Child in plaster following car accident- husband angry cos I'm too tired to host a party.

[Constructivewayforward]

Young teenager been in car accident and has a fractured ankle.
Had a week of back and forth to hospital an hour away to take her for treatment.
Husband angry that I was too tired to socialise at her welcome home party today.
I stayed overnight in hospital to care for her and looking after her emotionally and physically.
He's gone to bed and left me up with her (in UK).
He's so angry with me and says he'll never have a houseparty again cos he has to do the work.
I effing told him my priority is teenager, not feeding and cleaning up after 40 people.
I'm so upset about her accident and now I just want to tell him I have to think what's best for the children and I going forward.
He did the same thing when they were born and I had csections.
No support and all he cares about is himself.
Made the party for teenager to cheer her up but went overboard.

I've hit an emotional wall of overload.
Crying and crying.
Have to get a wheelchair from Red Cross with leg support.
Daughter has to miss or not join in with some big celebrations coming up.
Still don't know if driver was speeding or not.
Driver has contacted me.
Cos accident happened on private property, I've only just been told i have to contact police who contact owner of property who contact driver.
I haven't even got licence plate number to give to police!

Oh dear. You’ve been through a terrible shock. I hope you’re eating/drinking/resting. Be kind to yourself

The practical things just need to be done - will husband sort the wheelchair? As you know who the driver is, I’m sure not having a number plate won’t matter. Get yourself on hold on speakerphone to the non emergency police number and sit with a cuppa while you’re waiting.

I badly broke my foot and I was shocked at what a big deal it was. I found suction grab bars at just the right height on the walls of my en-suite loo helped me get in and off the toilet and the hospital gave me something to sit in in the shower. I lived in stretchy pjs for weeks as that was the easiest thing to get over my cast. When I progressed to a boot, a thin, knee length sock stopped it rubbing.

Take care

Thank you
I hope you are better now.
Husband a workaholic so I've taken it on.

OP, have a look at your home insurance policy and see if you have legal cover included. If you do, give them a ring and they can probably give you some advice. Definitely call the police and give them as much information as you can. Keep any texts/emails that you receive from the driver but don't enter into any negotiations with them. Put together a record of absolutely everything regarding the accident and your dd's injuries, treatment etc. The police should look into any witnesses or CCTV. I know you are exhausted, but you do need to move fast as most CCTV is wiped every couple of weeks. You can also ask the police to get recordings of any 999 call.

Spoke to Police today - it's not been reported!
Policeman coming on Thursday to take a statement.

@Elieza

Is he autistic too? Could he think that when people leave hospital the correct thing to do is have a get together?

Sounds like he wants everyone to be around and be happy but he doesn’t want to be the one doing all the grunt work, he just wants the recognition at the end of it.

He thought you’d want a party after your c-section and thought she’d want a party after returning from hospital.

But what he really wanted is a member of his staff (you) to do all of that while he sat back and did nothing but basked in the glory of ‘what a nice thing to do’. Prick.

I’d be saying to him that you if he makes unilateral decisions about hosting parties and doesn’t stop to ask if you would help he should not presume you will.

Actions have consequences. He holds the party therefore he deals with everything himself, including cleaning up.

If that doesn’t suit he either doesn’t hold the party or discusses with you first who is going to do what.

Not all arseholes are autistic. HTH

@Tsuni
I never said they were, only asked about this particular one. HTH

Why is a 17 year old having calpol? Calpol to codeine is a large leap in the pain relief world.

She's 13.
Hit by a car as she crossed a road.