My grandfather died today - he’s been in a care home for the past 10 months . He went downhill very quickly during the first lockdown . From a though elderly man who still drove short distances , had his favourite pub , his allotment and his daily routine and the first lockdown changed all that . Because of the lockdowns it was near impossible to get a diagnosis let alone good care from his gp but we muddled through as a family as distressing as it was till last February when he had a very large “episode” combined with two falls and he was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He was then after two months diagnosed with mixed dementia and moved in to a care home .. he was never the same again especially with the limitations on visits and how much we could see him or do , but we made it work. Until today .
They went to raise him from his usual lie in and he had a massive stroke , they did everything right but because of the DNR and his condition it was decided to keep him at the home .
From 3:30 until 7:26 pm I watched the man who took over the job of raising me cry out in pain (despite the medication to ease him) fight for every single breath , and his body seeming to consort In complete agony … I’ve never seen nor did i expect his death to be like that . I thought his death would be a release from the pain and suffering, that his mind would finally be at peace again , but it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch … I don’t know why I am even writing this , but I’m sat here and all I keep thinking about is how he never deserved that and I don’t know how to process what I saw