husband watching porn behind my back

[ladycoleman]

married 29 yrs and still my husband watches porn ..don't know why ??

Men like porn
Men are very visual

Porn is a deal breaker for me. I told my boyfriend pretty early on. I can understand why it bothers you

@Wavypurple

Sadly it’s completely normal now.

Personally I think porn is a reprehensible business. Dehumanises women and promotes abuse. However, I think the percentage of men in the UK that don’t watch on a regular basis would be around 5%.

Not excusing it at all. It’s just how it is. A 50 year old wanking over a teenager whose life is now fucked forever is disgusting.

My thoughts exactly.

Agree. It’s grim. My DP says “but it’s so it’s not degrading/abuse etc” totally disagree with him, he just can’t accept that he’s willing to do that for his own gratification.

"Men like porn
Men are very visual" 🤨

Some (most?) people are visual -including women

Most women have an understanding that women in porn are not empowered, and that lots of men get off on seeing women being treated like shit

What about men using onlyfans or something similar, where the girls put themselves online and run it like any other business? If he wanted to watch girls who state that they loved taking their kit off for money and your partners were actually giving them a great life by paying them something, would you have the same issues then? I do agree that some women in porn are abused and in traditional porn, it’s hard to know which women choose to do it and which are coerced/forced, but I also feel that some women use this as a cover story for just not wanting their partner to look at a naked body. In my opinion, this needs as much questioning as men wanting to look at nude women.

It’s a funny one as I don’t recall ever reading a thread where men hate their wives watching porn. Plenty of women do watch it though or use pornographic material, so why aren’t men as insecure with their female partners?

It’s just the same in real life, with most men not minding their partners/wives having male friends but flip it round and so many women hate their partners having female friends - even more so if they’re attractive.

@Tranquilitybasehotelandcasino

It’s got absolutely fuck all to do with women being ‘insecure’ or not wanting their partner to look at a naked body. Are you completely thick??
It’s about the abuse and degradation of women.
Of course some men don’t care if their wives watch it. It’s not men being abused or degraded is it.

The whole ‘you’re insecure’ bullshit is raked out every fucking time. I’m not the least bit insecure. But I could not find a man remotely attractive who got off on watching men fucking up women, who they have no clue actually are consenting, like it’s ‘just entertainment’.

I’m not a massive porn fan

But from a supply and demand perspective it’s pretty obvious that men like porn
And Pornbub is primarily targeted at men , certainly it’s not my cup of tea

It is what it is

@Bookworm20 We’ll agree to disagree. Some porn is made by women who want to do it and enjoy their work, they make good money from it and would be horrified by claims that they’re bound to be abused and degraded - in fact, suggesting that all women are abused and degraded is quite insulting.

However, I guarantee that the women on here that dislike porn because it’s ‘abuse and degrading’ still wouldn’t like their partners viewing ethical porn by women that are perfectly happy to perform for them.

What about porn where normal couples perform and upload themselves? Would you be uptight about your partners and husbands viewing this?

Call me thick or whatever but I think a lot of men are controlled in various ways by insecure women who think their partners shouldn’t dare to look at another woman once they’re in a relationship. It’s quite sad really.

@Tranquilitybasehotelandcasino you're fighting a losing battle. The prevailing attitude is that even if it is evidently a woman's free choice (as per OF) then it's not really their own free will cos they are oppressed by the 'patriarchy'. Which is kinda insulting to us.

[quote SauceGirl]@Tranquilitybasehotelandcasino you're fighting a losing battle. The prevailing attitude is that even if it is evidently a woman's free choice (as per OF) then it's not really their own free will cos they are oppressed by the 'patriarchy'. Which is kinda insulting to us.[/quote]
I don't think that no women do it because they want to and are totally fine with it. I think some probably are. Many, even.

The point is that people who watch porn / go to strip clubs / visit prostitutes cannot know which ones are ok and which ones are coerced / trafficked - abused.

But they're willing to take the risk to have a wank. That's what I have an issue with.

watching porn really isnt the sin everyone makes out, everyone does it married or not, its not real its just a fantasy and its not exactly physical cheating is it, theyre not going to meet the porn stars in real life, its either let them watch porn or have them humping your leg all the time so at least we get a break

@Person123456

watching porn really isnt the sin everyone makes out, everyone does it married or not, its not real its just a fantasy and its not exactly physical cheating is it, theyre not going to meet the porn stars in real life, its either let them watch porn or have them humping your leg all the time so at least we get a break

Jesus, raise your bar when it comes to men.

