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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you like and get on with your siblings ?

89 replies

newhoover · 09/04/2022 23:19

Hi everyone.

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings ?

Are you more or less successful than your siblings ?

OP posts:
WaveParticleDuality · 10/04/2022 02:59

You can't help order of birth OP.

I love mine very much, they are my favourite people other than my husband and children.

I'm the middle of five.

How are we defining success? Material? Relationship? Personal fulfilment? General fucking pleasedness with ourselves?

We'd all score pretty highly. We like ourselves. We like each other. What more do you want?

rolllan · 10/04/2022 03:07

I'm so lucky to have a great relationship with my sister now. I was horrible to her growing up. But so proud of her now and so grateful she ever forgave me

jimmydodgers · 10/04/2022 03:37

I have 3 all younger they are my best friends I don't go a day without talking to them.
They're all still at uni while I'm married with DC (they're all close in age I'm a good bit older)
We holiday together with mum and dad we have a family party for every birthday and sometimes just because.

They're my favourite people I'd do anything for them.

EthelsAuntie · 10/04/2022 03:49

My sister and I lost both our parents when we were young. I am 10 years older and have taken over as a mum figure. I was initially her guardian. Although she is a fully fledged adult now. I was barely an adult when I took on the role. I would not have done anything differently.
It was hugely difficult. Sometimes I felt I was missing out on nights out with my friends as I couldn't leave Dsis. She did all the usual teenage rebellion and it was tricky because she was right, "I wasn't her mum."
However, we have always loved each other dearly. I do think of her as almost my eldest child but I also know that I can rely on her 100%. I will always go out of my way to be there for her too.
We both have our own set of friends but nothing compares to my relationship with my sister.
Luckily, my DH has never questioned the way I am with my sister. They are really close too. He has been in her life longer than our dad. She values his opinion.
That is not to say it is all roses. She absolutely does my head in sometimes! However we always fix things and we never squabble for long.

AnastasiaRomanov · 10/04/2022 03:54

No.

rolllan · 10/04/2022 03:58

@EthelsAuntie you're a proper older sister.

EthelsAuntie · 10/04/2022 04:06

@rolllan, I am and I wouldnt have it any other way. Although it does bug me that I sometimes get mistaken for her mum in public! Do I look old enough to have an actual adult child?!?
My sister always thinks that is hilarious! Then she starts calling me "mummy dearest"
🙄🙄

rolllan · 10/04/2022 04:24

But she wouldn't be your baby sister if she didn't take the opportunity to tease you however old she is... hate it but can't not love it really

OLP2019 · 10/04/2022 04:58

Actually just started a post about this ! Thought I had a close relationship with sister only in recent months a few things she's done make me question if once parents are gone we'll even bother with one another !
She's jealous and judgemental and can't act like a normal friend always has to act like the older wiser one which is bizarre when we're all middle aged - the fact my dh and I have become more successful makes it even weirder with the put downs they give us !!
IT does make me sad that we have disconnected so much recently but I honestly put that all down to her

Rinatinabina · 10/04/2022 05:07

Yup, all good decent people. We’ve all fallen out at various points but we came from a shit home and that leaves scars. My favourite people in the world.

Probably me being the least successful on a personal level but as a couple we are probably the most comfortable. But I think the others will do better in the long run (I’m a bit older) and I sill be delighted for them.

SalsaLove · 10/04/2022 05:41

I love my brother. We enjoy hanging out and have a shared history. I don’t like my half sister at all. She got a psychology degree and diagnosed everyone in the family as narcissists. Pot kettle.

autienotnaughty · 10/04/2022 06:11

No dsis is 5 years older than me so not close in childhood in fact she bullied me. We went through a phase in our 20,s where we got a bit closer and would socialise together and hang out it worked for a few years but then she started slipping into her nasty habits again so I backed off a bit. Now we are in our 40's and not close at all, she can be really nasty in how she speaks to me so I tend to keep her at arms length. She doesn't have her own family so I'm conscious we are her family but attempts to include her generally end with me being attacked so I make less effort now. She use to be very close to my dc but when they hit teens she started falling out with them so they have backed away too.

