Please can you all tell me what you do with your evenings being single?

[Cupcake00]

Also weekends?
I need some inspiration.
My dcs are teens and like to do their own thing most of the time.
I would love to hear what you do that makes you happy to be single.

Writing, reading, cooking/baking, DIY, art, walking.

My RL social life is a bit thin on the ground as I've been quite isolated caring for elderly parents since the beginning of the pandemic, but I have a close friend who I see pretty much every week, a couple of others who I'm in touch with fairly regularly and a lot of online friends.

I'm lucky that when DD17 is home she does quite enjoy hanging out with me.

Watch youtube playlists (mainly critiquing fat acceptance etc) sometimes while weight training. Occasionally a little bit of reading.

I'm never bored- it's my personality.

Weekends- coffee with a friend, Mass (which is a new thing for me), Netflix/Amazon with friend at his with toffee popcorn.

I have a cat, maybe that helps.

I had such unpleasant experiences with friends and men that I don't yearn for that now, I enjoy my freedom and peace.

@VeryMuchFlaggingMinty I’m lucky my 12 year old daughter can tolerate my company

Do you ever worry what will happen when you daughter leaves home?

I know it’s a natural step but I try not to think about it or the potential isolation - I know I should be doing things to not get into that position but can be hard to snap out of it!

Not single anymore but I used to have a cup of tea with a friend, or a cheap dinner. Go to the cinema (together with a friend or alone. Alone is great during the week), go swimming, go to a fitness center, bingewatch netflix, take a long walk, cycle, take pictures of the city lights, walk the monopoly streets of my city, clean the house (so I didn't have to do that during the day) and once a week I did (still do) a creative hobby.

@Rachelw84

Dd will be off to uni in 18 months, all going to plan.

She is out all day, Mon - Fri with gym, college and work and sees her dad alternate Saturdays so I'm used to her not being around in the day time and I do enjoy my own company.

I'm trying to rebuild and expand my social life a bit, and hope to start dating between now and her leaving home.

We've had a tough few years and I know she would like to see me a bit more back on my feet before she goes.

@VeryMuchFlaggingMinty sounds lovely you’re looking to life after your DD leaves, it sounds like you’re both in a good place

I enjoy my company too, but do have moments where the quietness hits me (especially after my DD has gone to bed)

I’d like to start dating too, confidence hit rock bottom after my ex left but trying to get my old life back on track - just struggle with time juggling work and running the house!

I potter about mostly, then:
Gym
Bit of housework or DIY
Bit of craft/art
Talk on the phone
Meals out
Drinks out
Walk the dog
Play with the cat
Real fire or candles burning
Listen to music/YouTube my favourite songs
Netflix
Plan holidays/days out
Going down rabbit holes on the internet
Window shopping online
Professional study/work/admin
Mumsnet/Insta

Honestly I am never bored, occasionally lonely but then I remind myself how much I love being alone.

I also find time flies so I never am concerned about stretches of time spent alone, they go in the blink of an eye!

Sometimes for my dinner I eat a whole M&S garlic baguette and nothing else. Is that the sort of thing you meant, OP?

I’m not single, but DH works a lot. I paint, play the piano, do jigsaws, listen to audiobooks and podcasts, or watch channels I enjoy on YouTube or watch Netflix. I look forward to my solo leisure time.

I realise I waste a sh*t ton of time. I spend a lot of time online & on Mumsnet ‘researching’ my latest interest/obsession/TV character/actor/series/random thought. I watch Netflix/Apple TV but I too feel I’m all TV’d out and I really want to start reading the books I own!

I cook and bake and eat! I visit and meet friends a lot. Go out for dinner any chance I get. I exercise, organise closets at home etc and do various online courses. I don’t think I’d like MeetUp as I think my local one attracts a younger crowd in their 20s mostly and I’ve got shyer and shyer with time!

I really want to use my time better as it’s amazing to have it and senseless to Waste it on screens as I do. We are so lucky to have so much free time to do as we please!

@EnidSpyton

These sorts of threads always confuse me. Why do so many people think that a fulfilling life only exists with a partner?!

I've been single forever. Love it. I live in central London so I've got loads on my doorstep. Most weeknights I'm out. I go to the theatre a lot, often alone because I prefer it, though also often with friends. Meet up with friends for drinks and dinner usually once or twice a week. Now the weather's warmer, I also love a night walk around London - I go for lovely long wanders by the river and have a good old nose into people's houses . I also do an online class one night a week in one of my hobbies, which is great fun.

If I'm in of a weeknight, I always cook a nice dinner, and then it depends - sometimes I'm in the middle of a great book and will just want to curl up and read, sometimes I'll be binge watching something on Netflix, sometimes I'll facetime friends/family, often I'll practice the piano, sometimes I'll work on whatever I'm currently writing. Occasionally I'll need to do a bit of work if I'm behind (I'm freelance).

Weekends it totally depends - sometimes I just want a quiet one, so I'll spend it pottering about at home, doing life admin, might bake a cake or something like that, catch up with friends over the phone etc. Sometimes I'll meet people for brunch/lunch/dinner/drinks, go to a gallery/museum or cinema, sometimes a matinee at the theatre, a walk on Hampstead Heath, etc. Sometimes I'll go away for a long weekend with a friend, sometimes I'll go and stay with family outside London. Sometimes I need to work, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'll spend all weekend in bed reading if that's what I fancy. Today I sat in the garden for most of the afternoon, soaking up the rays. It was bliss.

