Married less than a year and considering ending it. Where does this leave me?

[Intorainbowvalley]

As the title says really, one child who is 1.

The main problem I can foresee is cost, as it stands we live in one house and have another (BTL) which was mine before I moved in here. I would like to move into the BTL, will make no claim on this house etc.

Any advice?

Serve your tenant with a section 21. Don't expect them to be out in less than 2 month though.

Sounds fairly straight forward then. How much notice do you need to give your existing tenants and would the mortgage provider allow you to convert the mortgage back to residential? Investigate what the fee for doing so would be.

Who is the higher earner? Any chance he will go after savings or pensions?

I do not understand what you mean by 'where does this leave me?' If you have enough money it will leave you OK and youw ill hopefully set up a sensible/suitable co-parenting arrangement.

I am sorry you are thinking of ending your marriage. No one should stay if they do not wish to but are you sure it is unresolvable, you are leaving at a time in the growth of a child where many people would gladly never see their partner again due to all the stresses and the exhaustion! But it may be something more fundamental of course.

What I mean by “where does this leave me” is what do I need to do next.

I do not have a lot of faith in solicitors but I suppose this is unavoidable?

It depends if they are going to be amicable or not. You can do it without a solicitor if you can agree the finances and custody arrangements between yourselves.

Is the BTL only in your name?
Is the house you're currently living in, in both names?
Is there an outstanding mortgage on either and in whose names?
Are there any children?
Are there any other shared assets or debts?

Ah, OK.

Eventually you need a solicitor for the divorce.

Do you want to separate first and divorce later or do both straightaway?

Do you think your DH will be reasonable or will there be arguments? Will it be easy to sort childcare? Do you have vaguely equal finances? Will they be devastated/shocked or has it been discussed already?

These questions all affect how it will go.

Sometimes it makes sense to organise things before you discuss it.

Sorry there one child.

Who will the child live with?
Will there be child maintenance or 50/50 split of custody?

Your priority, and that of your husband is the welfare of your child and how its needs will be met.

Will you be working, claiming benefits, co parenting, how much child maintenance will you need/ can your husband afford.You need to sit down with your husband and discuss these before you contact a solicitor, it will be cheaper and easier if you can reach agreement between you rather than get expensive solicitors to thrash it out between themselves.

Is the BTL only in your name? - no, both names, but it was mine before I moved in. I imagine he will ‘return’ it in exchange for me not making a claim to this house.

Is the house you're currently living in, in both names? Not at the moment.

Is there an outstanding mortgage on either and in whose names? Just the one we live in.

Are there any other shared assets or debts - no

Who will the child live with? - not sure yet, I haven’t told him.

Will there be child maintenance or 50/50 split of custody? Not sure.

You have to be married a year before you can get a divorce, but you're not really intending to leap into divorce at this stage, are you?

I didn’t know that.

you're not really intending to leap into divorce at this stage, are you why wouldn’t I be?

Who will the child live with? - not sure yet, I haven’t told him.

So you'd be happy with 50:50 custody or weekends only?

I apologise but I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.

You need to speak with a solicitor.

Sorry it hasnt worked out op, you are brave and wise not to try and push water uphill for another few years.

Id go to a solicitor asap just so you know what you can /cant do. Hopefully having yr own property will make the process less stressful xx

You can't file for divorce in the first year of marriage but that doesn't stop you from separating.

Serve notice on your tenant.

Talk to DH. As it has been a short marriage you may be able to agree to walk away with the assets you both brought to the marriage. You keep your property, he keeps his.

How will you share parenting? He'll need to pay you child maintenance if you are going to be the resident parent.

Once you've agreed how to split your finances, and arrangements for your child, go and see a solicitor.

I think what the PP is saying is that what happens with the residency of your child is important.
What is your H wants main residency?
What do you want?

Try and get someone to recommend a family lawyer. You really need to talk through legal details with someone. Make a(legal) plan of what you see happening.

Especially if you haven't told him.

You can transfer property ownership before a divorce (but read up on Govt website about this and capital gains tax as time limits apply for tax free transfers). Are you on mortgage current house? First thing is to check with mortgage companies that you each meet affordability tests for other to come off any mortgage/deeds. If so then it’s easy and the mortgage company usually have solicitors they recommend who do transfer and legal paperwork mostly done online - I just had go into bank once and sign / show ID. There was a set fee but it wasn’t huge. You can then sort divorce later (as transfer title doesn’t prevent a financial claim so still need a consent order etc).

I’d want to keep dc with me as much as possible but will have to see. I think it will come as a shock.

Are you saying that he is on the deeds of your house that you renting out but you aren't on the deeds for the house where you currently live together?

Yes, correct.

Are you saying there's no mortgage on your house?

On the one that DH is on the deeds of? Yes, correct.