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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He doesn't want me going to my sisters wedding

90 replies

Lillipetal · 17/02/2022 13:46

When I got with my partner, it was at the same time my sister and her husband were going through a marriage breakdown, my partner liked my sisters husband right at the start, he's a real easy going guy, great to get along with. At that time my sis and her hubby both worked in good jobs, but then they moved and he ended up in a dead end job which he then had an accident in, which caused irreparable damage to him, which inevitably caused the marriage to break down because he wanted to sue a massive corporation which failed, they then broke up. Not long after my sister found another guy and they got engaged to be married. Here's the problem, the new guy is extremely successful in business and not without money, aka rich, and when we went to family gatherings my partner noticed how excited my mum was for her, my partner now calls my sister a golddigger, it's horrible because before that my sister had asked me to do some design work for her for their businesses which of course I did, but then apparently according to my partner I wasn't allowed to be paid. Cut a long story short my sister is getting married to the rich guy and my partner told me he will break up with me if I go to the wedding, like there is no negotiation, if i go then I will not have anywhere to live, and my Mum already told in the past since I got with this guy that if anything goes wrong, to go to a women's homeless shelter, which in my opinion is nasty as she's never been homeless before as she's only ever been looked after by my Father who is an Angel. WTF do I do.

OP posts:
Ra12345 · 17/02/2022 13:48

You break up with your awful partner op. You find a flat or room to rent like anyone would if they found themselves single again. Happens all the time. Do you have a job?

pinkyredrose · 17/02/2022 13:48

Blimey what drama! Sounds like a film plot. Ditch your partner.

QforCucumber · 17/02/2022 13:50

You break up with the man who wants to control you so much he decides when and if you get paid and that you are not allowed to see your family get married.

Tillymintpolo · 17/02/2022 13:51

He’s jealous of your sisters partner. Get rid of him

ChaToilLeam · 17/02/2022 13:52

Whatever happens, ditch this shitbag partner of yours. Do you have enough money to get a room, even in a flat share? Would your sister help if you were stuck?

maddy68 · 17/02/2022 13:52

He would be gone if it were me

Kshhuxnxk · 17/02/2022 13:52

The short version is you get rid of him.

Sexnotgender · 17/02/2022 13:53

Is he controlling in other ways? This is not normal.

Justcallmebebes · 17/02/2022 13:53

I can't think of one positive thing to say OP. Surely, you can see that this is totally unacceptable of your partner

Aprilx · 17/02/2022 13:56

I don’t know why you even need to ask!

femfemlicious · 17/02/2022 13:57

Wowsers @Lillipetal this sounds like an extremely unhealthy relationship. Do you have kids with him?. Why cant you move out and be independent. Why does it need to be living either with him or in a honeless shelter?

tootiredtospeak · 17/02/2022 14:00

Tell him to fuck off you decide whether you do something or bot especially when it's your family. Doesnt sound good though that he can leave you homeless are you living in his house.

Ursusmajor · 17/02/2022 14:01

Your partner’s an idiot. You going to your sister’s wedding has nothing to do with how you or he feel about her ex, or even how either of you feel about her fiancé. She’s your sister. You want to go because it’s an important life event for her. I can’t believe he thinks you’d consider not going just because he doesn’t like the groom. He’s mad to bet your relationship on this. Call his bluff and ditch him. It’s not ok to isolate someone like this. If your mum won’t let you stay for a bit while you sort housing, I bet your sister would!

otherwiseitllbeboris · 17/02/2022 14:01

Get a job if you haven't already. Find out what benefits you are entitled to on the basis of leaving him, apply for them and go. Go to the wedding and go live your life without that twat!

Ursusmajor · 17/02/2022 14:02

Call your dad?

PersonaNonGarter · 17/02/2022 14:03

How is this even a question? Go to your sisters wedding. Ditch your jealous controlling partner.

britneyisfree · 17/02/2022 14:05

Dump him for sure regardless of the wedding

Louisianagumbo · 17/02/2022 14:07

Get yourself a flat and a new hat for the wedding.

WouldIwasShookspeared · 17/02/2022 14:10

What do you do?

You dump that controlling, spiteful, jealous arse and go to your sister's wedding then start a nice life without a git of a man wrecking it.

At the very least, you should go to your sister's wedding no matter what he says.

girlmom21 · 17/02/2022 14:11

Leave him.

Do you work?

T00Ts · 17/02/2022 14:17

This is nothing more than your revolting partner being jealous of and threatened by the success of your sister’s fiancé. He’s being a twat. Leave him. Start anew. Don’t waste your life on him.

Hen2018 · 17/02/2022 14:20

Break up with him first.

Have a lovely time at your sister’s wedding.

CallMeDaddy58 · 17/02/2022 14:22

I take it your mother said not to come back to live with her if your relationship doesn’t work out because she warned you that this man was an arsehole but you moved in with him anyway?

gamerchick · 17/02/2022 14:26

I'd focus on dumping the bloke more than anything else. He's not your partner, he's your master

iklboo · 17/02/2022 14:29

There's a MN phrase you can use for this:

Off you fuck then, cuntychops

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