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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do you like and get on with your siblings ?

89 replies

newhoover · 09/04/2022 23:19

Hi everyone.

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings ?

Are you more or less successful than your siblings ?

OP posts:
BIWI · 09/04/2022 23:21

Are you scouting for stories?

JoyLurking9to5 · 09/04/2022 23:21

my relationship with my one brother is not bad because he's more successful than I am (he is) it's bad because he colludes with my parents scapegoating me and labelling me paranoid, sensitive, emotional, angry. He threw me under a bus for an easy life.

Original poster
newhoover · 09/04/2022 23:22

@JoyLurking9to5

my relationship with my one brother is not bad because he's more successful than I am (he is) it's bad because he colludes with my parents scapegoating me and labelling me paranoid, sensitive, emotional, angry. He threw me under a bus for an easy life.
That is terrible
OP posts:
EarthSight · 09/04/2022 23:22

I'd like to know why you are asking. What if everybody said 'Yes - totally' or 'No - not at all'? What would that mean for you and how would it change your current circumstances?

Forgive me for asking, but questions like this make it sound like the poster is either a journalist or a researcher when most women on here are here for some level of genuine interaction.

Wombat98 · 09/04/2022 23:23

Currently no. They humiliated me in front of DC & I've practically had a bit of a breakdown since, which has ended up with the realisation that they've always been pretty nasty to me. I'm now of an age where a line has been crossed & whilst it's upsetting & sad, they went too far treating me with unveiled contempt.

Advice on a postcard welcome...

BIWI · 09/04/2022 23:23

Agree @EarthSight

So what is it @newhoover?

Wombat98 · 09/04/2022 23:24

Or some free therapy, if you're a journo. 😁

pleasejustgjvemeabreak · 09/04/2022 23:24

What do you class as successful?

I have a bigger house and more nice holidays than my brother.

I don't think there is much between us as far as salaries are concerned!

Original poster
newhoover · 09/04/2022 23:26

@BIWI

Agree *@EarthSight*

So what is it @newhoover?

it`s just a discussion
OP posts:
dg93 · 09/04/2022 23:27

Depends really

I own a house have a partner and a 2 month old baby - he travels around the world in his camper van with her other half.

I think he would say I'm more successful but I would say he is as I think it's so nice to follow your dreams which is something I've never had enough confidence to do!

He definately has a much happier and adventurous life than I do

We do get on but we didn't growing up 😂

Original poster
newhoover · 09/04/2022 23:28

I don`t like my sister.

She has always had things better than me.

She got my parents when they were younger.

My grandparents when they were younger or some still alive.

Got sent to a better school.

Got to go to 6th form instead of college.

Always had better jobs.

Has a nicer house.

OP posts:
TabithaTittlemouse · 09/04/2022 23:31

Some (I have 7).
More successful in some ways but not in others (I have a lovely family, 1 sibling can’t have dc. I have a good job which I love. I don’t own my own home and probably never will).

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/04/2022 23:31

I get on well with my siblings when I see them but we’re not really in regular touch, I mainly just see them for family occasions and send messages on each other’s birthdays.

I would say my siblings are more successful than me although not by a huge margin. All of us went to uni and are in professional jobs (I’m a teacher) but my siblings are definitely earning more, maybe about £20k more than me. I’m also the only one in the family not to be in a long term relationship or to have much prospect of kids etc and I’m also the one with mental health issues so in that way I guess I am the least successful as well. I don’t think our different levels of success really effect the relationship though.

NauseousNancy · 09/04/2022 23:35

I adore mine. Would do anything for them, and them for me.

First choice of people to hang out with as we have so much fun.

Workyticket · 09/04/2022 23:39

No. Both of my brothers are selfish arses - both left my wedding straight after they'd had their meal. Only one of them.bothered getting us a wedding card.

Neither bother with my ds on his birthday/ Christmas despite me buying for all of their children and step children

Both are treated like prodigal sons by my parents while I get guilt tripped for wanting anything for myself.

Bodgerbarbara · 09/04/2022 23:45

Not your sisters fault, wasted energy being jealous.

Original poster
newhoover · 09/04/2022 23:48

@Bodgerbarbara

Not your sisters fault, wasted energy being jealous.
She has always had everything better than me.

I have been working since i was 14 and had next to nothing to show.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 09/04/2022 23:53

Sounds like the actual problem is your sister was treated very differently to you.

My brother was treated broadly the same and I don't get on with him. And am probably a bit more successful.

Haybo26 · 09/04/2022 23:57

No.

lessthanathirdofanacre · 10/04/2022 01:07

I used to be very close to my siblings. One has ASD so communicating is not always easy but the closeness remains and I feel quite protective of them.

The other sibling has become very hostile and aggressive to me since our mother died. Rather depressingly, their attitude stems from greed and the belief that they should receive a larger share of the inheritance while I should be the one to pay all the debts and fees in the estate. I don’t actually want any of the inheritance. I plan to give my share to my sibling who has ASD (which consists of my share of my mother’s house). But I absolutely will not pay the full amount of the debts and fees. My other sibling has lost their mind over this issue. It’s very painful as we used to be so close. But I expect we won’t have much contact in the future. I will always love them but their behaviour means I don’t like them very much.

In terms of success, I am the most successful financially of the siblings. I am far from wealthy but I own a house (with a mortgage) and have a professional career. My sibling with ASD has never worked. The other one fancies themselves an artiste and has always relied on our parents to subsidise their lifestyle.

Feckaffoutofit · 10/04/2022 01:15

More than I like and get on with anybody else.

AHungryCaterpillar · 10/04/2022 01:15

No haven’t spoken to my sister in 2 years after she made a malicious call about me to ss !

ConfusedByDesign · 10/04/2022 01:31

We all get on v well. One sibling has been more successful than the others if we’re talking about houses, cars and holidays but it doesn’t make a difference to the relationship.

DramaAlpaca · 10/04/2022 01:33

Yes

The same

MintJulia · 10/04/2022 01:57

I have five. I suppose I'm second in terms of material success. Third in academic success, but we all have reasonable standards of living.

I get on with all of them. Two I would trust with my life, the others are a bit too keen on sharing everything on Facebook.

We all went to the same school so no differences there. We're grown-ups, past the point of petty jealousies. We all have very different lives, we all have children. I'm the only single at the moment.

A fairly normal family I think.