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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

995 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 04/03/2022 22:23

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

OP posts:
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AcrossthePond55 · 26/05/2022 16:38

I'm exhausted and don't know how long I can carry on with all of this shit and juggling. I will, of course I will, but when the fuck will someone look after me for a change and put me first?

I'm tired of being a grown up

@StuckInPollyannaMode

I'm so sorry you're going through a rough patch. Your feelings are completely normal. We all go through periods of wanting to drop the burden onto someone else's shoulders, you aren't alone in this. We're only human after all.

But as you say, you will carry on. I know it's hard, but please try to take pride in your strength and your abilities. You are 'doing it' and doing a great job in the bargain. Take pride in that. And the fact that you have principles and scruples that you live up to. Geller is the one who doesn't have the abilities to deal with life when it comes, that's why he's being such an inimitable bastard. Because HE can't cope. And you are coping magnificently.

Just remember that this will not go on forever, even though right now it seems so. The divorce WILL be finalized. The Dollies WILL get to an age where they are more independent and see Geller for 'who he really is'. It will happen and when it does, you will see just how magnificent you have been through it all.

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/05/2022 23:18

And the eleven o’clock news comes to you with…zero bongs! The clock is GONE!

It was picked up tonight by a couple of absolute chancers. If it was in one piece by the time it got to the end of the road I’d be surprised. Still, not my problem - I let them get on with it.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments. You do uplift me. I’m feeling a bit better but not much. So much stuff gone down this week. I’ve managed to do my yoga and run but can’t get on top of the eating. And Cornwall won’t help - tell you when I get back. I leave at 7.30am.

I’ve booked to take me and the Dollies to see a very dear friend in Scandinavia this August. Don’t breathe a word, but we’re taking them to Legoland and staying at an official Lego hotel - the rooms are NUTS 🤣

tell me your news, dear friends in my phone.

And if you want a laugh at any point this weekend, think of me on the beach in my swimsuit with an extremely bruised backside from a much needed but very painful sports massage on Tuesday!

oh - and we’re heading to the Roseland peninsula- just outside St Mawes. That off grid place sounds amazing, enjoy!

OP posts:
redastherose · 26/05/2022 23:48

Happy holidays Polly, hope you and the Dollies have a smashing time. Good riddance to the clock as well Wink

Fraaahnces · 27/05/2022 00:37

Your trips both sound amazing @StuckInPollyannaMode . Hate to be the Grim Reaper, but I think you can expect shitforbrains to kick off with ALL kinds of drama when he finds out you’re taking the Dollies out of the country. Bleh!!!

Newestname002 · 27/05/2022 00:51

I'm SO glad the clock has gone, Polly. It really was time it was taken off your hands. I'd really like to see the look on SIL's dial when it turns up at their's. Still, you've got to face it - that's the way the pendulum swings! (Sorry 😂)

I really hope you and your girls have a WONDERFUL time and that you get the right amount of sun and fun. 🌹

Sunbird24 · 27/05/2022 03:17

Morning Polly, your trips sound amazing and I’m so glad the clock is finally out of your life! I’ve had my own unwelcome guest, albeit much smaller - turned out a mouse had got into my kitchen! It’s gone now, but maybe it was looking for its own clock to live in? It didn’t exactly go clip clippety clop on my stairs either, but I was alerted to its presence by the sound of its little feet on my wood flooring as it ran away after spotting me on the sofa while it was on a forage one evening.

If anyone else is a bit rural I recommend sticking wire wool in the holes of your airbricks… (I didn’t have any so have deconstructed a couple of brillo pads)

ByeByeMissAmericanPie · 27/05/2022 07:30

Oh flippin‘ eck @StuckInPollyannaMode I need to find a small child to take to Legoland in Scandinavia. That trip sounds awesome. My 25yo is no longer interested in going with his DM 🤣.

My DBro gave me some good advice when I started down the road of divorce. He told me not to watch my steps day to day, but to concentrate on the horizon. While you contemplate your navel on a lovely Cornish beach, focus on the horizon too, Polly.