timestheyarechanging · 10/04/2022 06:25

Yes. My sister is one of my best friends. We communicate daily and I know she's always there for me, as am I for her. We didn't get on when we were teens but since she had her first child (29yeats ago) we became close. She is wealthier than me but it doesn't bother me. We both own our houses but she has a high earning husband and I don't. She only works PT (15 hours a week - she's 53) and is a ' woman who lunches' but she helps me a lot. I'm a single parent with adult children. She's never helped me financially but emotionally and practically. We are a close family.

autumnboys · 10/04/2022 06:30

Yes, she’s the person I go to with pretty much everything. She has a better job than me, in my opinion, but there’s probably not a lot in it.

YouTubeRabbitHole · 10/04/2022 06:40

Two brothers, one older, one twin. Get on well with both, but have more in common with older brother. I love them both dearly.

Financially, they earn more and they have better careers. That said, after having children I consciously chose to downgrade as I wanted less stress and fewer hours for a better work/life balance which was the best thing I ever did. Due to divorce one bro has just got a mortgage at 50 and the other rents after divorce no.2 whereas I’m 26 years married and mortgage free. All have great kids. My older brother told me recently that he wished he had what I had, it was heartbreaking as I just want them both to be happy.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/04/2022 06:45

My sister is one of my favourite people in the world. My go to person with good or bad news. I think she’s a remarkable person and I love her a lot. I know I could always count on her and she on me. I know I’m very lucky to have her. Very lucky.

Holly60 · 10/04/2022 06:58

My brother is one of my best friends (along with my SIL). We got on as children, drifted as teenagers, then became close again when we both got into serious relationships, got married, and had children around the same time.

We are probably similar in terms of wealth, and very similar in terms of family dynamic and stability. Parents were totally fair and loving to both of us and there hasn’t been any rivalry or jealousy.

stiltonchese · 10/04/2022 07:35

I have one sister - we're very close now and have overcome our competitive relationship that was encouraged by bad parenting. We're both civil servants with similar salaries, I have larger household income and own property purely because of my DH. Couldn't live without her!

Curlyshabtree · 10/04/2022 07:47

Had a lovely evening with my DB and SIL last week! I love them dearly. I have kids they don’t, they still rent and i have a mortgage. Both on the same level of skintness I guess. We live opposite ends if the country but talk regularly. I know how lucky I am to have them in my life.

StarlightLady · 10/04/2022 08:23

My sister and l are both very close. We are UK born, with British parents, but brought up in France and l think that made us closer.

Eesha · 10/04/2022 08:26

God yes, she's the closest person to me and my rock. We've had lots of people comment on it wishing they had the same relationship with their siblings. I'm probably more forthright than her but lack confidence in certain things but she has more life skills in many ways. Like anyone really but I'm incredibly lucky.

notacooldad · 10/04/2022 08:33

I don`t like my sister.

She has always had things better than me.

She got my parents when they were younger.

My grandparents when they were younger or some still alive

Got sent to a better school

Got to go to 6th form instead of college.

Always had better jobs.

Has a nicer house
Why's all that your sisters fault.
You are the problem here.

I get in good with mine and enjoy meeting up with them. Some are mile off better than me, I'm more successful in some ways than others.
All good though.

secretsqizzle · 10/04/2022 08:35

Middle with older and younger brother. Exceptionally blessed.
My kids are exactly the same. Have NEVER (not even as small kids) been anything other than loving to each other. Never laid a finger on each other in anger.

It really is a huge blessing to have close family. Fills people with a real baseline of security to know there are people who will always support you.
I read on MN about so many fractured sibling relationships - which really makes me appreciate my luck.

TroysMammy · 10/04/2022 08:42

Yes but I wish she would give things back she has borrowed without me having to ask.

Badbaddog · 10/04/2022 09:11

I’ve disowned my eldest brother as he is a criminal.

I’m the youngest. My other brother is so different to me I can’t say I really get on with him. I’m hugely fond of him though and we both adore our very elderly father, so we liaise well about him. When dad is gone I don’t think we’ll have anything to do with each other.

I’m way more ‘successful’ than either of them and that means a lot to me because growing up I was ‘just a girl’. Ha!