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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My friend's husband at 55 :)

120 replies

Successgirl2022 · 15/04/2022 21:56

Hello, my friend is 42, her husband is 55.

She asked me to ask some lovely honest people on here so she doesn't have to register.

Her: My period has started. You've missed your sexy time chance (usually it's for 3? maximum 5 days).

Her husband: (They've been married for 17 years).' Hooray! I have a weekend/fortnight/month off (sex)!'

Her: 'So would you prefer me to find a replacement for that role then?' :). He hasn't said anything.

She would like to ask men as much as ladies. Is it funny, sarcasm, his age & lack of sex drive, or what? :).

She has always had twice as higher a sex drive than him but she has never pestered him for sex and was patiently waiting for him to truly want it with her himself.

Thank you

OP posts:

Blone · 16/04/2022 07:30

She asked me to ask some lovely honest people on here so she doesn't have to register.

Course "she" did!

You must think we're all stupid...

Momijin · 16/04/2022 07:34

Every man I have been with loved sex and would happily have it every day. But I've heard on here that not all men have high sex drives and if he's never had a high sex drive then it probably makes sense that he welcomes a reason not to.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 16/04/2022 07:34

It sounds like their sex life is pretty much over. Mine was at a similar age because DH just lost his drive. It makes me sad because I miss the closeness but I love him so I live with it.

They sound like they are being very passive aggressive about this - these supposedly jokey 'light hearted' comments about 'Yay -a sex break'/'should I look for a replacement then' are actually very angry communications. If all this is true there is more going on here than mismatched sex drives and they should consider counselling to get to the bottom of what's really going on and/or splitting up.

Riverlee · 16/04/2022 07:37

Sounds like banter to me. Her response (finding a replacement) is probably more weird than his response (time off).

LargeglassofRosePlease · 16/04/2022 07:40

WTF

For starters , it's not a 'friend' it's you op. And secondly, what a pointless nuts thread.

🙄

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 16/04/2022 07:43

I agree.

venusmay · 16/04/2022 07:45

My dp and I have similar sex drives but I know lots of people who are just very different in those ways.

I also think that with a lot of men the routine of sex becomes very boring. One of the big problems with marriage.

PermanentTemporary · 16/04/2022 07:48

April- the biscuit is supposed to mean 'i have nothing useful to say about this' but people use it in different ways. 15 years ago there was a webchat with Gordon Brown where he got asked about his favourite biscuit and it all got a bit confusing.

MmeMeursault · 16/04/2022 07:48

You on glue, love?

Beefcurtains79 · 16/04/2022 07:53

@Riverlee

Sounds like banter to me. Her response (finding a replacement) is probably more weird than his response (time off).

This. Your friend sounds like a sex pest who makes nasty threats when they don’t get what they think they are owed. Unpleasant stuff.

bobisbored · 16/04/2022 07:59

I'm 43, my partner is 54. That's not a conversation we'd ever have! We have lots of good sex, sometimes when I'm on my period if we fancy it. Why can't she just talk to him if she thinks there's a problem? A bit weird really.

Pinzotti · 16/04/2022 08:11

Honestly, why would someone ask their friend to post this on a forum?

Weird

LizzieSiddal · 16/04/2022 08:13

His response is probably because she said “sexy time”. It would put anyone off thinking of sex for about a month!

aprilsunshine777 · 16/04/2022 08:15

@PermanentTemporary Oh right! Thanks for this!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 16/04/2022 08:24

I’m 58. No interest on sex at all. I’m with the husband

Nanny0gg · 16/04/2022 08:57

@Clymene

This is all rather Abigail's Party.

Do you live in Essex OP?

[Confused]

RachelGreeneGreep · 16/04/2022 12:58

@Pinzotti

Honestly, why would someone ask their friend to post this on a forum?

Weird

Exactly. And who would want a friend to confide so much info

CambsAlways · 16/04/2022 17:25

Sexy time! God sounds like something from On the buses that Olive would say to Arthur 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Glumgal · 16/04/2022 18:26

I'm confused by the weekend/fortnight/month off comment too. Which was it? ...or did he genuinely say all 3 like that? I would take it as a joke but sounds as though the wife is feeling frustrated and taking things to heart. I would find the question about him preferring her to get it elsewhere to be a bit passive aggressive. Imagine if the roles were reversed and he had said that to her! Has she considered how that would make her feel? Also don't think it's an age thing. Many couples are just mismatched sexually. The whole conversation sounds a bit whiny and childish tbh.

MrsMop1964 · 20/04/2022 21:02

PermanentTemporary · 16/04/2022 07:48

I never knew that..I thought it was a sign of surprise.(and not in a good way) ie 'well that takes the biscuit!'

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