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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My friend's husband at 55 :)

120 replies

Successgirl2022 · 15/04/2022 21:56

Hello, my friend is 42, her husband is 55.

She asked me to ask some lovely honest people on here so she doesn't have to register.

Her: My period has started. You've missed your sexy time chance (usually it's for 3? maximum 5 days).

Her husband: (They've been married for 17 years).' Hooray! I have a weekend/fortnight/month off (sex)!'

Her: 'So would you prefer me to find a replacement for that role then?' :). He hasn't said anything.

She would like to ask men as much as ladies. Is it funny, sarcasm, his age & lack of sex drive, or what? :).

She has always had twice as higher a sex drive than him but she has never pestered him for sex and was patiently waiting for him to truly want it with her himself.

Thank you

OP posts:
SpinningMeSoftly · 15/04/2022 23:31

Does your friend tell you all her financial minutiae as well? Just asking for another friend.

milderchilly · 15/04/2022 23:31

What a lovely coincidence that you and your husband and your friend and her husband share the same age gaps and marriage years

me4real · 15/04/2022 23:33

Does being on your period mean you shouldn’t have sex then? I really didn’t know it was commonplace to abstain while on your period?

@Jinglebellsoncake It's really common. I think most women don't have sex on their period. I never had a problem with it, but a lot of men don't like the idea either.

@Successgirl2022 Unusual for a bloke. Is she disappointed by his attitude to sex? 55 isn't usually an age where men completely go off sex either. They might occasionally have more erection issues, and mellow a bit, but not relief at not having to do it at all.

potkettleblock · 15/04/2022 23:34

“Sexy time = sex”

Thanks for clarifying, I had no idea.

Strugglingtodomybest · 15/04/2022 23:35

She would like to ask men as much as ladies. Is it funny, sarcasm, his age & lack of sex drive, or what?

Is there a reason she can't ask him this?

ArtVandalay · 15/04/2022 23:38

‘Can you go onto that Mumsnet and ask a nonsensical question about my sex life for me?’

Yes, of course this happened.

Successgirl2022 · 15/04/2022 23:38

@BreakfastDinnerTea

Context is important.

Why was your friend pointing out he's missed his chance at sex? I can see it being said lighthearted and joking or in a passive aggressive way if she's wanting more sexual than him at the moment.

How did your friend want him to react when she announced she's got her period? The fact she suggested fucking someone else makes me me think she wasn't being lighthearted when she's announced her period.

It would very much be a joke convo in our house and I wouldn't think him joking back about a week off would warrant me asking if he'd prefer I slept with other men.

Some sexually frustrated/sexually deprived people (men & women) need regular good quality passionate sex with the person who is truly interested in passionate emotional sex with them and could be fed up with waiting for sex from a partner with a low/lower sex drive.

The same goes when the partner could feel pestered if their sex drive is low on average.

So there is nothing unusual here. It's quite a typical couples' life situation.

OP posts:
Wedonttalkaboutrats · 15/04/2022 23:39

A joke. Not intended to hurt, but acknowledging the fact that normally she wants it more than him.

Successgirl2022 · 15/04/2022 23:39

@potkettleblock

“Sexy time = sex”

Thanks for clarifying, I had no idea.

:)
OP posts:
Clymene · 15/04/2022 23:47

This is all rather Abigail's Party.

Do you live in Essex OP?

PurpleThursdays · 15/04/2022 23:48

As if this is even real. Its not your friend is it OP.

And if it is it's weird trying to decipher what is what in the third person. Complete non event and fucking weird to boot.

Summerfun54321 · 15/04/2022 23:51

I find this hard to believe. Why is she telling him about her period and that he’s missing out on sexy time? Sounds like teenagers talking rather than adults.

FlibbertyGiblets · 15/04/2022 23:53

Totes placemarking for the big Scooby Doo reveal.

IamAporcupine · 16/04/2022 00:05

@potkettleblock

“Sexy time = sex”

Thanks for clarifying, I had no idea.

Grin
Notbluepeter · 16/04/2022 00:06

What a load of old codswallop.

Mamanyt · 16/04/2022 00:10

The most unfair thing in life is that men peak sexually at about 19 years old, and women peak in their 30s or even 40s. What to do about it? Well, you can take care of things yourself, and let your uninterested spouse provide a good cuddle later, or you can go find a willing 19-year-old. I recommend the first if you otherwise appreciate the hubby, the second if you're just done with him.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 16/04/2022 00:12

I believe he was cracking a joke. And hopefully your friends replacement crack was a joke. But he may be miffed that his spouse is telling her friend about his sex drive. That is private, telling her real life friend, it is not the same as posting incognito on Mumsnet. Because you know him, she she have more respect. Just my opinion.

Ionlydomassiveones · 16/04/2022 00:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Clarinet1 · 16/04/2022 00:15

@Clymene

This is all rather Abigail's Party.

Do you live in Essex OP?

I was thinking George and Mildred!
me4real · 16/04/2022 00:19

he may be miffed that his spouse is telling her friend about his sex drive. That is private, telling her real life friend, it is not the same as posting incognito on Mumsnet. Because you know him, she she have more respect. Just my opinion.

I think it's important that women are able to talk about their experiences with their friends. If a bloke tried to restrict what a woman was allowed to say to her friends, that would be controlling.

excelledyourself · 16/04/2022 00:24

Her husband: (They've been married for 17 years).' Hooray! I have a weekend/fortnight/month off (sex)!'

This alone has me baffled.

Why would he have a fortnight or month off if her period only lasts 5 days max? Confused

And why do I care?

HeadacheGrey · 16/04/2022 00:38

@excelledyourself

Her husband: (They've been married for 17 years).' Hooray! I have a weekend/fortnight/month off (sex)!'

This alone has me baffled.

Why would he have a fortnight or month off if her period only lasts 5 days max? Confused

And why do I care?

Oh yes, wth? 🤣🤣

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 16/04/2022 01:17

I too was confused by the “weekend/fortnight/month”

Also this: “So there is nothing unusual here. It's quite a typical couples' life situation” — yes it is, I guess, so … why start a thread about it?

Cucumbersandwich75 · 16/04/2022 01:29

55 is young, my husband is 70, if he could get it daily he would take it. He simply has a high sex, still wants to experiment. Greedy bugger. My sex drive is on the wane at 67.

Willyoujustbequiet · 16/04/2022 01:50

No word of a lie....

In my circle of 40 somethings....every single woman has a higher sex drive than their partner

I've come to the realisation over the years that yes many men are desperate for it in their younger days but then it quickly changes with age.