he didn’t know but said he just knew it would be really good.

I insisted we shouldn’t despite attempts and then in the morning I ended up doing engaging in foreplay. We then didn’t really talk about it until he left and said it wouldn’t be weird at work etc. he then hugged me and said to let him know I had got home.

We’ve messaged back and forth a little in Teams at work but haven’t discussed what happened. It’s still jokey but I feel awkward that things won’t be the same when we’re back in the office. He hasn’t increased how often we chat or changed his demeanour.

The worst part is that I have no regret as to what happened and feel like I wish I had let it go further. I can’t stop thinking about it and don’t know if I should bring it up when I next see him. He hasn’t said anything, but I don’t know if it’s because I insisted on it not happening so he thinks there’s no chance or it might make me uncomfortable, or if he just regrets it? I don’t know if it was an ego boost or if he would ever want more.

This was the most obvious playbook move ever.

Clearly neither of you are in loving, committed relationships. You should leave your partner and let him find someone who respects him. Your colleague should really leave his wife.

I have a feeling neither of you will and you'll end up back in bed together next time you go our for work drinks and "have no idea how it happened"

I mean, it’s not really a great look for you. but I suppose if having a feel of your married boss after a few months on the job is the look you’re going for, you’re doing great

Giving your married boss a blowie after a works do is an excellent starting point for a relationship with him, and will do wonderful things for his relationship with his wife & children and for your long term relationship!
10 points to Gryffindor!

This is a totally over the top reaction. Reported

Grim. You're both grim. But if you're so desperate to be a notch on a married man's bed post then I doubt anything we say will convince you otherwise. Why not get yourself some self esteem instead and not fall for people who so obviously just want a shag and know every word to say to get you exactly where they want you? Aim a bit higher OP.

Well said

I totally agree with it. Not OTT in my opinion

I don't think it's over the top at all - it's an appalling way to treat the people they are with if it's real and if it's fake then it's pathetic. Is it the word cunt you're objecting to? Wouldn't be my word of choice either but their behaviour justifies it IMO.

In a situation such as this, the above point of view has merit.

Don't do you it , you will fuck up your entire life for some exciting sex trust me on that . If you're that unhappy end it with your partner and seek out someone available.

Personal attacks are not allowed. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean, she didn't really resist, did she?

She's not innocent here.

Nah - totally warranted

What would you call them?
If its true:

If its fake:

I don't know what you want people to say. But you should let your partner know that you cheated on them.

Grubby and predictable - you’ve ruined your relationship with your partner and your work life and got your head all over the place. You’ve openly walked into creating a mess. Agree with PP you need counselling to figure out what is important to you

I don't know how any woman can inflict the sort of pain you will have caused when his wife finds out OP, what you've done is lower than shark shit.

How would you feel if your partner did the same?

10 points to Gryffindor!

This really made me laugh.

OP, if you want to wreck both your career and your relationship, no one on here can stop you (I won't mention your boss's marriage as I imagine he's an old hand at this stuff). But try not to present yourself as so weirdly passive- going to dinner because you being "rescued" from another colleague, ending up in bed because your boss was uncomfortable on the floor (pmsl), "it got touchy"- these are all decisions you made, own them and stop presenting yourself as a wide-eyed ingenue who just happened to find herself naked in a hotel room wanking off her married boss.

"We ended up kissing and a lot of touching but I stopped it going further and explained aside from morally"

Morally?? Morally???? So your morals only kicked in when you thought it dick was going to penetrate you but kissing and a lot of touching was perfectly fine. What lovely values and morals you have! You seem to have little - no regret! Leave your partner! He deserves better!!

Stay classy 😴

Its not a good idea to shag work colleagues especially your boss, but it does happen a lot, “you never miss a slice off a cut loaf”, as they say. Team building trips away from home are especially “dangerous” along with the old saying, what happens in Blackpool stays in Blackpool ( or wherever).

Go for it OP, I'm sure he's living in a sexless marriage with a horrible woman anyway. He's probably only staying for the children and deserves for you to save him. You obviously share a spark which his dull wife cannot contend with. And he has definitely never done this before.

This has to be a wind up, surely? No one is that thick in real life are they?

If it isn't, then you've just become the office slut OP. I doubt you are the first with this particular 'manager'. Perhaps thats why there was a vacancy at your work place. You've filled it admirably.

Leave your partner - you've cheated on him. You can't undo that, but I would seriously think twice about pursuing anything further with this poor excuse of a man.

You’ve started an affair

They almost ALWAYS end in utter shit

“This has to be a wind up, surely? No one is that thick in real life are they?”

No, it’s not a wind up

Yes, they are,

OP probably wanted it to happen, then got cold feet.