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Original poster

I'm 23, is it weird for me to date a 29 year old man?

88 replies

Lozenge12 · 21/02/2022 19:38

I've been dating a really lovely and respectful man for a couple of months now. He's great and I could see it going somewhere, although do have some concerns as I don't want to 'settle down' for at least another 5/6 years.

I've seen on here that sometimes people will say that when they were 29, they saw 22/23 year olds as children. Is it weird that's he interested in me? It's not too big an age gap is it?

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 21/02/2022 23:04

No - it's weird that you need to ask though.

Do you like him? Want to be with him? Yes?
Then why do you GAF about what anyone else thinks, let alone some random internet strangers?

JaninaDuszejko · 21/02/2022 23:06

My Mum was 23 when she married my Dad, he was 29. They were happily married for over 40 years.

You are both adults and 6 years isn't an enormous gap even in your 20s (if you were 16 and he was 22 that would be too big a gap, conversely if you were 60 and 66 no-one would ever notice the age gap).

Doanythingforlove · 21/02/2022 23:12

No that’s fine.

Classica · 21/02/2022 23:13

wut?

BoredtoTiers · 21/02/2022 23:14

Uh no, that's not remotely weird. Some folk 'want' to settle down at 29 or before & many don't. I didn't get as far as 'wanting' to settle down. I met now DH in my early 20s, we clicked pretty instantly and best part of 20 years later, here we are.

I can get why some folk (maybe over 30, want kids) will date with intent, but at 23 I'd be more focussed on figuring out if you like each other and (if it's going to get serious) you have similar life goals.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 21/02/2022 23:17

No!! It's fine

FrostedCupcakes · 21/02/2022 23:27

Nope. Not at all.

There's 9 years between me (32) and DH (41). Met when I was 18 and he was 26 - it wasn't weird for us at all. We've been together 14 years this year, recently married as well.

Jonny1265 · 21/02/2022 23:32

no

Ashy123 · 21/02/2022 23:34

They say men's maturity is 7 years behind a women's maturity so sounds like a pretty great age gap to me!

Ozanj · 21/02/2022 23:36

Depends on your backgrounds. If you’re a young looking 23 yo who has only just come out of f/t education or is otherwise vulnerable it would be dodgy. But for normal, healthy adults it definitely isn’t

Strokethefurrywall · 21/02/2022 23:37

I started dating DH when he’d just turned 23 and I was 28.
We’ve been together over 14 years and married 12. No power struggle or anything if you’re on the same wavelength when it comes to money, ambitions, the future.

Avarua · 21/02/2022 23:39

No it's a perfect she gap. Men mature more slowly.

Avarua · 21/02/2022 23:39

she = age

Ozanj · 21/02/2022 23:42

@Avarua

No it's a perfect she gap. Men mature more slowly.
Biscuit
Saysama · 21/02/2022 23:51

I wouldn’t do it. You’re at different life stages (or at least you should be) and I like parity in relationships. Society’s default to the younger woman/older man in heterosexual relationships has always been a bit distasteful to me. The fact that people seem to think its ‘normal’ and trot out things about men maturing more slowly (in a society that lets them, I wonder why?) is just sexist tripe.

That’s my personal take.

Justleaveitblankthen · 21/02/2022 23:52

At your ages, this really isn't an age gap at all.
At my own age ( 50's ) I view you as the same ages. Smile

MrsDamonSalvatore · 22/02/2022 00:00

Not at all. If you were 14 and he was 20 it would be off, but you’re both adults, so absolutely fine.

Amnotamug · 22/02/2022 00:05

I was 26 when I met husband he was 32+..now 20 year later he is the fit healthy guy 😊

greasyshoes · 22/02/2022 00:08

No, but making a thread about it on mumsnet is a bit weird.

me4real · 22/02/2022 00:23

I don't think that's much of an age gap at all OP. Depending on the personalities involved and whether they gel. I mean, when I was 22 I was living with a 30 year old guy, but he had a really middle-aged attitude to life in some ways.

Whe I was 21 I was shagging a 47 year old guy. But that was probably a mistake lol and he was using me for sex and didn't respect me.

Anniissa · 22/02/2022 00:32

Generally I don’t think there is an issue with that age gap as long as you are both compatible and are at the same life stage (ie you both want the same lifestyle at this point (so you both want to enjoy a casual thing or you both are looking for a long term serious thing or you both are looking to have a full on relationship with children in the next few years). If you’re not matched in terms of what you’re looking for, I think it could be very hard to sustain for any period.

BottleOfSun · 22/02/2022 00:34

I was your age when I met my now husband and he was 29, so no I’d say it’s absolutely fine!

CatRamsey · 22/02/2022 00:41

Eh? Not weird at all. I was with a 28yo when I was 18. I'm mid twenties now and am drawn to men in their early 40s!!!

ValerieCupcake · 22/02/2022 10:07

@Classica

wut?
What does this mean?
Nomorepastry · 22/02/2022 11:50

I'm 23 been in a 6 year relationship with a 33 Yr old man who's a childish git.