Boyfriend googling neighbour

[Karajane1]

We have a neighbour, she's pretty, I get that. My boyfriend recently spoke to her about some work that needed doing on our property.
All fine. However, I've just seen that my boyfriend has googled her. Ok, fine. But he's googling her name xx and our postcode. He finds her surname, then Google's her surname, then looking her up on Instagram. Ok, fine. But I looked and this wasn't the first time he has tried to find her.

I can't understand why someone would go to the effort of trying to find someones surname, to then trying to find her on Instagram etc

Is this normal?

Sounds to me like he fancies her and wants to do some internet stalking.

He has a crush and is being creepy.

Is it normal to go to that extent or effort in finding her?

Not normal at all . Very creepy

He totally fancies her

I've totally stalked people using similar techniques.

I don't think it's necessary the stalking that bothers me, I think it's the level her went to to find her and the fact that once wasn't enough. It seems to be when he talks to her. I could understand totally if she was a friend suggestion or a friend of a friend but she isn't, he had to go onto some phone book website to find her surname.

I'm loosing sight of what's normal.

It's not normal. He seems to be hoping something will happen with her.

Just fuck him our of your life.

You desseve beter.

Out

Oopa.

It's normal-ish if you fancy someone. Which he shouldn't do because he's with you! How did you find out about it?

It would be over.
Bin.

@BookkeeperBobby

It's normal-ish if you fancy someone. Which he shouldn't do because he's with you! How did you find out about it?

I looked through his phone, I'd never ever done it before, on everything I have and never thought I would. I know I'm bad for looking but something feels off.

I don't even care about her in itself, I just don't know what he was wanting to achieve from it. I have googled people in the past, men and women, but one of the times he googled her was the day before he proposed! I mean, why?

Welcome to MN and your b/f is been creepy.

Because he is interested in her. It's time to leave him. Why do you think he is doing this? There is only one reason.

Because he's hoping for bikini pics on Instagram. Simple as that, he's looking for something to wank over.

@Fuckitsstillraining

Because he's hoping for bikini pics on Instagram. Simple as that, he's looking for something to wank over.

Is this what most men would do in all reality?

He could just be being nosey. I've done similar. Part-nosiness, part-challenge.

I can only comment as a female who goes out with men (perhaps women are just as bad)

But this is typical behaviour of certain men. When we get involved or interested in a person via the Internet we are publicly showing it off. It's a dangerous road to go down when you have a partner. It instantly makes you feel rubbish.

I would ask him. Be honest you got vibes he was attracted to her and you've seen he's been looking her up. Ask him why he's doing that when he's with you and tell him it's making you feel absolutely rubbish and worried how far he would go. Tell him the first sign of him being inappropriate and you'll be ending it.

I can't stand men doing this.

I think this is more normal than previous posters think (let's be honest if you're online dating of course you Google the person). I know I have BUT it's usually is I'm attracted to them and trying to find a way to make a connection

This is not a good sign for someone who's in a committed relationship

Eww. Not normal. Weird and stalker-y

I don't think it's necessary the stalking that bothers me

Really?

I think it's the level her went to to find her and the fact that once wasn't enough

Because this is kind of the definition of stalking. Via internet anyway.

(Even autocorrect thought due to my word history on this post that that next word should have been "Viagra" not a word I've ever had cause to type before either! Even my phone knows he's a wanker OP)

He could just be being nosey. I've done similar. Part-nosiness, part-challenge.

Same. It’s the digital version of standing at the window twitching the curtains.

@Summerfun54321

He could just be being nosey. I've done similar. Part-nosiness, part-challenge.

Same. It’s the digital version of standing at the window twitching the curtains.

It's not general nosiness, though, is it.

The motivation is sexual attraction, and trying to find images of her to indulge that sexual attraction.

To answer your question op, I have no.idea what percentage of men would do something like this, but to me it seems creepy and inappropriate when in a serious relationship.

I can certainly understand why you feel his marriage proposal is icky/a bit tainted by knowing he was searching for details and images if your pretty neighbour hours beforehand.