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Relationships

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Original poster

He doesn't want me going to my sisters wedding

90 replies

Lillipetal · 17/02/2022 13:46

When I got with my partner, it was at the same time my sister and her husband were going through a marriage breakdown, my partner liked my sisters husband right at the start, he's a real easy going guy, great to get along with. At that time my sis and her hubby both worked in good jobs, but then they moved and he ended up in a dead end job which he then had an accident in, which caused irreparable damage to him, which inevitably caused the marriage to break down because he wanted to sue a massive corporation which failed, they then broke up. Not long after my sister found another guy and they got engaged to be married. Here's the problem, the new guy is extremely successful in business and not without money, aka rich, and when we went to family gatherings my partner noticed how excited my mum was for her, my partner now calls my sister a golddigger, it's horrible because before that my sister had asked me to do some design work for her for their businesses which of course I did, but then apparently according to my partner I wasn't allowed to be paid. Cut a long story short my sister is getting married to the rich guy and my partner told me he will break up with me if I go to the wedding, like there is no negotiation, if i go then I will not have anywhere to live, and my Mum already told in the past since I got with this guy that if anything goes wrong, to go to a women's homeless shelter, which in my opinion is nasty as she's never been homeless before as she's only ever been looked after by my Father who is an Angel. WTF do I do.

OP posts:

Bananalanacake · 17/02/2022 15:20

Fine, you go to the wedding and leave him at home, also look for a flat or Houseshare. Does he have any good points.

ExpectingLady93 · 17/02/2022 15:22

OP you have to go to yours sisters wedding there is no negotiation. Surely she would be devastated if you didn't go? Either way what would your excuse be for not going?

Branleuse · 17/02/2022 15:26

I think that even if i didnt want to go to the wedding I bloody would after that ultimatum! How dare he try and come between you and your sister.

HaveringWavering · 17/02/2022 15:29

Do you have kids?

Octomore · 17/02/2022 15:33

my sister had asked me to do some design work for her for their businesses which of course I did, but then apparently according to my partner I wasn't allowed to be paid

What? Why does your partner get to dictate when and how you charge for your work?

my sister is getting married to the rich guy and my partner told me he will break up with me if I go to the wedding, like there is no negotiation

This is extremely controlling. As is the fact that he dictates what you are allowed to be paid for. I assume he's controlling in other ways too?

Seriously, this is not a good man, and not a good relationship.

if i go then I will not have anywhere to live

Do you have any savings of your own? Can you save enough for a rental deposit?

Tilltheend99 · 17/02/2022 15:35

What is the backstory? Why did your mum think it wouldn’t work out with this guy? Is he abusive and controlling in other aspects of your life?

billy1966 · 17/02/2022 15:37

Ask your sister for help and get out of that controlling relationship.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 17/02/2022 15:38

I'm guessing that you're family told you from the start that this guy was a bad guy but you didnt listen.
I'm sure he has made lots of other rules, which your mum has told you are no good and you need to leave. It's probably gone on so long that she had to walk away for her own mental health and told you that when you do get out, to go to a women's shelter because you're going to need to therapy you can access through that.

GabriellaMontez · 17/02/2022 15:38

Go to shelter. Get a job. Anything to not be with your current partner.

SunflowerTed · 17/02/2022 15:43

Have a great time at the wedding! Your partner is an arsehole and your family will be around for a lot longer than he will!

Ilostit · 17/02/2022 15:43

This is just weird - does he fancy your sister ?

Chloemol · 17/02/2022 15:44

Get rid of your partner

Pinkbonbon · 17/02/2022 15:45

What the fuck is I just read..

Your partner hates women. Hates your sister. Qnd hates you too.

If some fucker called my sister a gold digger he would be out on his ass before he could blink. But this guy is even emotionally blackmailing you and trying to stop you going to your own sisters wedding.

He is a shit. Get rid of the scumball and go support your sister. I'm sure she loves you a million times more than he ever could.

Jvg33 · 17/02/2022 15:52

You do realise you have rights if you live in his property. He can't just kick you out in 10 minutes.

username1293948 · 17/02/2022 15:53

If your Father is an angel he won’t let you go homeless. Leave him regardless of what you choose to do.

Brefugee · 17/02/2022 15:53

in your heart you know what you need to do. How dare your partner tell you your work isn't to be paid for. (I hope you ignored this?)

Extricate yourself from your relationship, asap. It's a pity your mum is how she is, but do you think she has ever liked him?

jytdtysrht · 17/02/2022 15:54

If you have kids, you dump him without a second thought.

Beautiful3 · 17/02/2022 15:54

How is any of this questionable?! Your partner is being very controlling. Dump him and leave. Otherwise it will be something else next.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 17/02/2022 15:56

No one has the right to emotionally blackmail you like that, or tell you what relationship to have with your own sister.

He needs to go.

Seraphinesupport · 17/02/2022 15:57

your being abused through control. Leave him. so what if your sister is a golddigger, nothing to do with him whether she is or isnt.

DPotter · 17/02/2022 15:57

@Jvg33

we don't know this couple's living arrangements - she may have no rights at all. So yes, if this excuse of a man, is the owner of the property they are living in and the OP isn't on the deeds / mortgage / tenancy, she sadly has absolutely no rights at all. If they are both on the mortgage / tenancy, then yes she has rights.

Please don't go sweeping in, when we don't know the full background to someone's living arrangements

Haffiana · 17/02/2022 15:58

He hates rich people. He is a prejudiced bigot.

If he told you not to go to the wedding because your sister was marrying someone with a different skin colour/disabled/same sex then you would see him for what he is.

Pinkbonbon · 17/02/2022 15:59

Often if we've had a nasty parent, we end up being drawn to a nasty partner. Same thing if we've had a parent who teaches us we are worth less than men/others or that we should tolerate their bs.

It's a scary thing to start over, but not nearly as scary as living with a monster forevermore.

MrsTimRiggins · 17/02/2022 15:59

What do you do? You dump him. The whole excuse of liking sisters ex is just that, an excuse. The reality is that your boyfriend is a controlling arsehole and if it wasn’t this, it would be something else he’d be using to control you with. He’s trying to separate you from your family, he isn’t messing around here.

FairyCakeWings · 17/02/2022 16:00

@Jvg33

You do realise you have rights if you live in his property. He can't just kick you out in 10 minutes.

He can if they’re not married and it’s his house that he alone pays for.

I managed to kick a live in partner out of my home without any problem.

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