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Original poster

Friend's new boyfriend has 7 kids. Can it work out ?

127 replies

chattycaterpillar · 04/04/2022 21:52

Before anyone asks, I am not the friend. I'm pregnant, nauseous and not up for anything as remotely interesting as sex/ dating. My good friend, ( call her Lauren), is due to a "guideparent," ( having a non religous naming ceremony). Lauren is a lovely, kind girl who deserves the best, but hasn't always had the best of luck with love.

She's recently met a new guy online, ( call him James), three months ago. Her and James are now really close, she's staying most nights at his, she seems really happy with him. I was thrilled...but then she let slip James has seven kids.

James is 34, she is 27.

James as an 11 year old daughter with babymother 1.

James then went on to have a six year old daughter and five year old son with babymother 2.

He then went on to have a three year old daughter, 18 month old son and four month old twins with babymother 3. He says he and babymother 3 split when she was six months pregnant. He has regular contact with the eldest three children, ( my friend has met all three), but says mother 3 hasn't allowed him to see the youngest kids since they plit seven months ago, ( although he says he was allowed tosee the twins in hospital when they were born).

So my initial thoughts re more red flags than a soviet parade....( not seeing the youngest four kids, logging onto ating websites when ex was heavily pregnant with twins....) but my friend, ( who isn't normally like this), is besotted with him. He says he's happy to have kids 8/9 with her, he loves her etc.

To add balance, he seems to get on very well with mother's one and two, who have both been for drinks/ days out with the kids with him and my friend.

My friend is lovely and I want happiness for her. Every instinct is screaming this won't work....you're going to tell me i'm right , aren't you ?

OP posts:
Windbeneathmybingowings · 05/04/2022 10:18

Realistically How would it go if if was a woman to a man…-
And she had 7 children with different men…like our Prime Minister…

Well this is the situation with my family member and she is called both stupid or strong in equal measure.

UserError012345 · 05/04/2022 10:20

Tell her to run, run, run really quickly.

Giraffe888 · 05/04/2022 10:33

This has got hell written all over it!

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 05/04/2022 10:40

What a catch, eh?

What kind of man abandons the pregnant (6m with twins) mother of 2 young kids?

Oh, yeah. The one who has already left 2 other mothers of his children.

Tell "Lauren" to RUN make sure he uses condoms which she should supply and that she has her own contraceptive (pill etc) sorted too.

Otherwise, "Lauren" will be Number 4.🤦‍♀️

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2022 11:15

@WillSmithsRightHook

Realistically How would it go if if was a woman to a man…- And she had 7 children with different men…like our Prime Minister…
In your scenario would she be walking out on the men and leaving the children with them, then shacking up with another bloke, having a kid or two, walking out leaving him with the kids and repeat repeat repeat?

Because ime the difference between men who father children with a lot of women and women who have children by several different men is that the woman keeps and raises all her children and the man walks away from his and starts again.

ClaudiaHoops · 05/04/2022 12:50

You can't mother your friend, she's an adult and will do what she wants to do regardless of the sound advice she's given.

jytdtysrht · 05/04/2022 13:54

Tbh if Lauren can’t work this out for herself, then you should just leave her to it. I’d probably phase out someone who was that thick.

GentlemanJayFab · 05/04/2022 16:11

I once met a bloke who had 12 children by 11 different women. True story. Lol.

KirstenBlest · 05/04/2022 16:49

She met a man with month old twins and 5 other children online

That's one heck of a red flag parade

Octomore · 05/04/2022 16:51

He says he's happy to have kids 8/9 with her

He's saying this after THREE MONTHS?!

She needs to run far, far away from this sperm wielding psychopath.

MarshmallowSwede · 05/04/2022 16:52

He has a trail of women and children behind him and hasn’t created an intact home for any of his children.

He needs a vasectomy and if your friend also wants to be abandoned with a child or children then great go for it. But if she thinks this man is going to create a home with her when he hasn’t for 7 children before her then she’s misguided.

This man is a walking sperm donor and he needs to stop making children if he’s not going to actually stay with the mothers.

Octomore · 05/04/2022 16:57

I also agree with PP who say that Lauren doesn't sound like she's the sharpest tool in the box, not to have spotted the obvious issues with this dickhead. I mean, it's not as if he's hiding his previous bad behaviour from her, is it?

(Do you really want someone that thick to be guideparent to your child? I wouldn't.)

marmalade32 · 05/04/2022 17:19

No. Tell her to run
My ex had 4 by 2 mothers. Not getting on with the mother of your children to that extent is a massive red flag in itself. Hes an adult. He should be able to. My ex didn't get on with mum 2. And the upheaval was horrufic. I don't think mum 1 liked him but she was at least an adult about it for the kids. I stuck it out for 2 years stupidly and loved him, so didn't see it at the time
It's only looking back I can see it all.

Springhassprunggrasshasrizz · 05/04/2022 17:26

If he's paying CM for 7 DC, how much money has he got left each month to share with Lauren? Or has he moved in for free already? Hmm

Maskless · 05/04/2022 17:30

@Jk24

Willing to have dc 8 and 9 with Lauren then find babymother 5 for dc 10?
Sorry but that comment just made me choke on my tea!
TroysMammy · 05/04/2022 17:31

Lauren needs her own guide parent.

Limer · 05/04/2022 17:34

On what planet would anyone think James was potential boyfriend material? Lauren's standards are so low, they're on the floor.

2bazookas · 05/04/2022 17:41

I hope Lauren knows more about contraception than she does about men.

Vanderpump · 05/04/2022 18:31

I would run a mile

AhhhHereItGoes · 05/04/2022 21:30

One of the Dads in DD1s class is like this.

Was with DD1s friends Mum and had 2 kids.

Cheated on her with someone else, also 5 years ish younger.

Had 2 kids with her (well shes still late pregnancy number 2)

He's cheated on her with someone about 10 years younger and she's pregnant!

They always end up being around 25 when he starts going out with them and about 30 when he leaves them.

His original ex jokes with us we are all safe as we are all over 30.

I feel so sorry for his poor kids who are 11, 9, 4 and 8 months and 3 months gestation.

NowEvenBetter · 05/04/2022 21:39

Minging. A human version of an out-of-control fireman’s hose.
He needs neutered and a bucket of cold water thrown over him until he develops some self control.

NowEvenBetter · 05/04/2022 21:41

He’s not addicted to fathering kids, just ejaculating into any women in sight, really.

Notwithittoday · 05/04/2022 21:41

Lauren’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel

Starseeking · 06/04/2022 18:06

If Lauren is foolish enough to have DC 8 and 9 with him, he'll soon be moving on to DC 10.

Ask her what advice she would give to a friend who'd just met a guy with 7 DC by 3 different women, and tell her to follow that advice!

DatingDinosaur · 06/04/2022 18:47

Has James love-bombed Lauren? It all seems a bit quick/soon/hasty and she’s brushing her red flag feelings under the carpet (wouldn’t normally go for a bloke with 7 kids but hey-ho, he’s wonderful so bring it on). Love-bombing causes Rose-Tinted Specs Syndrome.

Hopefully she's completely sorted with birth control and will take a step back to think long and hard about whether he would be a good parent to any children they may have together.