Please can you all tell me what you do with your evenings being single?

[Cupcake00]

Also weekends?
I need some inspiration.
My dcs are teens and like to do their own thing most of the time.
I would love to hear what you do that makes you happy to be single.

Namechanged for this.

Single for four years and love it. Surly teen rarely spends an evening with me these days.

Work til about 6, cook dinner for an hour or so, go to the pub with colleagues every other week, swim or go to the gym a couple of times a week, play golf one day a week at the weekend with the gym combined so it is a whole day out, come home for a bath and something from M&S in the microwave/wine.

One big day out at the weekend means I'm glad to have the next day at home pottering in the garden/round the house. See family once a month.

I moved not so long ago too and have made a few 'friends' through golf and gym classes. People who I have lunch with now and then as a group or tag a walk on after a class.

Whatever I feel like or don't feel like. A lot less since pre-Covid times but I am trying to build a social life back up again. But usual things include going to the gym, watching TV/a film, chatting on the phone. I usually save meeting friends for the weekend when it's more relaxing, but will sometimes go for dinner or to the theatre.

No I'm a complete weirdo OP and the type to actually enjoy job interviews. I was up the front talking to the person who ran the walk, talked to everyone else on the walk (13 of us) and the other man who helped the leader by staying at the back. I had a great time and no one could get over that it was my first ever meet up. I'm very interested in people, I like to know why they do this, why they think that. I'm also really good at putting others at ease and connecting them to subjects of interest they share.

I have recently bought dc a dartboard and we've been having fun with that as a 3. I didn't think I'd like it but am suprisingly good at it.

These sorts of threads always confuse me. Why do so many people think that a fulfilling life only exists with a partner?!

I've been single forever. Love it. I live in central London so I've got loads on my doorstep. Most weeknights I'm out. I go to the theatre a lot, often alone because I prefer it, though also often with friends. Meet up with friends for drinks and dinner usually once or twice a week. Now the weather's warmer, I also love a night walk around London - I go for lovely long wanders by the river and have a good old nose into people's houses . I also do an online class one night a week in one of my hobbies, which is great fun.

If I'm in of a weeknight, I always cook a nice dinner, and then it depends - sometimes I'm in the middle of a great book and will just want to curl up and read, sometimes I'll be binge watching something on Netflix, sometimes I'll facetime friends/family, often I'll practice the piano, sometimes I'll work on whatever I'm currently writing. Occasionally I'll need to do a bit of work if I'm behind (I'm freelance).

Weekends it totally depends - sometimes I just want a quiet one, so I'll spend it pottering about at home, doing life admin, might bake a cake or something like that, catch up with friends over the phone etc. Sometimes I'll meet people for brunch/lunch/dinner/drinks, go to a gallery/museum or cinema, sometimes a matinee at the theatre, a walk on Hampstead Heath, etc. Sometimes I'll go away for a long weekend with a friend, sometimes I'll go and stay with family outside London. Sometimes I need to work, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'll spend all weekend in bed reading if that's what I fancy. Today I sat in the garden for most of the afternoon, soaking up the rays. It was bliss.

In short I do whatever I feel like doing. I love my life.

Key for me is that I have loads of hobbies and a wide circle of friends. Plus I find where I live endlessly interesting. Honestly just going for a walk is super entertaining as far as I'm concerned -there's always something new to notice in London, even though I've lived here all my life.

Embrace the freedom, OP - don't feel like you can't do stuff because you've got no one to do it with. Live your life!

If the weather is nice like today, l enjoy my garden in the day, then tend to potter doing odd jobs in the evening, l use my headphones alot, listen to different stuff on youtube as well as music, and at the moment l can just get lost for hours as l' m replanning part of the garden , so browsing through hundreds of different types of roses, climbers, arches to grow them up etc.
l actually look forward to my quiet evenings as l work in retail, so l appreciate the peace and quiet , l dont have a tv, and am never bored.

I'm not sure anyone does think that a fulfilling life only exists with a partner!

OP's asking for ideas, adjusting to her kids growing up and looking for examples of what other people like doing in the evening. It is a big adjustment, getting to the stage where your kids don't need you around/want to spend time with you when you've spent years being there for them as a lone parent.

Research projects and journal writing for the topics I'm researching.

Currently ancient egypt, biological nano particles for human enhancement, design of different bunkers, e.g. Mount weather, bunker 42, etc. Then General top ten lists to help plug my general knowledge information.
Sometimes military simulation training.

Then card game, magic the gathering, building decks and trying them out with friends.

For example en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagansky_Protected_Command_Point

@tuscangstring oh, a lot of women do. Certainly on mumsnet, anyway!

I get that was what the OP was asking for - I just find it odd when people genuinely have no idea what to do with their time. I can always happily fill my days so I just don't understand how other people struggle, I suppose.

Top of the pops 1995...remembering when I had a life!
Glass of wine now ..planning how to change this.

