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Original poster

Engagement rings and divorce

104 replies

bathsh3ba · 09/04/2022 17:23

Just a straw poll as I'm intrigued. If you are divorced, did you (or your wife) return engagement ring(s) when the marriage ended.

I know that etiquette wise they are a gift and don't have to be returned but personally I returned mine, even though I ended things due to his infidelity and abuse. It was a while ago now but I think my reason was I didn't want him having anything over me.

My boyfriend's ex-wife didn't return hers.

There clearly isn't a right or wrong answer but I'm interested to hear people's opinions and reasons.

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 09/04/2022 17:26

I didn’t have one but I wouldn’t have returned it, I’d have sold it though. DP’s ex gave hers back not sure if he asked for it or if she instigated it.

Greatoutdoors · 09/04/2022 17:29

No, I’ve got it in a jewellery box. The marriage turned sour but I have fond memories of getting engaged. I’m not sure what I’ll do with it in the long run.

Brakebackcyclebot · 09/04/2022 17:33

No, I sold them and bought something else.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/04/2022 17:34

Of course not. It belonged to me. It's not a loaner.

ConfusedNoMore · 09/04/2022 17:35

No, I think if engagement is broken you return but not divorce. Especially not of they're a shit! Grin

Bangendedscoots · 09/04/2022 17:36

I wouldn't give mine back if I get divorced, I'd keep it to pass on to my daughter or remake it into something else I think.

If I hadn't got married and we'd called off the wedding then I think I would have returned it.

bare · 09/04/2022 17:37

No, because you completed the engagement bit. I'd only return if it had been a dh family heirloom?

sunshinesupermum · 09/04/2022 17:37

After 30 years of marriage why would I return my engagement ring??? I gave it to DD2 who ad always liked it and the wedding ring to DD1.

xanthippe8 · 09/04/2022 17:38

I gave mine to our adult daughter.

Burnamer · 09/04/2022 17:39

No

hearmywomanlyroar · 09/04/2022 17:39

Agree with PP that I'd only return it if broke off engagement, not in event of divorce. Would save for DC or sell it. I'm always incredulous that people on tv throw rings into the sea - what a waste of money!

SandyY2K · 09/04/2022 17:39

You don't give them back. You give back the engagement ring if you break it off BEFORE the marriage.

Cherryblossoms85 · 09/04/2022 17:39

I'd only return it if the engagement was broken off. Otherwise it's just as much part of the marriage as all other assets.

SouperNoodle · 09/04/2022 17:40

I left my ex fiancé and he was infuriated that I kept the ring and told everyone about how evil I was and that I was a thief.
It was a £1100 ring and he'd paid £100 toward it which I gave back to him.
I'd paid the rest myself. 🙄

Rememberitwell · 09/04/2022 17:40

No I didn’t even think of it. Sold it for not a lot of money.

Butfirstcoffees · 09/04/2022 17:42

Nope. Sold them. Paid for mine and the kids first Christmas without him.

TheBigDilemma · 09/04/2022 17:42

My friend threw it out of the window in the middle of a discussion while driving on the motorway, my other friend threw it over a cemetery wall. Mine us still hanging around… the only reason I have not disposed of mine yet iis because I don’t want to learn when I sell it that it isn’t even a bloody diamond!

OhNoWhatYouGonnaDo · 09/04/2022 17:46

I kept mine. It wasn't a classic diamond solitaire and was a specific design I'd always wanted, even before I met my ex. We did factor in the cost of the ring when calculating a fair divorce settlement.

MySecretHistory · 09/04/2022 17:48

You offer them back
He declines (unless he is a shit). If they are family heirlooms he accepts and is not a shit

You do what you want with them

blobby10 · 09/04/2022 17:49

Still got mine - seriously considering selling the wedding ring to raise some money but my engagement ring is very pretty and I quite like it!

SoManyTshirts · 09/04/2022 17:50

I kept mine. I was well aware that XH1 would have presented it to the OW if I returned it.

Never wore it again, but I had my eternity rind reset.

OhNoWhatYouGonnaDo · 09/04/2022 17:50

DH wanted his ex to return hers, as it was a family heirloom (not very valuable, but had lots of sentimental value). She was reluctant, until it was valued as part of the divorce process and she learnt it was only worth around £65 (based on probate value) - she was very happy to give it back then! I think she must have assumed it was worth a lot more.

RuthW · 09/04/2022 17:54

Kept it. My adult daughter now wears it.

Justtobeclear · 09/04/2022 17:55

I sold mine and went for a night out with my friends to thank them for their support. 2nd hand it wasn’t worth much but it did pay for a enough bottles of Prosecco to have a memorable evening!!

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 09/04/2022 17:57

Nope. I didn’t return mine, even though the split was instigated by me (I experienced emotional, financial and sometimes physical abuse from ExH). I’ve kept the engagement and wedding ring, in case either of my sons would like to use them in the future.
Interestingly, when my ExH split from his second wife, (married after me), he did request the engagement ring back. But it was a LOT more expensive than the one he’d given me so I expect that’s why 😄

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