Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

Time to message Gellar and put in your boundary that your life is none of his business!!!

Just wondering....would it have been ok if it had been a SHORT man with a POT PLANT!?

His comment about not having 'discussed this' and 'not acceptable' shows me that he still feels that he has the right to control you/your life. He may have said 'we haven't discussed this' but what he really meant was 'I haven't given you permission'. Because he sure in hell wouldn't think he had to 'discuss' his romantic life with you!

I agree with @RandomMess It's time to grind his presumption into the dirt like a bug.

WOW. Polly. What a woman you are. I have just spent three hours reading all of your posts when I should have been doing house stuff but, hey, it's been worth it. I shall keep up to date from now!

@AcrossthePond55

Just wondering....would it have been ok if it had been a SHORT man with a POT PLANT!?

His comment about not having 'discussed this' and 'not acceptable' shows me that he still feels that he has the right to control you/your life. He may have said 'we haven't discussed this' but what he really meant was 'I haven't given you permission'. Because he sure in hell wouldn't think he had to 'discuss' his romantic life with you!

I agree with @RandomMess It's time to grind his presumption into the dirt like a bug.

I'd have been asking what Polly was doing with my DP, that's what would have happened .

I packed him off to my work one day with instructions to buy some flowers for a colleague who was leaving whilst I was self isolating. I got sent a photo back with a story about how half the office was scandalised about this man with a bloody lovely better than any he'd ever bought for me bouquet had come in, spoken to her very quietly and then left without explaining himself to anybody sticking their beak in being politely interested.

They still gossip about her mystery 'admirer' from time to time even now. I've not said anything because I rather like the idea of them thinking of her as some sort of femme fatale.

If I were Polly, I'd be quite tempted to make sure I had regular bunches of fresh flowers and plants that could have been presents in the house every time he turned up. After all, he's already puffed up like an insulted Turkey once - it'll serve him right to be wondering where they're coming from.

@StuckInPollyannaMode

Geller is such a twat!

But, why was he even inside your house , if he could see a tall man at the door?
I thought you were not going to ever let him inside your house.?
All pick ups at the doorstep?

(Which would be a perfectly reasonable boundary for you to set)

A bit confused.

Ah, was he watching, outside?

So the next missive from Geller is going to include a moralistic rant about appropriate dating behaviour and the need for his permission, right? Bleurgh??? I loooooove the description of him as an ergot, except that ergot serves a purpose - to make wine sweeter. (I guess he would drive anyone to drink, but that’s not the same thing.)

Please may I say, to everyone here, thank you? I find your comments and inspiration so helpful, I have laughed, snorted, and giggled, so much. Thank you for that. Polly, you bloody well go girl! Chins and Gins up.

Sorry, not even a big willie could make up for him being a complete twat.
Not even in my world. And I have several. Frozen shit is not part of that. EVER! So there, Nur.

Am I allowed to say that my ex was a rubbish father, a rubbish husband, and completely fucking useless at everything and expected fireworks and glory? Am I allowed to say that? He punched me, once. He never did it again. He told me that he'd punched me because thought he "could get away with it" because I was only a "short arse".
Can people please, please, not say, I'll see you Shortly. It's hugely funny, I laugh so much, at being called See you Shortly. It's tiring though. My ex boyfriend said that, in case I was drowning, he'd throw me a Polo Mint. I'm 62 and STILL trying to get rid of this stuff! I'm 4' 11" on a good day with the wind behind me. I can't help this

Chins and Gins up

I'm actually a fully grown adult. Scary, innit?

@BobISMyUncle…. I’m not a grownup-sized adult either. I’m 5ft. I know exactly what you’re talking about there. I think you and I attracted people with a bullying/big man fetish. Luckily my DH knows better than to pull those kinds of “jokes” at my expense. I’m also a victim of both childhood violence and a separate SA. It’s not funny to be the butt of someone’s jokes to make them feel better about themselves. Defining your own boundaries there is about respect and safety, not whether you’re able to take a joke or not.

Awwwww found my gang of vertically challenged peeps. I too scrape 5' on a tall day!

Fortunately never had a partner that made a thing of it and DH2 always offers to help out others in shops to reach the higher shelves because he gets what a pain in the arse scrambling up shelves is for me.

5' here too! Also, with covid so hopefully on my own with that

5' here too! I've made being vertically challenged work to my advantage on the whole, although a few guys took up carpet munching after trying to make 'funny' jokes about my height (e.g. resting their beer on my head). . .

Yay! Gnomes Anonymous! (Sorry Polly, you can’t play!) My 15y/o son loves to pat me on the head and ask me to get things from the top shelf while he laughs, then says “you did it again, Mum” in his weird, bellowy, teenage boy voice. (I get to make fun of that in return, but that’s not going to work forever.)

I'm feeling positively statuesque at 5ft 1 & a bit.

I'm 5'10'' .

Hope you're doing well Polly

I’m taller than all of you, my loves. Sorry. I do help people get things down from shelves in shops!

Oh crikey and oh blimey, what a week. It’s been full on. Geller CONTINUES to message. The only reason I’ve not lost my shit again is because I don’t want to not hear from him when he has the Dollies this week, nor for him to pull a last minute change of plan. I barely respond, only if it’s directly related to the children.

Dad has finally admitted there is actually something wrong with mum but seems at a loss to know what to do. He hasn’t gone to see their doctor yet. I’m seeing them in a couple of weeks for a family wedding so will make my own judgement.

DB and SIL have announced they are moving to another European country, SIL has an amazing new job, good for her. Mum has taken it as a personal affront she didn’t know about it, but the reality is it makes zero difference to us, we still have to get on a plane to get there! Plus, I’ve never been there, be good to have somewhere new to explore.

I’m all packed! We leave tomorrow. Westley has been all masterful (in an appropriate way!) and has booked a couple of restaurants and checked the route and had the car sorted etc. I feel like I’ve barely done anything. What bliss - I’ve never had a holiday where I’ve not done all the legwork. Can’t wait. The car is packed, just a few last minute bits and the Hoover to run round in the morning. Sadly, one of things I’m looking forward to most is going to a French supermarket again. Feel free to recommend what I should bring back. I’ve got soap, cheese, wine and saucisson on my list so far. Oh, and apricot jam.

The Dollies absolutely fleeced me in Sainsburys last night for new slippers and a couple of pieces of clothing each. Maternal guilt is alive and well. Then we came home and curled up on the sofa and had exactly what each of us wanted to eat and watched Zootropolis. They seem to be doing ok with me going away - we had a few tears on Wednesday night, and I’m hoping for an ok drop off today. We shall see…

To the slopes, my loves! To freedom! To France!

So jealous… Tall, beautiful hands AND a romantic trip to France with Carrefour, etc… God, I miss Le Petit Marseillaise shower gels.

Have a lovely time Polly, I'm not a slope girl myself more of a beach babe .
Have a fantastic après-ski, the dollies will be fine and just think of the gifts you can buy them in France . Happy holidays 💖

Have a wonderful trip!

Have a wonderful time, Polly