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Original poster

How important is physical attraction?

125 replies

JustTooSad · 21/02/2022 20:43

I've been chatting to someone I met OLD. We're getting on really well, so far so good.

We've just exchanged pictures and he's completely not my type at all. I appreciate pictures don't always do someone justice but I just don't find him attractive. At all.
I feel awful!

I'd feel so mean rejecting someone on the basis of a photo, where he's clearly tried to show his best side!

So, my question is, how important is physical attraction? Can personality and how well we get on mean this can still go somewhere?

OP posts:
ravenmum · 24/02/2022 09:56

[quote garnetcluster]@ravenmum "Did you sign up to MN specifically to share this opinion, or have you namechanged?"

I've posted several times on this thread already, and my reply was to greasyshoes. As to whether I've name-changed, I'm not sure why you're interested enough to have searched, as it's both irrelevant and none of your business.[/quote]
If you don't want people talking to you about your opinions it might be better to voice them more privately!

HaggisBurger · 24/02/2022 10:02

@JustTooSad I think you’re overthinking this somewhat. And being slightly over the top with worrying about giving the bloke “false hope” by having coffee with him …
Just have a coffee and see if you like him / fancy him irl. If you don’t I’m sure he’ll survive 😂. Just say sorry no speak lovely to meet you.

FWIW with OLD moving quickly to the first 30 min coffee saves EVERYONE a whole load of time and wasted investment. The number of women on here that seem to do weeks of messaging, phone calls etc with someone they don’t even know if they are attracted to / looks like their photos / is attracted to them is insane. Not saying this is you - but you need to be quite business like on OLD. And remember the first coffee is NOT a date - it’s screening 😉. Good luck!

HaggisBurger · 24/02/2022 10:02

*no spark

garnetcluster · 24/02/2022 10:08

"If you don't want people talking to you about your opinions it might be better to voice them more privately! @ravenmum

I don't mind discussing my opinions with anybody, even if it had been a specific reply. to someone else. It was the strangeness of you having taken the trouble of searching for me and asking if I'd name-changed to make that reply, though I'd already posted several times on the thread. None of your business, as I've already said.

ravenmum · 24/02/2022 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

garnetcluster · 24/02/2022 10:37

I think you need to work on your reading comprehension @ravenmum and I shan't be engaging with you further.

I said, more or less, that men and women (friends who use the dating apps, that includes friends here on Mumsnet) think the truly beautiful people, of both sexes, are in a minority. Hardly a groundbreaking concept is it.

ravenmum · 24/02/2022 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

TheVolturi · 24/02/2022 10:51

I honestly can't fancy someone from a picture. To me attraction is about seeing someone, even a video or on TV its fine as you can see the real person, how they talk and move and come across. But from a photo that's not possible.

TheVolturi · 24/02/2022 10:53

[quote greasyshoes]@gannett

Definitely one of the strangest things I've ever read on MN.

That said I've also read a lot of MN posts that seem to find men's bodies gross and/or hilarious, so you're not wrong that the sentiment exists. I find those posts completely bizarre as well and I feel sorry for their partners.

You say it's one of the strangest things you've read on MN, but then you immediately agree that there's truth in what I've said and that you've seen the same thing?

But it doesn't mean that men are inherently unattractive. I find that kind of thinking deeply misogynist, because that whole "fairer sex" bollocks leads women into a trap whereby physical attractiveness is "our" territory

Well it's true. All men are ugly. I have never seen an attractive man.

I think it's a bit of a stretch to say that saying all men are ugly is misogynist.[/quote]
Men are ugly?? Really?? All men?? Even if you are a lesbian surely you can appreciate that there are some beautiful men out there!

garnetcluster · 24/02/2022 11:12

@ravenmum

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.
I saw that particular post just before it was deleted and can see why it would have been reported. It wasn't quite as you say, but we're not allowed to quote deleted posts.

Sorry for this, OP. I hope, if you decide to go through with it, that your meet goes well and you make a friendship out of it, if nothing else.

ravenmum · 24/02/2022 11:13

Well thanks, Mumsnet. Now it looks like I must have let out a stream of obscenities or something 😂

ravenmum · 24/02/2022 11:15

I didn't even quote a deleted post 🤷‍♀️ But thanks for the tip!

garnetcluster · 24/02/2022 11:15

There was a quote there just before I posted. It's vanished!

garnetcluster · 24/02/2022 11:23

@ravenmum

I didn't even quote a deleted post 🤷‍♀️ But thanks for the tip!
I was clearly talking about how I couldn't quote your deleted post.^^ HmmThough it was obvious why they'd both been reported.
ravenmum · 24/02/2022 11:30

My confusion was due to me thinking you were trying to be helpful. But now you explain it, it makes a lot more sense Grin
Which MN rule is it I broke, then, or are you not allowed to say that either?

GooodMythicalMorning · 24/02/2022 18:09

My DP is lovely, bit shorter than me but only a few inches. His smell draws me in though. It's intoxicating. I'm addicted to his smell.

Itsnotover · 24/02/2022 18:12

You won't know until you meet him. For me it not the actual appearance of the person but the chemistry. You can't assess that from online.

WafflesOrIceCream · 24/02/2022 19:27

Meet him OP and see how it goes.x

newnewnew42 · 24/02/2022 20:10

@JustTooSad I think you should go unless he’s got something you know will really put you off?
I’m in the same boat, amazing chats with some guy who seems too good to be true..haven’t yet met and I’m wondering if his looks will be the deal breaker (despite seeing some pics and he’s lovely..) too good to be true!

Original poster
JustTooSad · 27/02/2022 09:41

This thread took a bit of a turn! 😂

If anyone's interested, we're hoping to meet for a drink/coffee this week, work schedules and childcare permitting.

OP posts:
Toffeepieandcream · 04/03/2022 12:55

Hoping for an update @JustTooSad ...did you meet him at the weekend and how did it go?

PussGirl · 04/03/2022 15:20

Hope it went well Smile

I'd never have got with my DP if I'd been put off by a picture - he looks dreadful in most pictures as he feels awkward with a camera around, so either looks uncomfortable or pulls a silly face Grin

Original poster
JustTooSad · 04/03/2022 19:25

We haven't managed to meet, work and childcare issues have meant its not been possible.

Think we have Tuesday pencilled in though, so watch this space!

OP posts:
Shuffleuplove · 04/03/2022 21:13

I am over invested!!!

underum · 04/03/2022 21:16

@Shuffleuplove

I am over invested!!!
Me too!!
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