Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Accepting its over

97 replies

Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 09:18

Hi. I just need someone to talk me down from losing all my dignity and begging for crumbs. My partner dumped me on Saturday after 4;years together, 3, living together, as they don’t love me any more and want to work on themselves. Just need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok and it’s for the best.

OP posts:
AddictedToOlives · 07/03/2022 09:20

Sending you a virtual hug / hand hold…
“This too shall pass” - hang in there

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 09:22

Thankyou. Just trying very hard to keep my dignity. They’re wandering round like a lost ghost at the mo because it’s my house and they can’t move until the weekend. I’m trying my best to be mature and calm but I just want to rant and rave.

OP posts:
antwacky · 07/03/2022 09:46

Ahh, that's awful. It must be extra difficult if he's still living there. Stay strong, don't beg. Can you at least have a rant to friend or family member to help ease the pressure? Flowers

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 10:04

I’ve just told my best friend and she immediately left flowers and chocolates on my doorstep. And now I know I have support, I think I’ll cope. Thankyou too xx

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/03/2022 10:06

Just trying very hard to keep my dignity. They’re wandering round like a lost ghost at the mo because it’s my house and they can’t move until the weekend.

This is your home. If you need him to get out right now, tell him so. Where he goes isn't your problem. I'm sorry this has happened, but you will definitely be better off.

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 10:10

Yeah, I was trying to be mature and kind. Cos we’re told to be kind, so I’ve given him until Friday. Apparently me telling everyone he’s dumped me is mean and I should just say we split amicably. My answer was no. He did this, he takes responsibility

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 07/03/2022 10:28

Its going to be okay Flowers

You have got through 2 days already, not long now until Friday. You can do this!

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 10:33

Thankyou. I always wondered why he didn’t like me being on mumsnet, now I know. I had to come off as part of a,if you really loved me you would deal and I was too stupid to see that big red flag.

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 07/03/2022 10:33

Dont ever lie to accommodate his feelings.
Tell the truth to anyone who asks.. any hassle and he is out the door.. now...
Stay strong.. make plans for the weekend.. anything.. swim.. manicure.. but an appointment or arrangement to meet with a friend.. keep busy..
That stiff upper lip will get you through. You really can do this.
Big hug!

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 10:37

Another friend is kidnapping me for drinks on Saturday, and I’ll go to church on Sunday. DD will also be over at the weekend . I also have many many crochet projects to do. Thankyou so much for all your support.

OP posts:
StopStartStop · 07/03/2022 10:39

Yes, keep busy. You'll be fine and he will resent that. No matter.

123baba · 07/03/2022 10:49

Keep strong, your better off without him x

UnconditionalSurrender · 07/03/2022 10:50

That's rubbish op but you are being ace. If they are being that much of a dick now hopefully you'll be glad to see the back of them by Friday. Fill your time, feel a bit sad and move onwards and upwards.

Hissugar · 07/03/2022 10:52

Sending you lots of hugs. It’s his loss. You are amazing and enough!

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 10:58

I’m not crying, you are. Thankyou all so so much for the support. DD has just offered to come home now, but she’s got enough on without living through this awkwardness. I’ll get there. I have some lovely friends and this thread. Xxx

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 07/03/2022 10:58

@Crcohetmonster

Yeah, I was trying to be mature and kind. Cos we’re told to be kind, so I’ve given him until Friday. Apparently me telling everyone he’s dumped me is mean and I should just say we split amicably. My answer was no. He did this, he takes responsibility
Well it’s not up to him what you tell people is it? He can leave now Being mature and kind doesn’t mean doing what’s best for him but not you
Orgasmagorical · 07/03/2022 10:58

@Crcohetmonster

Thankyou. I always wondered why he didn’t like me being on mumsnet, now I know. I had to come off as part of a,if you really loved me you would deal and I was too stupid to see that big red flag.
He sounds familiar. MN is a threat to many, it's too supportive for those in need.

Why can he not leave until Friday? He wanted to end it, he needs to deal with the consequences.

The only person you need to be kind to at the moment, OP, is yourself Flowers

SafeMove · 07/03/2022 10:59

He wouldn't let you be on MN? Let him work on himself. Sounds like he needs to!

GiantHaystacks2021 · 07/03/2022 11:00

He'd better be out of the house at the weekend.

You're a lot more charitable than I would be.
I would have thrown him out straight away.

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 11:08

Oh yes, no mumsnet and any fb friends he saw as controversial were also told to go. He got DD involved too. Anyone slightly feminist or who had views he didn’t agree with were problematic, and I was so caught up in it, I did it, to my everlasting shame. I can’t believe I was such an idiot. But now I will get there. Apparently he was going to dump me in a few weeks anyway, once he’d got sorted, but I preempted it by asking if anything was wrong. Oh well, onwards and upwards, with a lot of gin and crochet I’ll be fine.

OP posts:
IdblowJonSnow · 07/03/2022 11:12

I'd get shot of him now tbh!
And if you want to rant and rave then do! It's your bloody house!!

Weatherwax13 · 07/03/2022 11:14

No everlasting shame for you @Crcohetmonster. We've all made mistakes and misjudged people. You've seen the truth and that's what's important.
Tell him he can go to a hotel. You know now that he doesn't deserve your kindness.

WouldBeGood · 07/03/2022 11:14

Great idea to post here instead of being tempted to plead with him. You are doing the right thing!

Honestly, it seems awful now, but your life will be better without him.

My tip is to plan for and buy nice new bedding for when he goes: it sounds a small thing but helped me after someone recommended on here. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but just something you like! I raided b&m and transformed my room

WeddingFavour · 07/03/2022 11:16

Umm hopefully reading your posts back you can see for yourself you're far better off. Please ask him to leave today. Allowing him to leave the bulk of his things and collect them at the weekend would be very kind and generous. Letting him stay in your house is being made a mug of, IMO. Tell him to leave and get your daughter round for support.

Original poster
Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 11:21

I will. He’s at work now but as soon as he comes home I’ll tell him to leave. And yes to the bedding, I’m going to give my room a makeover, and make it mine again. He can’t afford a hotel lol, he can’t afford much to be honest, apart from the things he gets for himself. I’ll be glad when it’s all over and I can get back to being me.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread