Why do men intermittently reach out

[Brightstar29]

Why do men who I’ve dated or spoken to in the past reach out randomly when I post a nice photo on social media, even when they were the ones to ghost/call things off originally? Most odd behaviour.

One who I was previously seeing and it ended badly due to his actions in January sent me a “how are you” text and I replied saying “sorry who is this” and haven’t had a response since May have been a bit petty but for all he knew I could well have deleted his number and I didn’t want to open up old wounds by getting into a conversation with him.

But the behaviour generally confuses me and annoys me sometimes as well.

They fancy a shag and they are seeing if you are up for it with their scintillating openers.

Because they want a shag.

Because they are in the four tops?

Exactly what the pp has said!
My ex does the same until I called him out on it.

Just seeing if you'd still be an option if they were desperate. Sadly.

Don't be confused by it.

It's borne of two attitudes/belief systems.

1. that women are constantly hoping to receive attention from men.

2. that women will be flattered by this attention and might have sex with them.

That's it.

They put feelers out periodically to amny women they have dated/chatted to/ghosted on the off chance that the women will be so geteful/excited/flattered that they will respond.

Most don't. We roll our eyes and ignore.

Some will respond and the man will then engage in polite chit chat usually followed by, "I've not met anyone who's made the impression thar you did," or "Would be great to catch up in person," or whatever.

Some of the women who responded will be content to have just wired away a few minutes engaging in chit chat. One or two will feel flattered and think he means it and will agree to meet.

Then he will do his best to woo them into bed.

Then they post on MN wondering why they've been ghosted again by someone who made the effort to get in touch with them after so long...

And the man will repeat.

That's literally it.

For a shag. Are you really that clueless?

They have nothing better going on and they are hoping for a posterity bonk.

Sad but true.

They want sex, or even just a bit of sexting to get them off/stroke their egos.

I always think that sort of man gets in touch late at night hoping that the woman will either have phone sex or actually drive or get a taxi to his place so that he can have sex with her and then she goes home again like some sort of Shag Fairy. They are so fucking lazy!

What’s worse is I know the one I was seeing October to January has started talking to someone else. Even if he did only mean it to be friendly he shouldn’t message someone he used to date so recently if he is speaking to someone else. Makes me think I had a lucky escape and I’m guessing I’ve probably ruffled his feathers a bit which is why he hasn’t replied. To be honest I’d deleted him off Facebook and forgotten I had him on Instagram which is where I posted photo.

You're giving too much headspace to this.

Just block and forget. He's not your problem.

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

Because they are in the four tops?

Excellent! what ever happened to good old contacting or getting in touch?

I’ll give you a clue. It rhymes with “fruity ball”

“Shag fairy” killed me off 😂👌🏼

PP are not wrong, I’ve known a few of these in my time. Sadly far too many of them about!

Don’t go there, they are never worth the trouble

Everyone has said it clearly.

Men like that are never contacting your to be friendly. Not sure if I've ever had a man contact me just to be friendly. They always wanted something.

He wants a shag or someone to dump on(therapist/money) or both.
This is why you should delete and block them so they can't pop up in the future.

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

Because they are in the four tops?

@HollowTalk

I always think that sort of man gets in touch late at night hoping that the woman will either have phone sex or actually drive or get a taxi to his place so that he can have sex with her and then she goes home again like some sort of Shag Fairy. They are so fucking lazy!

Shag fairy

He needs his ego boosting and wants you to answer.

Maybe twice a year, an ex from about 15 years ago now randomly messages me a typical 'hi not spoken for ages blah blah' on Facebook. I politely reply while it's general chit chat and asking after each others children, but when he wants to start reminiscing about our relationship I feel uncomfortable so end the conversation quickly. He seems to have taken the hint that I'm happily married and not interested in any flirty chats now though. fingers crossed

Think about it this way OP. If you were the new gf and yòu found that he'd sent a message to an ex, what would you automatically think?

They do it to have potential spares lined up in a sort of floating virtual harem they think they can call on should they need sex.

Shit like this is why everyone should read "Why Men Love Bitches"

The title is a bit misleading. The "bitch" is a description of how certain men and "nice" girls describe her, but really she is a woman who has boundaries and keeps them. She doesnt suddenly fall over herself to keep a man, so no booty calls after he has been out for a beer with his mates but comes home horny at midnight for example.

Once you have worked it out, no man will ever call you for an attempt at a booty call, they know that the only fuck they will get is a Fuck Off.

For a shag. They’ll be doing it with all their exes. If you don’t want the attention from them just block them.

@MintJulia - "posterity bonk", love it! 😂😂😂