@Hawkins001 I love ancient Egypt. I also love pirate history!

[quote DragonOverTheMoon]@Hawkins001 I love ancient Egypt. I also love pirate history![/quote]
Pirates are also cool too, and intrigue with previous historical figures, Genghis Khan, attlia the hun, the various Egyptian nobility, but the problem is the further we go back in time, the more the information is more "less concrete with regards to historical accuracy"

Id love to be a historical time traveller, historian.

That would be the dream @Hawkins001

I might start looking into history a bit more. I've always loved it but I've been so busy with studying, working and then post grad studying I haven't learnt anything that isn't related to my job in a long time.

Mumsnet and jigsaws !

Feel your pain . I’ve been separated for a couple of years and also have teenage kids. It’s not my evenings that I find lonely so much as alternate weekends and holidays when the kids are with their dad. I don’t have family locally so end up doing stuff on my own. I’ve tried social stuff through Stitch, MeetUp etc and it’s never gone anywhere. Lots of forced small talk or pseudo dating. Online dating post Covid is even sadder than before. Now thinking of getting a pet to help with company. I’M 53 but not feeling ready for crochet, knitting etc. No disrespect but i’m Still physically fit so saving crafts for when I have less mobility

@DragonOverTheMoon

That would be the dream *@Hawkins001*

I might start looking into history a bit more. I've always loved it but I've been so busy with studying, working and then post grad studying I haven't learnt anything that isn't related to my job in a long time.

With me, at university, I was down in the dungeons so to speak, photocopying articles from archaeology archives, and researching egypt, and other topics of intrigue. Then the actual studies for my course were for afterwards. I know in hindsight I should of prioritised more, and been more social than I was, but I was happiest being a library bookworm.

@notapizzaeater

Mumsnet and jigsaws !

Some.hours can be spent on mumsnet, the only five mins, then it's holy smokes, an hour later etc

Consider getting a rescue dog. I have met loads of folk walking dog as something in common to start chatting about.

Joining a casual running or jog club.

Do a night class at college to meet new folk.

Watch TV without partner moaning! But you need events to look forward to, even if its a new release at cinema, or get a National Trust card and plan a road trip to visit a historical property ever other week.

Starting an MA in Fine Art in October. Preparing for that. I was never able to focus when children younger or DSTBXH mooching about. Feel I am making the best from the solitude.

@DDIJ

These sorts of threads always confuse me. Why do so many people think that a fulfilling life only exists with a partner?!

Nobody on this thread had ssid that

One might find oneself very alone after a later life divorce. Divorcees frequently lost mutual friends. Moving to a cheaper area is often necessary but this means starting afresh with friendships. Some people might not get asked anywhere ever again because their friends are all coupled up and don't know what to do with a singleton.

One might have teenagers after a prolonged period of being alone with younger children for a number of years and look for ideas to spend the new free time.

One might have spent one's twenties clubbing every night and fancy trying something less sweaty in their sixties.

One might simply be overwhelmed by choice.

Many threads about singledom are liberally peppered with the suggestion that one must be happy alone.

This is a lovely thread and there is nothing wrong with asking for ideas about how to spend an evening.

Where did I say there was anything wrong with asking? I just said I find it confusing, as someone who's always had many interests that have changed and developed over time. No matter what people's life circumstances, I don't understand how people can have no interests they're passionate about - even if they haven't been able to pursue them for a long time. It's genuinely mystifying to me. Not in a negative way - I was just expressing how different that is to my experience of life. I'm interested in so many things I don't have enough time in the day to do them all!

This is indeed a lovely supportive thread. I haven't said anything outside of the spirit of that. But yes the OP did suggest that life is not fulfilling without a partner - she specifically asked 'what makes you happy to be single' - implying that she wasn't happy with it. That's why I made the comment about how many women feel that life can't be fulfilling without a partner - there is a perception that happiness is harder to find when single. When it isn't. As evidenced in the many wonderful things people are describing about their lives on this thread.

Reading, mostly articles about all kinds of things. Have some red wine to block out some of the loneliness occasionally.

I’d love to go out but don’t have any available friends in my area. I’d like to start painting again, that might be a way to help make more friends.

Also OP if you're lonely and need to reboot your social life, you could try volunteering or doing an evening class in something you're interested in. I've made loads of new friends that way. You could also try joining a meetup group in your area - lots of them exist all over the country for various interests. It's a great way to get to know people and the awkwardness of meeting new people for the first time is eased by the fact that you're meeting to do something. Lots of people say gym classes for making friends but in my experience everyone just goes straight off home afterwards so that's not always useful. Studying and volunteering have been the best ways for me to meet new interesting people outside of work.

Absolutely anything I do or do not want to.

It varies from having a lazy TV binge session, to going to gym, hiking, and I recently started upcycling furniture.

It's great. I don't always want to meet up with people (I'm a real introvert) so I am genuinely happy to potter about and do things on my own.