He has stormed out AGAIN in a temper

[Workinghardeveryday]

Don’t even know what to say or where to start.

Just wanted to not feel alone and upset again

It’s obviously a regular occurrence.

It’s not you it’s him.

Every single time there are ‘words’ and it’s obvious he is at fault, he goes crazy temper, storms out in his car driving like an idiot

What happens afterwards? Does he come home and apologise or give you silent treatment for a while then pretend nothing happened ?

He’s just sent the usual long text, saying how much he hates his life, going on on about work and how much he hates it. Same story every time.

I don’t have a life because all I do is for him.

Silent treatment then nothing. Never brings it up unless I do

My ex use to do that and it was exhausting. Completely broke me. I wish I hadn’t spent four years with him as it changed the way I view men now. Hope you give it a good thought where you want to be in life and what it will look like with him in it him being like that towards you. And no it will never change, it just gets worse and will wear you down

How about doing things for yourself instead of him?.

Love your own self for a change OP; its all too clear he does not love you at all. He sounds bloody dreadful towards you and treats you like some sort of servant.

Lock the door, turn off your phone and go to bed.

Tomorrow make a plan of action to leave him.

So he is not above abusing you either by doling out the silent treatment aka emotional abuse in order to reassert his power and control over you.

You do realise that the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

Did you see similar as a child growing up between your parents?.

And you’ll forgive him AGAIN why?

LTB.

Leave

@BuritoCat

Lock the door, turn off your phone and go to bed.

Tomorrow make a plan of action to leave him.

This.

Makes plans to get yourself away from this abuse as soon as you can.

Theres not much context OP. Is this new behaviour in the context of an otherwise long and happy relationship? Has he always been like this and you've suffered this and maybe worse for a long time? Or is it a newish relationship and this behaviour has just revealed itself? It can't go on regardless, but the context is helpful in identifying your best, and safest, course of action.

Don’t get me wrong, he can be really really lovely. Rubs my feet sometimes and stepped up recently because I got Covid. Went over and beyond.

But we had words tonight. I tried telling him how something that has happened in the past upset me so much and effects my life. He just got nasty like usual.

He just rang me shouting and screaming. He hates his life. Hates his job. If it wasn’t for the kids he would kill himself.

Told me I ruin his life. Ruined the weekend. Ruin everything

Tell him to get TF

You don't need this in your life

Would he co side counselling? He sounds quite entrenched in his own narrative.

Throwing up these tantrums which involve everything from work to threatening to take his life is a very child-like way of dealing with his underlying disappointment in himself.

He just got nasty like usual.
If it wasn’t for the kids he would kill himself.
Told me I ruin his life. Ruined the weekend. Ruin everything

This accompanied with the ‘can be really really lovely’ is abuse. Get out now.

Tell hi to get a grip and then dump him he sounds mental

Oh no I once had the feeling of “not this again” it was once to often, he’d been verbally abusive again. It was too much for me and I left him. I’ve also, years ago after I left, had the suicide threats. It’s a head fuck but I told him was that his children needed him and I needed him to be there for them. Do you think he is suicidal?

It sounds like this is both of your default reaction when both of you reach a flashpoint. Obviously it triggers something for him to react like this. The best thing is to go for communication or couples coaching where you can both learn to communicate respectfully. Its not appropriate for him to storm out like this so has has to find a better way to resolve difference. How do you deal with your kids when this happens? It does happen.a lot that one partner is hypo and the other hypo in resolving conflict.

If my dh said if it wasn’t for the kids I’d kill myself then I’m afraid I’d call his bluff. Just say ok, crack on.
My dm threatened more than once and eventually I said if you think that’s the answer then it’s up to you.
I put the phone down and worried sick for a day. Of course she didn’t.

He’s saying all these things to get a sympathetic reaction.
He’s abusive and knows it.

Sounds like a manipulating twat

It's called 'the cycle of abuse' for a reason. If they were nasty all the time, you wouldnt stay.

Re your comment:-

"Rubs my feet sometimes and stepped up recently because I got Covid. Went over and beyond".

That's an extremely low bar you've set for yourself right there and one at that he continues to milk and otherwise exploit at your expense.
Abusive people can be "nice" sometimes but their nice/nasty cycle of abuse is a continuous one.