Anyone ready to give up dating with me

[theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity]

Can't stomach another ghosting, a man who over promises and under delivers, a porn addict, a cheat, a liar, a skinflint , talking to a brick wall, misogynistic ideas ,
superiority complex, entitlement unreliable and downright disappointing encounter ever again
I cannot see any light in this dating game and as I get older I have higher expectations that I just refuse to lower for the sake of being part of a couple
I feel a bit down today x

I think the normal ones quickly realise that the apps are not all they are cracked up to be.
Most single people (I know a fair few, good people, with careers and homes, no children and not looking to make children) I know have dabbled on them, met a few dates who turned out to be very disappointing, then leave the apps for good.
I do know of one tinder wedding (they live in Europe) but I don't know if anyone else who met a long term partner or is in a proper relationship with someone they met online.
The guys I've met are just looking for sex (they have hidden it well, until I don't want to pursue anything with them, then they tell me they were only looking for no-strings sex, despite telling me they were looking for a relationship) they were nice enough, but unfortunately I need to have feeling for someone to want to have sex with them (unless they are incredibly good looking, young and sexy, then I think my desire would kick in without my feelings needing to get involved!)

I've love an easy going 'light' relationship with a decent guy, but I'm not sure I'll find that on the apps so I just don't bother.
I'm a catch, but a bit of a hermit because I don't have any local single friends to go out on the pull with, so I think I'll be single for a long long time.

Its fine to be single and happy

but I don’t buy that 50% of the population are all defective

people are flawed

but as. pp said screening and boundaries are paramount

so you might only chat with one nice guy here and there
rather than 10 less nice ones a day

that said , I’m in a large city so I do come across more
in small town I’d probably say the same !!

You sound like a nice person. Have you tried e.g. (evening/daytime) leisure groups such as painting/book/gardening/ clubs etc. These are all low-key, enjoyable and you meet people with similar interests - a starting point. You don't have to be good at it, either.

You sound like a good catch!

Lots of men on Mumsnet.
Lots of women on Dadsnet.
I'm a decent guy never taken advantage of anyone. I have good manners.

Lots of men on Mumsnet.
Lots of women on Dadsnet.
I'm a decent guy never taken advantage of anyone. I have good manners.

Preach! 🙌x

@Renrute why are lots of women on dadsnet!

There does seem a lot more men in Mumsnet.

They generally hang out in the sex board and the relationship board and send private messages fishing for hook ups with the women on those boards. Who might also be men too!

Yes, relationships and dating threads. General chat or interests not so much. Some are clearly just looking to date. I just report anything like that and don't reply. You usually discover they've private messaged a few people.

I met my OH on online dating but I was 27. I think it's easier pre 35 and honestly I did meet a few awful men too. Generally though I had a pretty good run for the 7-8 months I did Bumble. I would definitely say you can still meet met in real life though. I had a great relationship with a guy I met on a plane having chatted at check in. Plus through uni, work colleagues etc.

A special catch.

@willowbough what does MN if you report them?
They haven't been rude...just the usual 'I don't normally do this' 'but you sound special' (puke!)

Yes, I'm sure they are doing it to loads of women on here, but I come on MN to talk to women, not men, and I don't appreciate them sliding into my dms uninvited?

It's only happened twice and it looked like they'd messaged more than one person on the threads. One had an incel tone wanting to know what it was I didn't like about men and how they'd like to discuss it further with me. Mumsnet contacted that one I think and asked them not to contact again I think they said. I'd already blocked anyway.

I don't mind a DM but not on the back of a dating/relationship thread from a man.

Tell me more🙂

I'm part of a women's walking group. If you suggest a 2-3 hr walk, no one is interested.@Shunter350 A nice outside walk or hike is not enough.

Most dating apps have no commercial interest (no matter what they say) in finding someone the perfect person for them. Why would they? You would no longer be a customer. Sure, they could rely on a fresh crop of single 20something people each year, but they would still be missing out on all the users that are older than that.

Therefore, I wouldn't be surprose that instead of giving you 80 - 100% compatibility matches, what they actually giving people is 60% or so. It's just about enough to hook someone in at the beginning but about 2 years down the line that person will be back on the app again.

Bumble is also hard or not simple to delete. They simply don't want you to find the perfect person and be able to easily delete their app

I sympatise.
Want to discuss it?🙂

Never give up!

I took a Chinese meal and a film to mean a nice evening out! I hope you find someone who does.

What does light mean? I always took that to mean no strings shagging which you don't want. Or do you mean lack of drama?

For me 'light' means:
no drama, no love-bombing, no over-whelming demands, no getting their feet under my table before earning their place there, showing up, consistency, but mostly fun and friendship and seeing/being open to where it goes (which is why FWB/FB doesn't work for me).
Equally I'm happy single (although I'm lonely, that's my fault for not making more effort) and I'm emotionally sensitive so I don't want my world rocked in a bad way, rather I want someone who I want around and wants to be around me.

I'm a bloke ( for reference) and I'm utterly fed up with OLD. I'm on Bumble ( everyone is a company director ), eHarmony ( find its interface really difficult), Tinder ( just ridiculous) and Match / OurTime ( easily the best interface).
I've been ghosted several times but also had two good relationships with nice women. Unfortunately distance doesn't work.
I wonder if OLD has given everyone the opportunity to look for perfection which doesn't exist?
But the whole experience is really hard work and dispiriting.

Yeah i just can't be bothered to get to know any more people, I'm tired of doing this dance

i'm in this gang for sure. i am getting fed up of having to stand my corner about "no, i will never have a relationship ever again ever". people are like why/don't rule it out/there's someone out there/what's wrong with you/never say never.

what's wrong with me is that i don't want tiny part of that ever ever ever again. and i'm content. and i can do whatever i want. utter utter joys tbh.