You WILL get there.

AnneKipankitoo · 27/05/2022 07:38

Enjoy your holiday Polly ♥️

Pashazade · 27/05/2022 07:48

Have a fab time Polly, make sure you take double towels for beach sitting and avoid the stones, the pain of a well massaged buttock is quite something Grin.

comfortablyfrumpy · 27/05/2022 07:49

Have a lovely hols Polly, forget Gellar for a while. Let your SHL handle him watch him squirm in Court

Good news that the clock has finally clocked off. One useless piece of crap down, one to go. 😁😁😁

pointythings · 27/05/2022 12:53

What fabulous trips! I went to the original Legoland in the 70s but I doubt it compares. And congratulations on your declocking - good job.

I've bought a dress for DD1's graduation on the 21st of July - a charity shop find, as usual. She's coming home for a week tomorrow, going to do lots of fun things. DD2 has picked a new wheelchair, she needs a really good one now that it's clear she's going to be in it long term. It's £3k (ouch!) but fully customisable to her needs, comes with great support & warranty and it's going to be named Gonzo (because it's blue).

And I'm loving my sabbatical, though weirdly all kinds of interesting jobs are coming up on my various Indeeds, LinkedIn etc.

Have an amazing time in Cornwall.

LadyDanburysHat · 27/05/2022 16:23

Have an amazing time in Cornwall Polly. I moved house a week ago today. It was quite frankly the most stressful thing I have ever done, so I am not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed, especially with everything else you have going on.

Legoland will be so wonderful.

HazelBite · 27/05/2022 16:47

Do enjoy Cornwall Polly, are you going to Legoland in Billand? If so it realy is a cut above the one in the Uk and there are (were when I went there) the most fabulous toy museums there.

claireb7rg · 27/05/2022 18:59

I went to legoland in Denmark in about 86/87 ish, it was awesome! Can't remember where we stayed but I do remember learning to 'drive' the little cars and panning for gold and turning it into a medal.

I can't wait to take our kids when they are a little older - will def go to Denmark rather than Windsor if we can

BornBlonde · 29/05/2022 02:23

How are you this week @StuckInPollyannaMode

CruCru · 29/05/2022 11:07

Have a lovely week!

CheshireCats · 03/06/2022 13:05

Hope you have had a lovely holiday @StuckInPollyannaMode !

StuckInPollyannaMode · 05/06/2022 20:31

Oh my.

Buckle yourselves in folks. It’s been a while and there’s a reason for that. But this one… you’ll need wine.

Firstly though, thank you for your updates. I’ve been reading but finding it hard to find the words to know how to say the below. Not least as I know half of you will be screaming at your screen going ‘I told you so!’

Before I get going, yay to the charity shop find Pointy. Hope the new wheelchair does the trick. Fingers crossed the mouse visitor has gone from the kitchen, and LadyDanbury, I hope you have recovered from your house move.

There’s been much, much going on. It’s all been a bit overwhelming. Actually, a lot overwhelming. There have been a lot of tears and it’s not been a great week.

The Dollies had a great time in Cornwall. And that was my main focus. For we went away with the family with the wife who upset me so much last summer. Because we had promised the children a holiday, and originally it was going to be 2 weeks in the south of France, but then covid and then the divorce and then some other stuff got in the way. The Dollies are still best friends with their children. She didn’t turn up for the first day and a half, as she was working, so it was me and her husband looking after the children. I like him a lot, but it’s not the same as what we had planned. She had to work after a day with us all, and was in bed by 8.30 each night, as was he. Hardly a relaxing break.

This is probably a good thing. As the week before we went away, I found out that she is the leak. She is the one who has been telling Geller everything.

I found out from Geller.

Talk about humiliating.

But now I know why he hasn’t signed. He had half the story about Westley moving and thought that I was going to take the Dollies and move to be with him.

And she’d also told him some other stuff. Private medical stuff, for one.

