Boyfriend googling neighbour

[Karajane1]

We have a neighbour, she's pretty, I get that. My boyfriend recently spoke to her about some work that needed doing on our property.
All fine. However, I've just seen that my boyfriend has googled her. Ok, fine. But he's googling her name xx and our postcode. He finds her surname, then Google's her surname, then looking her up on Instagram. Ok, fine. But I looked and this wasn't the first time he has tried to find her.

I can't understand why someone would go to the effort of trying to find someones surname, to then trying to find her on Instagram etc

Is this normal?

He's a creep

Honestly I would just have to ask him why he was doing it.

@grapewines

I don't think it's necessary the stalking that bothers me

It should. It's creepy. He's being a creep.

If we're just talking about nosiness he's only digging through publicly available information. It's @Karajane1 who is going through her partners' phone. That's much worse

Is it normal? Probably yes, lots of people look up neighbours or work colleagues.

Is it ok in this instance? Probably not.

Im nosy. I look people up online when I’m bored and it satisfies me that I can find out so much about people. I dint fancy any of them. Not sure this helps you though....

[quote Littlebylittlelittle]@Ticksallboxes

Also if what you say is true and men are not designed to be monogomous why would or should we have relationships with them
Isn’t that just fighting what you consider to be ‘nature’
Trying someone to monogamy that doesn’t have it in their nature seems completely wrong and no relationship thag I’d enter. . Imagine a man gets on one knee and says
My love will you marry me
I don’t want to be monogamous but I’ll try
Because it’s going to be a massive problem for me just having boring old you to have sex with , I’ll have to jerk off to other women 😂[/quote]
That in a nutshell is marriage and long term relationships for you IME.

I've been with my DH for almost two decades. I know he finds me attractive but I'd be naive to think he wasn't sometimes fantasising about other women and, who knows, maybe sometimes Googling someone he's met in real life to facilitate this.

And yes he would be mortified if he found out I was doing the same, as he knows women don't usually have the same sex drive, so it would probably be a lot more threatening to him.

I think the main consideration is how he is acting around her and if he is engineering ways to see / speak to her.

Googling people and refining your searches is something so many of us do these days and isn’t always creepy. Just, curious / nosey / bored.

I’ve googled my married couple neighbours, I wanted to know what their surname was, I guess I am just a nosey fecker.

Would he have done any of those things if she were plain/ugly looking?

I doubt it.

@Ticksallboxes

So he had a double standard and yoh are both ok with that . That sounds very Victorian tbh and not reality
Its your choice of course if you happy with thag but many women Wouldn’t be and I dare say your husband would be in for a very rude shock if he were ever to find himself in a relationship withmany women are also highly driven by Sex and not naturally monogomous

I’ve lived in my home for eleven years, get on well with both NND. I don’t know either of their surnames.

Wow poor neighbour. I hope she is safe. A man being this obsessive never bodes well, I always wonder what the partners/wives of men who end up attacking women (worst case Wayne Couzens) feel.
Like, if they had any red flags about abnormal behaviour and how they reacted to those red flags. Its interesting to see your thought process OP

not normal and very creepy. Sorry OP.

Dump if he does anything else

In an age of readily accessible hardcore porn, very few men are getting off to fully clothed pictures of average women. Even if they are, I doubt they're googling when everyone knows Instagram (or Facebook for the older crowd) is where holiday pictures go.

A lot of people "internet research" their neighbours. I found out one of my neighbours was a UFC fighter this way. I even watched a few of his fight (no wanking involved, I just train martial arts and found it interesting). I've spoken maybe 2 words to the guy.

You can leave him for whatever reason you want, but if the issue is the wanking, he probably wasn't doing that. You can always ask him what he was aiming to achieve, but the conclusions people are coming to are pretty wild.

I don't think it's necessary the stalking that bothers me 🤨

Maybe he's really nosy! Im nosy: and bored and i like to think id be a good detective