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Original poster

Engagement rings and divorce

104 replies

bathsh3ba · 09/04/2022 17:23

Just a straw poll as I'm intrigued. If you are divorced, did you (or your wife) return engagement ring(s) when the marriage ended.

I know that etiquette wise they are a gift and don't have to be returned but personally I returned mine, even though I ended things due to his infidelity and abuse. It was a while ago now but I think my reason was I didn't want him having anything over me.

My boyfriend's ex-wife didn't return hers.

There clearly isn't a right or wrong answer but I'm interested to hear people's opinions and reasons.

OP posts:
StarCourt · 09/04/2022 18:00

I've kept mine in case DD wants them when she's older

EatsQuorn · 09/04/2022 18:00

I passed it onto my daughter. I think the etiquette is return if it was a fami!y heirloom.

PlugUgly1980 · 09/04/2022 18:01

Sold both my engagement ring and wedding ring after I got divorced.

betrayedandwobbly · 09/04/2022 18:01

No, and I'll give it to DD one day.

But if it was a family heirloom from his family (it wasn't) I'd return it even if not legally required to.

LosingTheWill2022 · 09/04/2022 18:02

It wouldn't occur to me that anyone would return or ask for the return of an engagement ring when separating /divorcing

Original poster
bathsh3ba · 09/04/2022 18:04

I'm clearly unusual in returning mine then! Was quite satisfying leaving it on the kitchen counter though...

OP posts:
iRun2eatCake · 09/04/2022 18:06

Kept both rings and will pass on to DS.

They represented a good time in my and their Dads life - i.e the engagement and wedding day.

OldTinHat · 09/04/2022 18:09

I've had a few. I returned those where I called off the engagement. I kept the ones from where they called off the engagement and I also kept the ones from each of my marriages.

Hesma · 09/04/2022 18:10

Legally you don’t have to and they money that paid for everything came dying a joint account so I still have mine

MySecretHistory · 09/04/2022 18:12

Reminds me of story about a friend

He got engaged. Her family were jewellers and he got sent a bill for £5k for a ring- he was a bit shocked as they were both just graduated and in low paid graduate jobs. But he took out a loan and paid.

They spilt up about 10 years later still not married. very acrimonious - arguing about house and every penny. he put some stuff in our garage and asked me to sell some of it. By accident the ring was in there. It had a £10k insurance valuation on it.

I took it to various valuers (my family are in the trade) and maximum price was £650- turns out there was a major flaw in the very large stone. They must have known and ripped him off at the time

He took great pleasure in making sure she kept it and it was counted as part of the communal assets in the spilt and he even agreed a lower valuation of £8k (so £4k each). She tried like mad to get him to take it- so she knew.

Sideorderofchips · 09/04/2022 18:12

No I've kept mine to give to my daughters

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/04/2022 18:13

I kept mine, I wouldn't have offered it back.

lemongreentea · 09/04/2022 18:25

This

MySecretHistory · 09/04/2022 18:26

Just to be clear in my story. It was in the stuff because she had put it there and was saying he had £10k of family assets as he had the ring back.

Empra123 · 09/04/2022 18:28

Still got mine. Might wear it on a different finger eventually as I still like it. DD2 has my eternity ring and DS has my wedding ring. DD1 doesn't like jewellery!

GooodMythicalMorning · 09/04/2022 18:29

No, especially as I didn't break up the marriage. I've kept mine in my jewellery box for my daughter.

CallMeDaddy58 · 09/04/2022 18:35

My parents divorced when I was 5. My Mum gave me her rings when I became an adult.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 09/04/2022 18:37

No, I sold it to pay bills.

Eeksteek · 09/04/2022 18:42

They are not a gift. They are compensation for your soiled purity and reduction in marriagability if a man proposes, takes your virginity and then doesn’t marry you. Bloody patriarchy strikes again!

Basically, yet another way of getting you into bed. So you can keep the thing with a clear conscience. I still wear mine (partly because I have no interest another relationship now, and it signals that very simply, and partly because it’s the nicest and most expensive thing I’ve ever worn)

IstayedForTheFeminism · 09/04/2022 18:42

My mum pawned hers (many years ago) to fund Christmas. And her wedding ring.

My ex and I never actually married but I sold my engagement ring because my children needed feeding and I was skint.

Time40 · 09/04/2022 18:56

My friend threw it out of the window in the middle of a discussion while driving on the motorway, my other friend threw it over a cemetery wall

My god - does this happen a lot? The only time I've heard of this before is the famous story about Coleen throwing Wayne Rooney's ring into a squirrel sanctuary. I'm going to be keeping my eyes open for expensive chucked-away rings now.

Nat6999 · 09/04/2022 18:57

I cashed my engagement & wedding rings in the day after I left exh, I wish I had kept my wedding ring because it was unusual.

doitwithlove · 09/04/2022 19:11

I sold all my jewellery that exh had given me and was worth anything.

Got a few quid for it 👍🏼

Buildingthefuture · 09/04/2022 19:17

Ha! I did not return mine. He turned out to be a vicious, violent Twat, I sold them and went on a lovely trip to New York Smile

TimeToLose8 · 09/04/2022 19:20

I still have mine, my daughter doesn't want it, so I'm going to sell it to help pay for her wedding. It isn't worth much though, but every little will help