Sex is a mutual activity for both people to enjoy, not something that women have to just put up with for fear of the 'leg humping' you describe.

Sex isn't something women begrudgingly 'give' men in a healthy relationship. It's something they enjoy when they're in the mood. If there's a big mismatch then the relationship should be over rather than a woman having to resign herself to a partner on a different page when it comes to sex and is happy to risk watching coerced / trafficked women being abused on camera. Because viewers can't know which ones are genuinely into it and which ones are pretending.

@Person123456

watching porn really isnt the sin everyone makes out, everyone does it married or not, its not real its just a fantasy and its not exactly physical cheating is it, theyre not going to meet the porn stars in real life, its either let them watch porn or have them humping your leg all the time so at least we get a break

I cannot imagine being in a relationship where I'm desperately craving 'a break' from unwanted sexual advances from a bloke. That isn't a relationship anyone should be in.

@youvegottenminuteslynn Not all porn is women being banged senseless by men, it can include the stuff on sites like Only Fans, where girls run their own business and show what they want for a subscription.

So what if women do it to pay their bills and not just for fun. What about blokes stripping on stage (Dreamboys etc that women are happy to pay to watch)? They’re all probably doing it for money, but that’s no different to someone working for a company to pay their bills and having to do as they’re asked. Only difference is they’re earning a hell of a lot more.

You do know that sex can just be sex and doesn’t have to something that is reserved for married people in long-term relationships. It takes many forms - some want loving relationship sex, others might want one-night-stand/Tinder sex, some go to clubs and let others use them because that turns them on and others may enjoy selling it and doing it publicly. Why do women have to love their job when they do sex work, but it doesn’t matter that they hate their job if they work in an office - for some, they don’t see the difference. It all depends on what sex means to you.

@youvegottenminuteslynn FYI i was exaggerating a bit for dramatic effect, obviously what i said as described isnt healthy, dont take it so seriously

@Wavypurple

Sadly it’s completely normal now.

Personally I think porn is a reprehensible business. Dehumanises women and promotes abuse. However, I think the percentage of men in the UK that don’t watch on a regular basis would be around 5%.

Not excusing it at all. It’s just how it is. A 50 year old wanking over a teenager whose life is now fucked forever is disgusting.

Agree with this. It's vile and disgusting. Don't put up with it just because others do OP. And don't feel that you have to accept it because others do.

are people seriously bringing wokeness into porn, i think its time i moves to wales or europe

@capricornbracelet

Agree. Porn is a dealbreaker for me.

My ex was addicted to it, could only finish with his hand and was also closeted and watching all sorts.

So yeah. I'm not going to date a guy that watches it.

Dgaf what anyone says, it's vile, degrading, abusive and fucking people up.

It's sad and gross that men get off watching women get abused, and whatever else they're watching.

Tbh I actually don't think a lot of men claiming to be 'straight' actually are.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Men like porn Men are very visual

Yep classic excuse and encouragement for it.

Eye roll.

@Villanelle17

Porn is a deal breaker for me. I told my boyfriend pretty early on. I can understand why it bothers you

Yes girl. Go you.

@Person123456

watching porn really isnt the sin everyone makes out, everyone does it married or not, its not real its just a fantasy and its not exactly physical cheating is it, theyre not going to meet the porn stars in real life, its either let them watch porn or have them humping your leg all the time so at least we get a break

WTF.

some men hand over thousands of pounds of their hard earned wages to women who only show their bodies on camera, whos really being taken advantage of, its all about perspective as usual

@Tranquilitybasehotelandcasino the more I read of this interminably repetitive issue the more I agree with you. Arguments about ethics or effect upon sex life may be genuine and valid up to a point, but one can tell they are not actually the motivation behind the anti-porn feeling, because in situations where those arguments don't apply the feeling still persists.

I think a lot of women dislike porn because they want their partner's sexual self to be entirely, or almost entirely, monogamously focused on them, and find the idea that there is this enormous promiscuous raging bull stomping around inside the male psyche variously distasteful, incomprehensible, undignified, inconvenient or threatening. This is quite reasonable (it is, in many ways, all of those things), but honesty about it would probably be more fruitful.

@ladycoleman

married 29 yrs and still my husband watches porn ..don't know why ??

Because it satisfies a different need to that your relationship satsifies.