In short I do whatever I feel like doing. I love my life.

Key for me is that I have loads of hobbies and a wide circle of friends. Plus I find where I live endlessly interesting. Honestly just going for a walk is super entertaining as far as I'm concerned -there's always something new to notice in London, even though I've lived here all my life.

Embrace the freedom, OP - don't feel like you can't do stuff because you've got no one to do it with. Live your life!

Living in central London means you must have a very good income and by the sounds of it, lots of disposable income.

Your location also allows you access to everything and anything possible right on your doorstep (I'm very jealous! I would love to live where you are and your life sounds amazing!).

For other single folk who perhaps have kids to care for also, it's harder as income might not stretch to being able to afford tickets to shows or eating out regularly.

When you are unable to socialise and get out the house on your own as much as you would like, it's lonely.
Having someone to share this with makes being in a relationship worthwhile

Wow! Thankyou so much!
I have loved reading all of your comments this morning. So many different interests. Some made me laugh as I Google (waste so much time) random stuff/people.
London sounds an amazing place to live. It would swallow me up, I'm a small town kinda gal. Haven't really been far or done much which probably sounds quite sad. Been a single parent for a long time and 6 years of study kept me busy. Life is different nowadays days, dcs growing up etc.
I'm all for learning and night classes but my job takes up so much of my day mentally also. I'm always learning/training. However, a hobby or interest would maybe be better for me. Not that I have any. I did do a paint my numbers at Christmas if that counts haha!
I have read so many rescue animal stories, they're lovely but we have a very busy cockapoo already.
I was thinking about setting some walking challenges. Like pen y fan one weekend and another, another weekend. I want to find nice walks but I don't know how and scared of getting lost 🙈 when I said I haven't got out much, I meant it.
I was unwell last year and I want to actually 'live'. Appreciate. I know it sounds silly but I don't know how. I lost myself a little. That might sound strange to so many but I'm trying to be open here to find help. I was in a very lonely marriage and then after we split I threw myself into study and looking after my dcs.
Now it's time to find myself.
Thankyou all so much.

@Cupcake00

I know where you're coming from about it being your time. I left my marriage nearly 6 years ago and the time since has been swallowed up by work, raising DD and caring for elderly parents.

If you like the idea of walking, try the AllTrails app which gives all sorts of ideas ranked by difficulty.

One of my 'divorce buddies' also joined this organisation and has done lots of stuff with them and made loads of friends in the process.

www.loveherwild.com/

Pen Y Fan is amazing OP. Go up on the red route and park in the NT car park off the B road. Views are so much better. I did it last year, I want to go back and do the others like the sugar loaf before climbing Snowden. But my sciatica has ruined that plan for now.

I don’t have kids but in the evenings I sometimes go to the pub with my friends or I like to read/watch films on mubi.

I always go out for a late one at the pub on a Friday night and then on the weekends I see friends, read, go to the independent cinema in the centre on my own (my absolute favourite thing to do). Every Sunday I have a bath and read a book with a can of gin.

In my last relationship I had no time for myself. I absolutely fucking love being single.

I’m also going to look into a pottery class.

VeryMuchFlaggingMinty thankyou so much for the information. I will take a look.
DragonOverTheMoon thankyou, I will have a look. Do lots of people walk alone? I need to put my brave pants on don't I?! Sorry to hear about your sciatica. Hope you feel better soon.
Pottery sounds fun. How did you find the class? Where would I look for classes? I haven't been living under a rock, I promise.

@Cupcake00 I looked up pottery classes in my area! I live in quite a big city that is also very arty, though, so there were lots of options.

Also I would just say that doing stuff alone is fantastic! I love it because I don’t have to think about whether anyone else is enjoying it. I love to go to cafes alone, the cinema alone as I said is my favourite activity. I like to walk alone and would happily go for dinner alone. I love socialising with my friends, but doing stuff alone is so fun!

Yeah I love doing things alone too

I spend a lot of time on the phone too

It’s amazing how time fills up

I miss the physical side & sometimes the support but in so many ways I love the single life

Anything I feel like doing! Possibilities are endless. Honestly I find it baffling that people don't know what to do with their free time, especially after a lifetime of caring for children, which I consider the most boring and time-consuming activity in the entire world.

@aurynne

Anything I feel like doing! Possibilities are endless. Honestly I find it baffling that people don't know what to do with their free time, especially after a lifetime of caring for children, which I consider the most boring and time-consuming activity in the entire world.

You find it boring that people want to build a family and want a meaningful, long life connection with their child boring?

Yes, possibilities are "endless" to consume Netflix, pointless, time filler activities, meaningless interactions with other people...

@Musttryharder2021
A little harsh? I would have liked a family but it wasn’t to be. So, I enjoy my free time and there can be meaning in all kinds of interactions IMHO.

[quote Nouveaunew]@Musttryharder2021
A little harsh? I would have liked a family but it wasn’t to be. So, I enjoy my free time and there can be meaning in all kinds of interactions IMHO.[/quote]
@Nouveaunew

Not at all harsh when @aurynne was superficial in her response and denigrating others' for having a family.