Partner threatens to leave me every time we argue

[hadenough85]

Is this normal behaviour? When we argue he always defaults to "I've had enough of this, I'm leaving". He maintains this for several hours sometimes days after the argument. I suggest talking, he responds with "what's the point, there's nothing to talk about". Eventually he calms and admits he overreacted and he won't leave. We have a 10 month old baby. Every time he does it I'm just on edge wondering when he's going to do it again.

Mine does this, along with a lot of other awful things. So now after a good few years of this I'm taking him up on his word and I'm planning my escape. As he won't change.

Is this really the only thing he does. What else happens in arguments, how do they escalate. Does he routinely minimise and dismiss (inside and out of arguments), externalise blame or struggle to ever admit to a mistake, gaslight, etc. I appreciate sometimes it's hard to spot these things in the heat of an argument (that's the whole point) but you may be able to reflect afterwards and identify other things and patterns of behaviour.

When this break up suggestion of his lasts for a few days as you say, how does he behave. Is there silent treatment etc, which is also abusive.
I see the update is he was nasty the next day - also absolutely not ok.
These types can be very cruel at times whilst simultaneously genuinely believing they are all round great guys.

Also really work on the fear of being alone, I get it I used to have it. Although of course being with somebody like this makes the fear/anxiety itself a whole lot worse.

Definitely stop showing your fears to him - a shame as relationships are supposed to be about being open and vulnerable - but obviously some people use our fears against us.

But ideally take him up on his suggestion and just leave him (I absolutely know easier said than done especially with your baby). As it is not OK.

Everytime my partner is stressed he takes it out on me and says that’s what happens when your around someone and stressed. I worry I state maybe he needs some kind of therapy only cause I care then he tells me we should break up and o should leave… we have a baby on the way and he has a daughter who I idolise as well as she does with me. I just don’t know what to do anymore as I just care about him and I’m the one who gets put down every time

@Sje14

This is a 3.5 year old thread.

I think you would be better starting your own thread if you are looking for advice.