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Original poster

I'm 23, is it weird for me to date a 29 year old man?

88 replies

Lozenge12 · 21/02/2022 19:38

I've been dating a really lovely and respectful man for a couple of months now. He's great and I could see it going somewhere, although do have some concerns as I don't want to 'settle down' for at least another 5/6 years.

I've seen on here that sometimes people will say that when they were 29, they saw 22/23 year olds as children. Is it weird that's he interested in me? It's not too big an age gap is it?

OP posts:
Beamur · 21/02/2022 19:39

No it's not.

Dustlandcinderella · 21/02/2022 19:39

It’s really really not a big age gap. Not even one I would blink an eye at

MargotEmin · 21/02/2022 19:40

Wouldn't give it a second thought

Toottooot · 21/02/2022 19:40

Why would that be weird? It’s hardly an age gap at all.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 21/02/2022 19:41

You what? That's hardly much of an age gap.

CakeAmbushAlert · 21/02/2022 19:41

Only weird that you are asking? A 6 year age gap between consenting adults is entirely normal.

WheelieBinPrincess · 21/02/2022 19:42

Well what do you think?

I don’t know many men at 29 who would want to ‘settle down’ at age 29 in all honesty.

You’re still dating, it’s only early stages, anything could happen.

JellybabyGina87 · 21/02/2022 19:42

I think it's fine.

Mumoblue · 21/02/2022 19:42

No it’s not that big of a gap. There might be more of a “phase of life” gap, but if you’re on the same page right now then there’s no problem.

I think when it comes to age gaps (and this isn’t even a big one), there are people who date quite outside their own age because they just met someone compatible, and then there are people who go for people because those the same age as them can see them coming a mile off! Grin

exhausted100 · 21/02/2022 19:43

Hardly Hmm there's 10 yrs between me and my partner

Ursusmajor · 21/02/2022 19:44

Nope. That’s fine. No one will bat an eyelid.

catsanctuary · 21/02/2022 19:45

It's weird that you think it's weird.

You're not a child are you? Or do you think of yourself as one? I had a baby at your age. Definitely well into adulthood.

Don't assume that if you let this one go there will be a plethora of eligible men to settle down with in 5/6 years either.

Georgeskitchen · 21/02/2022 19:45

Nothing wrong with it. 6.5 year gap between OH and I, and my dad was 7 years older than my mum.
Age 13 and 19 would be wrong, 23 and 29 fine!!

devildeepbluesea · 21/02/2022 19:45

Not in the slightest.

Original poster
Lozenge12 · 21/02/2022 19:51

This is reassuring! I also didn't think it was too big a gap but some posts on here made me start to question it, as posters were talking about a power dynamic etc.

OP posts:
Keepitonthedownlow · 21/02/2022 19:53

It's good for you to be aware of the potential of unequal dynamics. Do you think your DP likes the fact that you're younger?

AmbushedByCake1 · 21/02/2022 20:06

6 years isn't much of an age gap. I have that age gap with my husband and I met him when I was your age and we've been together for a long time!

Bookworm20 · 21/02/2022 20:06

It’s not too big an age gap, but more important is if you’re compatible. If you enjoy the same things and want the same things.

I’d say a 26 year old man dating an 18 year old girl would be a bit weird, even though same sort of age difference. But only because 18 is only just leaving compulsory education. But at 22 you’re not a teen anymore and so as long as you’re happy and he’s treating you respectfully you’re fine.

Usernumber5253747293 · 21/02/2022 20:33

Hardly an age gap at all in your twenties. Can't see what the problem is tbh! Depends if you are compatible and want the same things - compatibility issues can happen with couples the same age so 🤷‍♀️

EarthSight · 21/02/2022 22:55

I don't think so. The only thing I would watch out for is men of this age group sometimes date someone younger because they're putting off settling down (which if they went out with women of their age group, might be more of an issue). Some of them think they can stall growing up in this way....which is fine for you now maybe when you're young and in the same position, but not when you realise that 10 years have gone by and he's still the same.

There are women who occasionally post here and say that a decade later, their partner is STILL not ready or not enthused about moving in together, getting married or having children. Sometimes it's really sad to see as the women might be 35 and really want to have children, but her partner is still stringing her along, still delaying, still making excuses about why it should always be next year and there's no hurry. Those men are Peter Pan types. Generally you see that more when the man is about a decade or more older, but it's a factor that i would consider just in case.

Sunnytwobridges · 21/02/2022 22:58

6 years at that age is not a big gap. If you were 16 and he was 22 that would be different. But as you get older, especially after the age of 21 that gap is not even noticeable.

EarthSight · 21/02/2022 22:59

@Lozenge12

This is reassuring! I also didn't think it was too big a gap but some posts on here made me start to question it, as posters were talking about a power dynamic etc.
Yes there can be, although at your age gap, it's not too bad. Some age gaps are genuinely circumstantial - 2 people meeting at work or something similar. Others are purposeful - men continuously only liking younger women on dating apps because what they really want is an 18 year old. They're opportunistic and will always go for someone younger if they can. No one wants to think of their partner this way, and it's difficult to know sometimes if men are like this because a lot of them are hardly going to broadcast it! They know how it makes them look to women, so it's in their interest to keep quiet about their like for younger women and pretend that it was all just a coincidence.
killerofhouseplants · 21/02/2022 23:01

no.

MichelleScarn · 21/02/2022 23:01

I'd find it v v bizarre that anyone thought a 23 yo a child!

RedCandyApple · 21/02/2022 23:03

This isn’t what I would call an age gap and no one in real life would bat an eye lid at this! And tbh a lot of men don’t want to settle down even the older ones 😏 So don’t think you have to worry about him wanting to settle down!