Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Accepting its over

97 replies

Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 09:18

Hi. I just need someone to talk me down from losing all my dignity and begging for crumbs. My partner dumped me on Saturday after 4;years together, 3, living together, as they don’t love me any more and want to work on themselves. Just need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok and it’s for the best.

OP posts:

Rachie1973 · 07/03/2022 13:16

Glad you’re putting him out straight away! The cheek of him!!!!

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2022 13:19

No way do you need him torturing you til the weekend. He could easily have backtracked by then. Oh oops I changed my mind or I don’t have anywhere to go. You are worth more than this. You are worth fighting for you, your freedom and your friendships.

LostMyLastHatfulOfWords · 07/03/2022 13:23

@Crcohetmonster

Oh yes, no mumsnet and any fb friends he saw as controversial were also told to go. He got DD involved too. Anyone slightly feminist or who had views he didn’t agree with were problematic, and I was so caught up in it, I did it, to my everlasting shame. I can’t believe I was such an idiot. But now I will get there. Apparently he was going to dump me in a few weeks anyway, once he’d got sorted, but I preempted it by asking if anything was wrong. Oh well, onwards and upwards, with a lot of gin and crochet I’ll be fine.

Wow - you have been putting up with such a lot. He sounds so controlling - and now is oddly determined to hurt you for your resillience. There are MANY better men out there.

Losing him might be painful in someways (for a while)... but it is also going to be like shaking off a lead-backpack.

MunchyMonsters · 07/03/2022 13:51

Good move to get him gone OP!

Hope he leaves quietly - what a controlling arse.

Jaxinthebox · 07/03/2022 15:25

Please let us know how you are getting on. Its one thing to say it, another to do it and yet another to stay strong and follow through.

Id be highly suspicious of his "wanting to find/better himself" thats BS and we all know it.

Original poster

Crcohetmonster · 07/03/2022 17:06

He’s decided to eat out and is ignoring messages. Most of his stuff is in bags in the spare room. Doing the rest in a bit. My friends and I are planning my life without him. I’m going to become a ‘bad girl’. Apparently. They are keeping me going.

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 07/03/2022 17:13

"Decided to eat out" has he? I bet it's not a table for one!

Depending on the set up of the locks on your doors, it's really really simple and cheap to change the cylinder. You can easily do it yourself (see how on YouTube!).. You only have to change one. The other scan be deadlocked / bolted from the inside. I'd love to be there when to see his face when he realises his keys don't work!

Show him you mean business OP and this is now moving at YOUR pace, not his.

LostMyLastHatfulOfWords · 07/03/2022 17:13

Be ready for sweet-talking and back-tracking OP. Things are not going to his plan at the moment. (You should be pleading and suffering - and all in secret.)

Think about what is best for you - and stick to your guns.
It is not reasonable for him to stay on at yours in these circumstances.

PurpleFlower1983 · 07/03/2022 19:45

@Crcohetmonster

Keep strong OP. I would bet anything that he will be expecting you to plead him to stay and he will then want to ‘reluctantly’ try again because he does love you after all… it’s bullshit and he will have basically realised he has nowhere to go and is an absolute loser on his own. Please don’t listen to him if he does! I would just message saying your stuff is outside the door.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 07/03/2022 21:44

Yeah, I was trying to be mature and kind. Cos we’re told to be kind

By whom? That stupid hashtag? Be fair, be good to yourself, be reasonable, but that's all. Don't put yourself on the back foot.

CheshireChat · 07/03/2022 23:08

By all means be mature and kind. Mature enough that him lurking around indefinitely (or even until Friday) doesn't work for you. Kind enough to yourself to take steps to protect yourself.

HazelBite · 08/03/2022 13:10

How's it going OP?

Original poster

Crcohetmonster · 08/03/2022 14:50

All over. He is gone and I am moving on. Thankyou all for your support and strength xxx

OP posts:

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/03/2022 14:52

Fantastic news! Hope he didn't create any kind of scene when he left - and did you get the key back/change the locks?

Orgasmagorical · 08/03/2022 14:58

That's good to hear, Crcohetmonster, wishing you peace and happiness now

Original poster

Crcohetmonster · 08/03/2022 15:40

I did indeed get my key and the locks are going to be changed. All very amicable no scenes and now I can do what I want. Xx

OP posts:

MunchyMonsters · 08/03/2022 17:30

Amazing OP, seriously well done for not putting up with this crap.

Sassbott · 08/03/2022 21:14

Well done OP.

Bonbon21 · 08/03/2022 21:42

Your life begins here!!!
Enjoy your freedom... every minute of it!
And remember... in future... they have to be up to YOUR standard.. NO COMPROMISE!!
Be proud of yourself... and the example you are setting..

TAKE NO SHIT GIRL!!!

billy1966 · 08/03/2022 21:46

Nicely done OP👏👏👏

The very best of luck for the future.

Hopefullyoneday12 · 08/03/2022 21:57

OP you sound so cool. You're doing well. Keep going 😊

Pixiedust1234 · 09/03/2022 00:45

Well done op, now you have the rest of the week free instead of having to worry about Friday and him leaving. Must be such a relief for you

Flip

1 2 3 4