Anyone ready to give up dating with me

[theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity]

Can't stomach another ghosting, a man who over promises and under delivers, a porn addict, a cheat, a liar, a skinflint , talking to a brick wall, misogynistic ideas ,
superiority complex, entitlement unreliable and downright disappointing encounter ever again
I cannot see any light in this dating game and as I get older I have higher expectations that I just refuse to lower for the sake of being part of a couple
I feel a bit down today x

Yes, gave up about a year ago. It's now so easy just to focus on me and I'm loving not feeling sad.

I’d like to be in a relationship but the latest man I had 2 dates with seemed to have anger issues (with exes etc) but said he’d been working on himself to be a better man.

On our last date I wasn’t sure if he was interested or not but in the car dropping me home he suddenly started talking about Tommy Robinson and defending him and then talking about Nigel Farage and why he’d never voted… I’d wished I’d driven to meet him then.

Currently on Happn and chatted to a few men but one seems to think I’m “naughty”, wild etc.

I’m just so fed up of the idiots and there are a lot out there!

I couldn't tolerate anger issues either @GonnaGetGoingReturns

You can't get a feel for someone off a picture or a few words. It's better getting to know someone in person to know if you click and have the same values etc. It can take a lot of dates to find that via OLD.

Yes I give up. I'm going to spend some time with me, my friends and family. I've been controlled to the point I can't go out my house or spend my own money, I've been cheated on, been with a narcissist, and childish, needy and all about him! And then my mum says she doesn't know what is up with ME!!

I give up. I'm going to be single for as long as possible so much happier

I've actually posted back in April 2022 on this thread and since then I have dabbled with OLD one and off a bit. Nope, it's still extremely underwhelming. I'm a solo mother by choice so not looking for a partner to have a child with/cohabit/marriage just someone I fancy (and them fancying you back), emotionally available and with their own life and interests. Sounds like a lot? Well, it's proving impossible! I've come across some really repressed men, angry (as someone pointed up upfront), bitter, resentful. In my case angry that I've gone on to have a child without them?! Making them feel redundant?! That's one one guy told me. But, I'd done that precisely because I couldn't meet anyone normal and willing to do this with! They seemed fine on text!

I don't have much free time so I'm glad I only wasted a handful of lunch breaks but it saddens me how much time I'd wasted before, genuinely hopeful that I'd meet a nice man to settle down with in my late 30s (I know I know I was very naïve!!). I don't know what to say, I'm good being single but I thought maybe this time round when I'm not looking for a "lot", it'd be easier?!...wrong! But, I'm also aware that attraction and genuinely fancying someone isn't something that happens often in real life too ... I don't meet any single men anywhere, so the apps seemed like the only option (like before), I guess I'll just leave it to fate now because I can't be doing OLD anymore.

Well, first time for years on OLD today, and my first ever dick pic. How depressing. It was a local Facebook dating group, fair play to the admin who immediately banned him. But wtf.

I was last on OLD 10 years ago and dick pics weren't really a thing, never had one. So is it getting worse? Mind you, even then 90% of my contacts were either 20+ years older looking for sexy fun, or 20 years younger looking for MILF sexy fun.

It's all shit but it's so much harder to meet new people than when I was young. Do people in their 20s still just go out and meet normally.

Men in my age group are generally either very unattractive grubby slobs or super-fit mountain bikers. Where are all the normal ones?

@pixie5121 I remember your previous astute posts about dating, and it's great to hear you achieved one of your major goals of buying a property - congratulations!

I agree that dating for most women, bar a few exceptions, the motivation and drive to be in a relationship (whether subtly/subconsciously) was about having child(ren). Absolutely the narrative to find a life partner was very strong throughout my life and for me and many solo mums by choice, it took a while, if not years for some, to separate the concepts of relationship and having a child alone via a sperm donor and go it alone. Many don't want to (not just due to the finances and support networks) but simply because it is deviant from the conventional.

Sorry to hear that someone you'd met turned out to be unsuitable, does it get easier to spot these things as you are more certain and assured of your choices now?

@pixie5121 such a good post. I think for me, when I realised the basic things I wanted in a partner (kindness, decent, solvent, emotionally available) were out of my grasp, I lost hope/interest and started focussing on myself. My family think I'm mad but after years flogging dead horses, what's the point!

I wouldn’t want to do that though until I’d really got to know them

1. stranger
2. unknown house
3. I can have a takeaway at home but it is treat rather than weekly
4. a takeaway is a lack of effort on a dates behalf

I have totally given up was on an app and my starter question was
’what was the last book you read, did you enjoy it?’

of the 50 people I matched with not one read a book - even the 10 people that said reading was a hobby

no one has the time ??

I then rephrased to include podcasts etc

nothing

so I deleted the lot

@Nailsandthesea
I agree with all you say. I certainly wouldn't dream of having a stranger in my house on the first date, probably not even the second either!

OLD.. what is it with people that repeatedly view ones profile but don't say "Hi", or if they do they block you when I return the message?
Oh and before I get jumped on my messages are always non sexual.
My profile mentions books and podcasts.
time I think!

See I think he thought he’d hidden these, but he told me about rows with various people/organisations etc. He did tell me he’d been working on himself to become a better person that a good woman would want to date, but not worked on himself hard enough!

Made me think I wouldn’t want to cross him. I listened to him twice on the phone for 30 mins or more go on about problems! No thanks!

pixie5121

I know what you mean
me and my girlfriends discuss this at length

I saw you said you might be interested in women
that could be a game changer
im not , sometimes I wish I was !

but I’ve seen you post before and I actually am curious and hopeful if this can be something that works for you

I'm with you op.
Was single for 3 years after my divorce and managed really well, good social life etc. I had a health scare and after recovery decided to join a dating site (fuck knows why!), met a bloke fairly quickly and we were together 3 years. But this guy had issues, hid them very well at first but after a year it became all one way traffic with me making the effort. I tried so hard to make it work but eventually called it quits a couple of days ago.
In my experience men drain me emotionally, physically and financially and give nothing in return.
A pp said she felt free after deciding to be single and that is exactly where I am and intend to stay.
I don't understand why finding a man is touted as being the fucking holy grail when in most cases it's just a massive disappointment.
I prefer my own company do do whatever I damned well please!

pixie5121

aweee . I’m persisting with dating this guy as he’s actually been fairly nice and open , he came my way , did some small things that were sweet
i don’t yet 100% lust after him but I like him enough to persist

I’ve seen how disenchanted your have become with men and I hope it works out !
have you ever been with a woman ?

Why not ? You enjoyed it last time

In my early 50s and just about given up on online dating.

In my 40s I went on lots of dates, some were awful. I dated a few men and they were all on the rebound and dumped me just as I was beginning to really like them.

I don't mind being single but when I'm ill or having a bad day there isn't anyone to help or talk to.