I am fucking incandescent with rage. Or I was. I ran out of puff after 24 hours. I just can’t be bothered. It turns out she has also really upset two very good mutual friends, so I’m not alone.

I feel so betrayed. And she was already on barely being told anything after last year.

So I sorted out Geller and his ridiculous notions. He has now said he will sign. He is also fine with me taking the Dollies to Copenhagen. Yes, it is the Legoland in Billand.

I get back from Cornwall and I hand over the Dollies to Geller for his half of the holiday, which kills me as they have been little superstars and I miss them like crazy. Then I find out the next day, when I run into two separate old neighbours – by which I mean I used to live there, not that they are old! that Geller has been parading his new woman round the local pub. Hilarious, as he hated going there when we lived there. Less hilariously, he has been telling all and sundry that I have a chap and telling them all about Westley. Well, his misguided version.

And then implying that Westley and I have been seeing each other for longer than we have. And just letting that percolate through people’s minds so there is the suggestion I cheated.

I have decided not to rise to the bait. He undoubtedly knew this would get back to me. He wants me to react. He also clearly isn’t over it as if he wasn’t bothered, why would he try to justify him being with a new partner. Also, his incredible lack of social awareness – the way he did it was awful and both neighbours were shocked – just goes to validate why I made the decision I did. But, the people who matter know the truth. They know I didn’t cheat. More importantly, I know I didn’t.

I am devastated by the betrayal on both fronts and it has completely floored me. I have spent the bank holiday doing DIY and reading and spending time with friends and walking and crying.

Westley is still away til the middle of the week. I have swopped cars with my parents and my mother told me she loved me. My brother called me unprompted and didn’t want anything other than a chat. Several old friends have come out of the woodwork to check on me, as they figured with the house move that something was going on, which makes me feel very cherished.

Oh, and I read THE most amazing book this week. Love, Anthony by Lisa Genova. Highly, highly recommend.

Bit jumbled, but there you go. It’s been bonkers.

OP posts:
AnneKipankitoo · 05/06/2022 21:09

Well rid of that so called friend @StuckInPollyannaMode .
You are doing really well!

TheHighStreetsAreDying · 05/06/2022 21:12

Oh Polly, I'm no use to you with help or advice, but just wanted you to know you are thought of. You DO know you're right. Hang on to that. Wiser pp will be along shortly, I know.💐

LivingDeadGirlUK · 05/06/2022 21:14

The absolute cheek of the woman :O sorry its been a rough one Polly but it was great to read you ending with all the posotives.

I think most people have the measure of Geller, his new gf must be delighted he is talking about you to everyone when taking her out!

Newestname002 · 05/06/2022 21:28

@StuckInPollyannaMode

O.M.G!! What an absolute COW this "friend" is! Really what is the matter with her - is she jealous of you? Does she have a secret, unassuaged longing for him?

I wonder if your mother and brother are finally seeing Geller for the turd he is if they are acting so nice with you. Though I think I'd still stop short of trusting them...

Thank goodness most people who know you and Geller have a better idea of who has integrity and who does not. What a skunk he is. 🍷🍷🌹

Newestname002 · 05/06/2022 21:33

BTW, OP. Does she know about this thread?

comfortablyfrumpy · 05/06/2022 22:24

The absolute nerve of the woman, what an utterly cow.

At least you know the source now.

As for Gellar, anyone who knows him will see through it all. He is such an arse.

Glad your Dollies had a good holiday.

Honestly, next bank hol will be different. Geller will have signed, for one.

Not sure what to make of your Mum and brother's concern ... maybe Geller has let his mask slip in some way and they have realised?

Sorry this week has been challenging. But you have so much in place now for your new life. It will all get better Flowers

Tallisimo · 05/06/2022 23:42

Words fail me! I’ll just say that this ‘friend’ is a piece of work, the Dollies are marvellous and Geller will always be … well… Geller. And you, lovely Polly, are amazeballs xx

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