I've been toying with the idea of online dating for a while now. Background: I am early 40s, long-time single, had a horrid abusive relationship in my late 20s (mentally, emotionally, sexually abusive - I escaped, worked hard on my boundaries, but it did scar me). I look OK - look after hair, skin, and fitness, but I'm no "looker" whatever that means.
No kids. Have had a couple of no-go relationships, or attempts at relationships, in my 30s (think I posted here about the last one, closed that one down sharpish), but overall I just didn't really want to be in one, focused on work and scraping a living together instead.
The reason why I am thinking about OLD is that I do, now, want to have someone in my life - a partner, someone who will be there for me and who I can be there for. Groups, activities, etc. have been almost erased by COVID and I find that people just don't use them for finding a partner anyway.
BUT: after being single and self-reliant for so long, should I even bother? At my age?
I've lost count of the horror stories my friends have told me about OLD. (Male and female friends both.) Human beings being treated as commodities in a shop window, people using OLD for finding a different sex partner for every day of the weeek.
I look at LTR's around me, how they can and do go horribly wrong, I look at my own past and I get scared of being hurt again. My self-esteem is pretty vulnerable, to put it mildly. Guess Tinder is out of the question for the likes of me.
Any thoughts? Success stories / advice? TIA! 