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Relationships

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Original poster

DH's beard gives me the ick - WWYD?

92 replies

NotABeardFan · 10/04/2022 18:22

Over the last few months DH has grown a beard. I mentioned at the beginning it's not really my thing but I really can't stand it. It's not just the look, it's the feel. I don't want to kiss him any more which is obviously not good for our sex life.

I don't know how I can bring it up without hurting his feelings or even if I should, after all, it is his face! Wwyd?

OP posts:

ThistlesAndUnicorns · 10/04/2022 18:28

Beard conditioner maybe so it's softer?

Sorry can't be much help! If a man told a woman she had to have a particular hair cut or she must shave her full body because it feels nicer for them they'd probably get told to ltb!

I am a fan of beards myself but I can understand how it could bother you. Sadly, I don't think there's much you can do except hope it's just a phase for him! You could obviously mention to him it's a sensory thing for you, he might not be that bothered about keeping it or start to condition it so it's not as irritating.

FoggySpecs · 10/04/2022 18:31

My DH has one, I find it repulsive, so I haven't been near him in years. I secretly think of him as Mr Twit.

Pinkbonbon · 10/04/2022 18:32

Think you're just gonna have to be straight with him op. 'I love you and think your gorgeous but the beard gives me the boke. Sorry and I don't mean to be a dick but it just really gives me the heebie jeebies. And I'd rather like like be able to snog my own husband again. So can you lose it's, pretty please?'.

Totally getcha op, not saying some people don't suit a beard tbf but I still probably wouldn't want to get intimate with anyone with one.

Pinkbonbon · 10/04/2022 18:32

you're

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 10/04/2022 18:34

@FoggySpecs

My DH has one, I find it repulsive, so I haven't been near him in years. I secretly think of him as Mr Twit.

My first thought when I see a man with a beard 🤢

wishing3 · 10/04/2022 18:37

Can you say it makes your skin sore when you kiss, then it’s not like you’re dissing the look of it? Or at least say you prefer him without then he’s got the info in case it affects his decision. I ask my partners decision on haircuts and whilst I wouldn’t dream of just letting him decide for me o do take his opinion of what he thinks looks nice into account.

Knutface · 10/04/2022 18:39

Learn to love the hair. I love a hairy, sweaty man but maybe I am in the minority lol

underneaththeash · 10/04/2022 18:40

I don’t like beards either. I’d just stop kissing him…

Original poster

NotABeardFan · 10/04/2022 18:59

I've tried saying about the feel but he's since started conditioning and oiling it and all so it's not as bad. The problem is, kissing him still reminds me of when I was a kid and had to give polite kisses to various whiskered uncles. Nothing dodgy or anything but still blurgh!

And yes, very conscious that it is entirely his choice and I don't get a say which is why I'm questioning if I even should raise it.

OP posts:

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 10/04/2022 19:03

Tell him to try some beard oil

NoWordForFluffy · 10/04/2022 19:04

@Knutface

Learn to love the hair. I love a hairy, sweaty man but maybe I am in the minority lol

You can have my DH then! 🙈🤣

I can't stand the feel of his beard on my face when we kiss. He's upset I don't like it. Nobody wins. 😭😭

BoodleBug51 · 10/04/2022 19:04

Not my thing.

DH used to have a moustache in the 90s when we met. He kept asking me out and I said no chance with a hairy caterpillar living on your top lip.

He shaved it off. And it's never made a reappearance, thank christ.

Cakeandcoffee93 · 10/04/2022 19:05

Get him to a barbers to get it trimmed and shaped. I bet it will look hot then. Plus they put stuff on it to make it real soft and smell good

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 10/04/2022 19:08

How would you react if your husband said your body hair gave him the ick?

MaryAndHerNet · 10/04/2022 19:10

You tell him straight.

I don't like the beard.
You are more than welcome to keep it, it is absolutely your choice.
It is absolutely my choice to never kiss you or sleep with you ever again.

gamerchick · 10/04/2022 19:11

I told husband if he grew a beard then I would grow mine.

That was that.

gannett · 10/04/2022 19:18

DP used to have long hair before he met me. I told him very early on how I didn't find it attractive, and dropped it that this applied to hypothetical beards/moustaches as well. I'd never tell him what to do with his body but he has that information and there's never been a sign he might grow long hair, a beard or a moustache.

I think he once said he was't into blondes which was OK with me as I'm neither blonde nor have plans to go blonde.

I think it's reasonable to tell your partner "look babes, I'm just not into that look" without demanding they actually change it. You can say it with affection, don't say it gives you the ick.

VariationsonaTheme · 10/04/2022 19:18

@FoggySpecs

My DH has one, I find it repulsive, so I haven't been near him in years. I secretly think of him as Mr Twit.

Snap. I wouldn’t dream of trying to tell him what he can do with his body but I have made it clear how I feel about it.

teezletangler · 10/04/2022 19:19

And yes, very conscious that it is entirely his choice and I don't get a say which is why I'm questioning if I even should raise it.

Well it is his choice, but I think it's fair enough to take our partners' feelings into consideration when considering a big appearance change. DH slightly freaks out when I straighten my hair as he says it doesn't look like me. So I rarely do it. I also don't like the clean shaven look on him- he looks about 12! So he always keeps a very short beard and I am grateful for that as I am much more attached to that look.

Tulipblacksmith · 10/04/2022 19:24

I actually prefer my husband with a bit of a beard (not a massive one). He’s far too baby faced without one. When he shaves it I just jokingly say I prefer you with a beard.

You’re just going to have to tell him. What about if the shoe was on the other foot and you gained weight and your husband said it repulsed him? People would be up in arms on here, or is that different in some way? I’m happy to be corrected.

Original poster

NotABeardFan · 10/04/2022 19:27

I'm not going to tell DH anything about him gives me the ick because I love him and that would hurt him.

I'll try the humorous but straight approach, thanks all.

OP posts:

Helenahandkart · 10/04/2022 19:38

I find beards repulsive as well. Stubble is fine, but a longer soft beard is awful. I hate having to kiss bearded friends on the cheek. Lots of pps are suggesting beard oils etc, but for me making it softer would feel worse.
My husband knows that a beard is totally off limits, though I’m fine with a few days worth of stubble.
I don’t remove any body hair personally, so I’m aware of the double standard here, but women’s hair removal is loaded with political significance so I don’t think the two situations are directly comparable.
At some point beards will fall out of favour again and everyone will stop looking like the Joy of Sex man . That day can’t come soon enough.

Pinkbonbon · 10/04/2022 19:58

@YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj

How would you react if your husband said your body hair gave him the ick?

Thats not the same thing. Your face isn't an intimate body part. This is more like if someone got their nose pierced and you told them it gave you the ick.

But for what it's worth, if you'd always been completely bald down there and then suddenly decided to go full bush - I'd rather he told me he couldn't stand it than pretend he was OK with it and just never touched me again. Then I could decide what was more important to me. My partners attraction or my painstakingly grown jungle xD

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 10/04/2022 20:51

You are more than welcome to keep it, it is absolutely your choice.
It is absolutely my choice to never kiss you or sleep with you ever again.

So if you changed something about your look, and you really liked it, you would be okay if your partner said this to you?

Acheyknees · 10/04/2022 20:56

My DP grew one during lockdown, a great big monster of a beard. He looks like David Bellamy. I hate it, it puts years on him. The more I tell him I hate it, the more he grows it. I won't go to any social events with him now as I find it embarrassing

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